Urges to use
 

Sleepless last night, feeling angry that I couldn't use anymore, then realized that I could use anytime I want and I am choosing not to. It was an empowering moment. But there is still much work to be done to find something to replace the thing that I thought was making me happy for the last 18 years. I'm gonna need help

Bravo, Bigox!!! It is an empowering moment, isn't it?

You've said a whole heck of a lot in 4 sentences :)

Yes, good for you for recognizing that you are setting yourself free!

And, good for recognizing that you need to make positive changes in your life to continue on your recovery.

Way to go, Bigox, for staying strong! :a122:
It's tough for me to deny my booze urges, too, but healthier eating, starting to exercise again, and getting more sleep is helping me through. This is a wonderful place for cyber support. Keep posting.

A big step. Good for you. As to finding something to replace the substance in your life try turning the thought around. What has the substance replaced that was your life before. I've found myself renewing old interests and satisfying old desires that had been supplanted by the booze. It is like I was stuck on an elevator between floors for years and now I'm moving again. Not always sure where I'm going but at least I'm not stuck.