Tonight was hard...
Tonight was hard...
Tonight was one of the harder nights I've had regarding staying sober. My mom bought a bottle of vodka for the 4th to make martinis (I LOVE(D) vodka) and it's been in the kitchen since then - staring at me, but it was easy enough to ignore, surprisingly. Until tonight...my step-dad started drinking it (no one in this house can let a bottle of alcohol just sit there...if we have it, we drink it) and then he and my mom starting fighting - not because of but not unrelated to the drinking - and because of some childhood trauma issues, when parents fight, I get exceptionally uncomfortable and nervous and stressed...so, seeing him drinking my favorite drink and listening to them fight was just too much.
Fortunately, I was on my way out to see a movie with a dear, dear friend who is super supportive of me and cares so much about me that it was easy for me to sort of open up about why I was in such a crappy mood and get it out (which helped tremendously). Getting out of the house and away from the fighting/drinking and having a 2 hour distraction in the form of The Tree of Life (I'm still trying to figure it out...) also really helped. But I'm still thinking about that vodka. At least he drank it all so it's all gone....
Fortunately, I was on my way out to see a movie with a dear, dear friend who is super supportive of me and cares so much about me that it was easy for me to sort of open up about why I was in such a crappy mood and get it out (which helped tremendously). Getting out of the house and away from the fighting/drinking and having a 2 hour distraction in the form of The Tree of Life (I'm still trying to figure it out...) also really helped. But I'm still thinking about that vodka. At least he drank it all so it's all gone....
I can't really blame my mom for the vodka bit - she has NO idea about my alcoholism/addiction...though she does know I'm not drinking anymore (I told her it was because of my medications - which is also true)...but that doesn't make watching someone drink any easier :/ I'm glad I didn't drink, though!
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