Threshold

I was warned and ready, as one can ever be, for the discomfort of physical withdrawl, but I just didn't really understand the emotional withdrawl I'd be going through when I got clean.

I mean, to be fair, people did tell me that I would start feeling emotions again, and it would be surprising and scary, but I simply couldn't understand. Maybe because I'd been numb for so long, that I didn't really understand what feeling felt like.

But this time round, following a relapse a couple months ago, I am going through a real emotional "withdrawl". I'm exhausted, all the time. Not picking up to make the feeling go away, and just sitting with it, acknowledging the feelings and choosing not to act out inappropriately is tiring, shocking. I wish I could take a breather from my day to day life a little to rest and recouperate, but it doesn't work that way. I'm a bit of a distracted zombie, as all this percolates up from the depth of me. but having gone through physical withdrawl a few times now, I know the only way out is through and I'll feel better in the long run.

FT

Hi Threshold,

The hardest part of recovery for me has been the emotional part. The tremendous lethargy I felt in the first days, was followed by a VERY gradual return of energy. For me, I become energetic when I am happy, and I want to do NOTHING when I am depressed.

Drugs and alcohol are very commonly used to self-medicate depression and other psych disorders. So it is no wonder those other "demons" are there waiting for us when we stop.

The best "anti-depressant" I know if it exercise. Taking my own advice, however, is sometimes tough. When I do take my own advice, I feel miles better. It is now creating a routine of it that is the hard part for me.

loveon2legs

Still At 18 months sober...I feel this way...not as much...but just know you are not alone in feeling this way....I think it's about finding a balance...right now I'm busy with work...sometimes I think I over fill my schedule just so I don't feel as much...then I just crash at night....everyday is a new day....to learn...and to grow......balance.....that's what I'm striving for today...

Itchy

9 months and still a lot of getting used to being sober here too. PAWS and it is different for each. I will say that it has gotten hundreds of times better. I have to also accept that some things may not get better physically and emotionally I have to deal instead of run. And I am willing. It gets lots better. And if our addictions have caused soem irreparable damage to one, then the obvious thing to do is count the thousands of blessings and see if they don't far outweigh the self caused deficits from our use and abuse. I'm lucky. From what I see I am going to make it pretty much 100% back. The rest? It just is what it is. Takes a couple of years for some.

Dee74

It can be tiring.

I think a good support network is vital Threshhold....if you haven't got one, I really recommend getting one

D

Threshold

I AM getting back into an exercise routine (daily hiking) and that helps on a couple levels, the fact that the body releases happy hormones and because I use the time to meditate, process AND talk to my sponsor!

Thanks all for your encouragement. I had a real test last night in just being with my feelings instead of acting out in unproductive ways, or reacting without thought. So, it was really uncomfortable, but I feel proud of myself, grateful for my program. And like exercise strengthens the body, putting the principles into practice a day at a time strengthens my program.

And one of the things I did last night to "get through" WAS a hike, so a nice way to deal with both issues at once. Gotta exercise that sobriety muscle too!

Vi0let

Hi, Threshold.
I totally get where you're at. It's been a week today and i am pretty much raw in every sense of the word. Getting back into exercise has been hard, physically. Before i quit the booze, ironically i was at the gym 4x a week. Now, i can barely walk 30 minutes. But i make myself do it.
Endorphines - natural ones - are a wonderful thing.