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Old 07-09-2011, 07:19 AM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wisconsin
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Day 5

Day 5 and stayed sober last night. The festival/concert lasted from 4-midnight and I purposely didn't go until around was incredibly hard not to drink in that environment, (and with friends pressuring me to drink, offering me a drink for the 80th time), but then I decided to do a little experiment and really watch other people and my friends and I was amazed by how drunk and stupid so many of the people looked! Drunk women completely hammered and dancing (a double bad look when you're loaded AND can't dance), people helping others walk, the gross drunk couple making out, and it made me feel good to know I wasn't ONE of was definitely a challenge, and I left at 10:30 for 2 reasons: one is of course it was hard not to drink, and two, it just wasn't that fun to be with a bunch of hammered people. I realized I would rather be home in my jammies reading a book or watching a movie and doing something that would stimulate me other than this, which leads me to this question: How do you go about making some new friends who don't care about drinking and would rather do a game night, movie night, attend a museum, etc? I don't want to sit alone all of the time, but am realizing I need to make some life-style changes because if I continue to put myself in those environments it will not be healthy. The ex was there and thought he did a great job by only having 2 beers - LOL! But that is his struggle and his cross to bear - not mine. I am focusing on ME and my sobriety because that is my number one priority right now...
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Old 07-09-2011, 07:59 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Way to go Snoopy! That is so awesome that you went and didn't give in! It is interesting when you watch the drunken folk - and the funny thing is they all probably think how cool and fun they seem.

It is hard to make normal friends, I think. It's not like you can ask someone, Hey, what's your name and how much do you drink a night? What about starting or restarting a hobby or taking a class that interests you. If there is someone who seems interesting, you could see about going for a coffee or something. If they suggest, hey let's go to the bar for a nightcap, instead probably not the right new friends!

I find it much harder to make new friends the older I get, so I am interested in this too!

Take care and great work!
Laying' low
Want to take it slow
No more hiding
Or disguising truths I've sold
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Old 07-09-2011, 08:11 AM   #3 (permalink)
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WTG SNOOP!!!!!!!!!!

The past is simply the future with the lights on...
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Old 07-09-2011, 09:46 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Fantastic job, Snoopy! I know how hard it can be at the beginning, but I promise you it gets easier. I went to a music festival last night too..last year it was definitely a drunk fest for me because it's only 10 mins walk from my house, so you can imagine how much wine I could ingest there and stagger home. This year I went, took my 7 year old daughter and had a BLAST. Of course, all my friends were blotto by the end of the night, but I was able to offer them a ride home (after dropping daughter home), so my sobriety is useful to not just me!

One friend asked.."how can you DO THIS? Isn't this hard? Don't you hate it?". My answer is definitely NO. It's not hard, once you see everyone struggling to make decent conversation after a few hours on the grog. I finally got to hear the music, rather than using the occasion to drink myself senseless. It was a far, far better experience for me than it ever was last year. Here's to another sober day!

In answer to your question about making sober friends, I am still struggling with this one. I haven't got any either. At the moment, my teen and daughter are my sober friends, and they appreciate my sobriety more than anyone else could. I'm hoping I will make some adult sober friends at some point, but I think this comes slowly...
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Old 07-09-2011, 03:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Good for you, Snoopy!

Good for recognizing that change is needed. That's an important decision to make. It's not fun to be doing the same things with the same people when we're in recovery.

My advice- Volunteer.

I was blessed to get into an amazing volunteer position in very early recovery. I met some of the most amazing women I have ever known during the 8 years I did that. Volunteering gives you a chance to meet people in a non-drinking environment and to give back to your community. It helped my self-esteem enormously.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
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