Trying To Cope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 136
Trying To Cope
Hi all. I just joined SoberRecovery yesterday in attempts to cope with my boyfriend's addiction to and abuse of OxyContin.
I have a psychology background and understand addiction, but understanding it and watching someone you love go through it are two completely different things, and his abuse of the drug has gotten so dangerous (injecting it) that i can hardly get through each day without falling apart.
I love him more than I ever thought someone could love another person - he is my life, HE is the best part of ME. He almost lost me to heart failure last year (viral cardiomyopathy) but he never gave up, stood by my side throughout my illness, took care of me when I didn't have the strength to take care of myself, and I am grateful that he is a part of my life. I'm not sure if I would have made it without him.
But now the tables have turned and I feel helpless. I know I can't just sit here and watch him self-destruct, but I will not leave him. He saved me and I won't turn my back on him when he needs me more than ever, but my health is compromised because of my heart condition and his drug abuse is not only killing him, it's killing me too.
I started going to therapy on Thursday and things have gotten a bit better. We have been sitting down and talking about his addiction for the past few days and he's beginning to open up to me, but I'm still weary. Hopefully things will continue to improve.
Anyway, I just thought I would share my story and hopefully get a few words of wisdom, encouragement, or experience. Just getting all of this off of my chest has helped a great deal.
Thanks for listening.
I have a psychology background and understand addiction, but understanding it and watching someone you love go through it are two completely different things, and his abuse of the drug has gotten so dangerous (injecting it) that i can hardly get through each day without falling apart.
I love him more than I ever thought someone could love another person - he is my life, HE is the best part of ME. He almost lost me to heart failure last year (viral cardiomyopathy) but he never gave up, stood by my side throughout my illness, took care of me when I didn't have the strength to take care of myself, and I am grateful that he is a part of my life. I'm not sure if I would have made it without him.
But now the tables have turned and I feel helpless. I know I can't just sit here and watch him self-destruct, but I will not leave him. He saved me and I won't turn my back on him when he needs me more than ever, but my health is compromised because of my heart condition and his drug abuse is not only killing him, it's killing me too.
I started going to therapy on Thursday and things have gotten a bit better. We have been sitting down and talking about his addiction for the past few days and he's beginning to open up to me, but I'm still weary. Hopefully things will continue to improve.
Anyway, I just thought I would share my story and hopefully get a few words of wisdom, encouragement, or experience. Just getting all of this off of my chest has helped a great deal.
Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,474
Welcome to SR. 
I am sorry to hear of your troubles at the moment. You will find a load of support, understanding and insight here. You could also try posting on the friends and family thread, as all the folks there will be able to relate and I am sure you will find some useful help and info there.
All the best.
I am sorry to hear of your troubles at the moment. You will find a load of support, understanding and insight here. You could also try posting on the friends and family thread, as all the folks there will be able to relate and I am sure you will find some useful help and info there.
All the best.
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