Just don't understand the point on some of the steps of AA?
rode hard and put away wet
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 999
It helped me so much to read the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions when I couldn't quite wrap my mind around things. Do you have that book or can you borrow it from someone?
Also, you can find it here online: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Also, you can find it here online: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Originally Posted by ACT10Npack 
I red about 30 percent of the Big Book. That was last year when I was in AA. Could not understand a lot of it to do with alcohol and recover plus the anti evolution/science just could not get pass but that's for an other day. To the 12 steps. I can understand some of the steps but the steps that are in bold below I could never understand the point of it and what it has to do with alcohol and recovery.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 94
Threshold THANK YOU for your insights, your bit on 'turning over' in small ways to create more peace in daily life really got my heart racing- it was an aha moment - realising that this is unfolding for me right now and I think I'm starting to 'get' it.
Actionpack, I'm new to recovery and have issues with organized religion, although I consider myself spiritual(ly) lacking but working on it.
I agree it's more about finding your own concept of a Higher Power as others have broadly defined it, and even if it feels weird to begin with (as it has for me in saying the third step prayer at times for example, because it employs the word 'god') just be willing to maintain it and see if it makes any difference to your feelings. Not just relating to drinking, but every little thing, each day.
Actionpack, I'm new to recovery and have issues with organized religion, although I consider myself spiritual(ly) lacking but working on it.
I agree it's more about finding your own concept of a Higher Power as others have broadly defined it, and even if it feels weird to begin with (as it has for me in saying the third step prayer at times for example, because it employs the word 'god') just be willing to maintain it and see if it makes any difference to your feelings. Not just relating to drinking, but every little thing, each day.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Originally Posted by bellakeller
It helped me so much to read the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions when I couldn't quite wrap my mind around things. Do you have that book or can you borrow it from someone?
Also, you can find it here online: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Also, you can find it here online: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
I quit over thinking it and those steps you bolded, especially the first few.... Revealed themselves to me. It's really quite simple.
Do you believe that you can be restored to sanity? Do you believe that you need to be, restored to sanity? Can you sit on your hands and not drink and just move forward, put yourself aside and let it happen, without getting in your own way with rationalization, intellectualization and justification... If so, then you've done steps 2 and 3... Then get to work on step 4... Just do it like it says to, exactly like it says to, not how you think it should be done (like I did at first
)....
Find a sponsor and most of all have faith that the 12 steps can work for nearly anyone who is willing to be honest.
Do you believe that you can be restored to sanity? Do you believe that you need to be, restored to sanity? Can you sit on your hands and not drink and just move forward, put yourself aside and let it happen, without getting in your own way with rationalization, intellectualization and justification... If so, then you've done steps 2 and 3... Then get to work on step 4... Just do it like it says to, exactly like it says to, not how you think it should be done (like I did at first
)....Find a sponsor and most of all have faith that the 12 steps can work for nearly anyone who is willing to be honest.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
I struggled with the spiritual aspect of sobriety for the first few months of my recovery. In retrospect I realize that I was stuck by my skepticism of organized religion: every time I heard or read the word "spiritual" my brain inserted "religion" in it's place. And by religion I mean the worst of it, the Jim Bakkers of the world, hipocrisy, judgement of others, etc.
I struggled with the second and third steps because I thought to subscribe to them was to abandon my distaste for the decidedly unspiritual aspects of organized religion. Not so - in fact, they have nothing whatever to do with religion. It took a while of working on it to come to that conclusion, but once I understood that I was able to accept, understand, and apply the spirituality of AA to my sobriety.
One book that helped was The Spirituality of Imperfection by Ernest Kurtz. An excerpt from it's back cover:
I struggled with the second and third steps because I thought to subscribe to them was to abandon my distaste for the decidedly unspiritual aspects of organized religion. Not so - in fact, they have nothing whatever to do with religion. It took a while of working on it to come to that conclusion, but once I understood that I was able to accept, understand, and apply the spirituality of AA to my sobriety.
One book that helped was The Spirituality of Imperfection by Ernest Kurtz. An excerpt from it's back cover:
"I am not perfect" is a simple statement of profound truth, the first step toward understanding the human condition - for to deny your essential imperfection is to deny your own humanity. This illuminating book brings together the wisdom stories of many traditions and faths, .... it enables us to accept the inevitability of pain and failure so that we can ease the hurt and move toward serenity and wholeness. The Spirituality of Imperfection speaks to anyone who yearns to find meaning - and even joy - within suffering.
I highly recommend TSOI to anyone who is interested in this topic or struggling with the whole "god-thing" in AA.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I attempted to understand the steps for years while I kept drinking.
I eventually quit thinking about it when I got so desperate I was willing to try anything. I got a sponsor and with her help began to understand the steps and the importance of them.
I eventually quit thinking about it when I got so desperate I was willing to try anything. I got a sponsor and with her help began to understand the steps and the importance of them.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: dayton, oh
Posts: 487
I have no comment on sanity, defects of character or shortcomings when it comes to alcoholism, but in my recovery I follow a path where I choose not to engage in destructive behaviours and thoughts. Knowing God in my life has helped me follow that path. It has also shown me that I am not alone, that I do not control the outcome of all things and that in gratitude there is peace.
SH
SH
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 273
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Realizing that we couldn't do it on our own and that something bigger than ourselves could help us
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Deciding to allow a power greater than you to help you and
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Releasing the guilt of all our wrongdoings by admitting them to someone we trust.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Letting go of our guilt and ready to start with a clean slate
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Asking for guidance to change our ways
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Keeping our commitment to living a new life, and asking for help when we need it, meditation helps when we need to think before we act.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Helping others who are just starting out. Helping others is the #1 way to beat depression. We can't feel sorry for ourselves when we are helping others who were in the same situation we were once upon a time.
Realizing that we couldn't do it on our own and that something bigger than ourselves could help us
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Deciding to allow a power greater than you to help you and
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Releasing the guilt of all our wrongdoings by admitting them to someone we trust.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Letting go of our guilt and ready to start with a clean slate
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Asking for guidance to change our ways
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Keeping our commitment to living a new life, and asking for help when we need it, meditation helps when we need to think before we act.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Helping others who are just starting out. Helping others is the #1 way to beat depression. We can't feel sorry for ourselves when we are helping others who were in the same situation we were once upon a time.
Programmaddict
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: God's Hands
Posts: 217
At cursory observation the contested steps are the ones that involve God.
I notice the uncontested steps, like all the other steps, contain references to "we" and "our". I take this to mean that OP doesn't have any problems accepting that recovery isn't something accomplished alone but requires the help and fellowship of others. If OP can accept that it cannot be done alone and that the involvement of others is integral to success it is only a matter of time before OP hears from those others that they needed a Higher Power to find success often enough that OP eventually accepts that as well.
I notice the uncontested steps, like all the other steps, contain references to "we" and "our". I take this to mean that OP doesn't have any problems accepting that recovery isn't something accomplished alone but requires the help and fellowship of others. If OP can accept that it cannot be done alone and that the involvement of others is integral to success it is only a matter of time before OP hears from those others that they needed a Higher Power to find success often enough that OP eventually accepts that as well.
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