Hi- New Guy Here
 

I'm on my fourth real day of drying out (fifth if you count having had to take a few shots because I was terrified of what I was feeling physically).

I've been to AA. Been through alcohol addiction classes. Have had multiple starts and failures.

Then after this 4th of July weekend I knew I was killing myself. I know you all know what I'm talking about. I was literally killing my body, and it let me know. I wasn't sure if I was going to live on the evening of the 5th. That state I was in wasn't sickness. That's wasn't too drunk. It was something else all together. I was terrified. I was experiencing seizures, hot pains throughout my chest, shaking, & heavy sweating. Every time I started to get into REM sleep the base of my brain at the back of my neck would shoot out, and only way I can describe it, was an electric shock. I really didn't sleep for about two days because of that.

Anyway. It's been a rough 5 days. Massive bloating. Headaches. Shakes. Etc..

That said, I woke up yesterday feeling pretty good. I woke up today feeling like I actually had some energy in the first time in a very long time. I went to the track and walked two miles. It felt great.

Something has changed in me. I cannot & will not drink any more. I used to be a very fit, active, driven 180 lbs man. I've gained 25 lbs & have dazed away the last few years of my life.

Thank you for this forum. I've lurked for a bit. I don't know how much I'll post, but this place gives me something in small doses that I need at the right amount I need.

- nm1212

Congratulations on your decision to live a sober life! We'll be here to support you whenever you stop by. Welcome to SR! :grouphug:

Welcome nm. This is a great place.

:welcome to SR.

Welcome NM! I too am on day 4. I also have gotten to the point where I feel like I am compromising my health, I can't "get away" with the drinking any longer. I cringe thinking what I have done to my body. Physically, I just don't feel well a lot of the time. I used to run a lot but put that on the back burner because I was either too hungover to run or too buzzed. That is going to change. I do know that the best thing we can do is quit. Our bodies will thank us.

Yeah, there was a time about 4 or 5 months ago when I was dry for 18 days. I felt great. I started running 4 times a week again. Working out again. And then one day I was just bored, and that was it. I hadn't had more than three days of sobriety since.

It's funny because I'm fine with boredom, restlessness, or anxiety this time around. I don't care. Not drinking is preferable to chest pains, bloating, headaches, shakes, sweats, no sleeping, and being out of shape. Even getting drunk has become more of a don't-feel-like-crap thing and then I just pass out. Rinse & repeat.

Screw that. I'm tappin' out. My productivity levels are already starting to rise again. Drinking has become so unattractive and so repulsive to me now that I can't reconcile being happy & healthy and have that crap in my life. I just can't. I've realized I'm one of those not-one-drink kind of people.

Whatever. I'm cool with that.

- nm1212

Welcome, nm, glad you are here! I too, lurked for a few months (whilst 'trying' to quit). It wasn't until I actually registered on here and began to post that it clicked for me. I wasn't alone anymore, I could vent at any time, and have support 24/7 if I needed it. 82 days later, I'm feeling I am living a new life. It's wonderful.

I do understand how you felt that you were literally going to die from drinking. I also felt that, too. I woke every day thinking about how my body was crying out to heal, and I ignored it. Daily. It wasn't until I nearly died one night from choking on my vomit whilst asleep that I realized I HAD to do something. Right then and there I quit, and I have not touched a drop since, and I never will. Enough was enough.

Keep strong and keep posting! Wishing you all the best.

82 days. Very cool. What are the things I can look forward to 77 days from now?

- nm1212

Welcome!! We're all glad you're here!! :)

What can you look forward to, 77 days from now?

Clarity
Freedom
Trusting yourself and others
A renewed sense of inner peace and calmness
Being able to look yourself in the eye every morning
Respect - for yourself and others
A joy - this is ME and I like it.

Keep pushing on - there are many, many more wonderful things about sobriety!!

Welcome to SR nm1212 :)

D

Welcome nm 1212!

Oh, like a mirror. My last detox was 6 weeks ago. It was like Hell but worse including 3 daze of hallucinations constant. I'll take it as a blessing because I'm more afraid of detoxing again then I am of continued sobriety. I too was an emotional and physical wreck. Now I'm on a serious nutrient rich diet with daily exercise and its making all the difference in the world. I'm actually at peace with my sobriety and look forward to waking up each morning versus coming to. All my best to you.

:welcome to SR

Welcome!

That sounds like it was a scary experience!

Welcome nm! and congrats on your first five days sober! You had a heckuva detox, that alone would make me never touch a drink again! I chickened out and checked myself into a VA hospital for a nice 7 day supervised and medicated detox. Hang in there or hangover!
:c011:
I am with newwings in everything said and more. Nine months here and it gets better with every month, just like it seems to get better every week at first.

Pay attention to what MycoolFitz said:
" . . . look forward to waking up each morning versus coming to."

I like that fitz! It fitz me.

Welcome!