sark

Day three and I feel awful. I want to crawl out of my skin. I go to a church and have met wonderful people. One in particular has been very supportive and has never said no when I needed to talk or just have some company. She recommended that I talk with our pastor in the church about my drinking which I did. I wanted some direction from him in what I should do in a spiritually and medically. He told me that I could do this on my own and that people would be their to help me. However I don't feel I can do it on my own. Is it possible that some people can need the extra support or should I push through.

silly

Very few people can do this completely on their own. You'll find that not everyone here goes to rehab or chooses AA but almost everyone has done something to get help. The list includes:

AA
Rehab
therapy/counseling
SMART recovery program
Women for Sobriety
Life Coach
Sober Coach

I'm sure others can add many, many more options. The point is that MOST people need the extra support and very few just "push through" as you said.

silly

It's perfectly normal to feel the way you're feeling, too. The first several weeks can feel very uncomfortable physically, mentally and/or emotionally. Hang in there and don't be afraid to check out your options for help and support!

Bikeguy

Everyone is different when it comes to quitting drinking, the key is to find out what works best for you. Have you tried an AA meeting? Why not give it a try? I don't go to AA but it works for many people. Don't give up.

michelle01

I've sought advice myself from pastors at times. But I would never let one deter me from seeking some of my own support and medical help. I learned the hard way from putting too much faith in one pastor. Having a qualification from Bible Study school doesn't necessarily make them an expert or wise in this area. Sadly, there are some Christians who don't believe in 'secular' treatment for addictions, such as counseling. Your health and treatment for it is your own business.

I'm not intending disrespect, I have Christian beliefs and most of my friends are Christians, I've counted pastors as good friends. But they're not always more understanding or informed than the regular population about these issues, just based on my own experience.

Missy7

I think it couldn't possibly hurt you to go to an AA meeting--just go. And your pastor is right, you might be able to do this on your own, but I think it's much harder. Certainly SR is a place for some kinds of support...but even with that, I long for more help. So to think I could do it on my own...I don't know.

recoverywfaith

Already some good suggestions...welcome to SR.

Mark75

Maybe the pastor doesn't have too much experience with alcoholism.

I see you registered last November and you are still struggling with getting started... Have you tried AA? If not, go to a meeting... closed or open... raise your hand, tell them you are new and that you are struggling... Call your local AA hotline if you would like someone to meet you there, or check out the online schedule for where you live.

Didn't your pastor suggest that? Well, hmm... maybe he did.

Keep coming back, and keep posting!!

Vi0let

Sark -
I am on day 5 now and yes, it is a real bear. Physically i am detoxing, mentally i am detoxing; pretty much detoxing on every other level you can think of.

I joined AA the day i decided to quit. I know for a fact that i'd not have made it this far without it.
My advice it to just push through. This really is a matter of life or death, for all of us. Sooner or later, it always comes down to that.
Don't let it get to the point where you end up trying to kill yourself or in the hospital, which is what happened to me. They say you need to hit your own personal "rock bottom" before the decision to get sober once and for all. And that place is different for all of us.
If you are ready to be sober, you need help. None of us can do this alone.
If not AA, then another organization like the ones Silly listed (a good list).

I wish us both luck, and strength. Hang in there...one minute at a time is how it's been for me. That's all you can do.

sark

Does anyone know the AA hot line number? The pastor did not suggest going to any treatment. He thought maybe I should try on my own with the churches help. I have a feeling that he does not beleive in outside treatment but right now I feel that I cant do it. It is way to hard. I have a lot on my mind and am still grieving my husbands death which was eight months ago. It is too overwhelming.

Mark75

Generally the religious establishment is very supportive of AA...

If you are grieving, maybe some help there... see your primary care physician!! So sorry for your loss...

Just google AA chicago, you should find a meeting list... or call the hotline, they may be able to help out... women's groups, a ride, moral support, buddy to go with you the first time... whatever...

Keep posting.

silly

Are you in Chicago, Sark? Gosh, I'll meet you at a meeting anytime you'd like if that's the case!

Vi0let

I'm in Chicago, too. There are meetings all over the place here!
And you will immediately meet people, as Mark said, who will offer support, which is so vital in the beginning. I know that i'd not have made it to some meetings had i not had people offering rides, etc.

Here is the website for the Chicago chapter: chicagoaa.org


I don't have my own transportation or i'd offer to give you a ride. Right now, i'm going to whatever meetings my new support system helps me get to. If i were you, i'd take Silly up on the offer! It is scary in the beginning...i'm still terrified, lol...but it gets easier every day.

Soberpotamus

Have you considered a group therapy option? If you have insurance, great. If not maybe call the local mental health clinic? Since you're grieving the death of your husband, some extra counseling may be very beneficial.

Don't let a preacher get in the way of you getting the help you need.

sark

Unfortunately I am not in Chicago. I live in Texas. I just moved here so I am not familiar with anything around here. I saw a doctor yesterday but was not satisfied with him. It stinks becuase I have to pay out of pocket right now until my insurance kicks in in August. I had to pick one out of the phone book and hope for the best. First one was a flop. So one to another one.

Soberpotamus

Hang in there... Maybe some AA meetings and a trip to a low cost mental health clinic for the the time being... Then find a good counselor once your insurance kicks in? Just hang in there and take a step at a time. Be easy on yourself emotionally, and just don't take a drink right now

Mark75

Oh, sorry, I got sark and silly confused, LOL..

Anyway... call the AA hotline... they are, literally, there for you... you help them as much as they help you, no kidding, that's how this works...

They will find you a ride and whatever else, within reason, you need... Maybe some of the women at the meeting (try to go to a women's meeting, if you can) will have a good doctor they can recommend..

doggonecarl

Sark, the pastor may mean well, but he may be one of those who thinks alcoholism is a moral issue, one that can be overcome by clean thoughts and willpower. That is poor recovery plan. I've suggested AA in a previous post, and others have done so in this post. Please don't spin your wheels in inactivity. Pick up a phone book, google AA on your computer, take some action. You don't have to suffer through this on your own.

Hang in there.

Anna

I think that support is important, but it's also important to know that you can do this. Many of us have recovered and of course, there is always support here at SR. And, good for you for not sticking with the first dr you found. It's important to find a good fit and to be comfortable with your dr. Hopefully it will pay off in the long run.

PaperDolls

sark -- this link might help you out.
asking for help isn't easy but in my experience it's worth a shot.

Alcoholics Anonymous : Local Resources that provide A.A. Meeting Information