In need of advice and suggestions
 

HI!
I will be 40 this Saturday and I have made a decision to live a sober life. I have tried AA since I was 25, but only staying a few days then drinking again. I have never been a daily drinker, I mostly binge on the weekends that has:ring confused me into thinking I may just be a heavy drinker. I have had some run-ins with the law, but mostly for fighting, when I was younger. This year I made a decision to stop drinking and did an outpatient program at Kaiser. I left feeling so hopeful and ready to live a sober life. I immediately got involved in AA, took on some commitments. Met someone with 3 years and started sleeping with them, they were married. It got weird and I felt guilty so I decided to end it. I went on to get my 60 day chip, got a good sponsor. I slipped 2 days after my 60 day chip, and was back at a meeting the next day. I did another 60 days, and then relapsed, I have been drinking on the weekends ever since. Tuesday morning I decided to give it another try and really man up this time. Not looking for pity, but no assholes either, just straight talk. Day 2 today!

:welcome to SR.

It sounds like you have a plan and that is half the battle. The other half is to apply the principles and steps of AA to your life so you can find and keep sobriety. I encourage you to find a sponsor that will immediately start you on the Steps since they are what take the obsession to drink away. Then start applying them to your life each day. Jump into AA do service work if possible. Service work promotes humility, it makes us accountable, both of which help keep us sober.

Take care, I wish you the best. This could be the time of your success so keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Thank you!
 

From your writing to gods ears

Sorry, if this comes off wrong.
What I mean by this is, I feel I need to man up and not looking for a pity party. by no assholes I mean, I don't need to be critized for sleeping with a married person. Not to brag, but I am a fairly good looking man with a good built who looks 30 not 39, and I get picked up on quite frequently, including at meetings.

Welcome maningup

I got sober at 40- best thing I ever did :)

Not sure from your post - are you still looking at AA? do you have a sponsor?

good to have you with us :)
D

Thanks, what other options would you suggest besides AA? I do have a sponsor but I am thinking of getting one who lives closer to my house. Not sure right now.

Welcome toSR Maningup,
I was lucky to have gone to a ton of meetings for a couple years 23 years ago and still go to some these past 15 months. ( length of sobriety )

SR is my main source of support though. So grateful to have found this place last April.

Glad you're here !

Welcome maningup...I'm not sure what sleeping with a married woman has to do with successful sobriety anyway...choices are made prices are paid.
I have a younger spirit and no where near look my real years either but I am nowhere near ready to even 'look' at another person muchless get into a relationship. One guy in my rehab asked me out but I rejected him for my sobriety. I need that more than a relationship right now. I have become very spiritual and no longer feel the need to fufill any voids with meaningless baggage. I feel that by you concentrating more on what you really want from this journey and applying it to your daily living you can be successful and stay on the right track. There are alot of distractions in life and I have learned to decipher which is beneficial and which is just blah blah blah -for a lack of better words. LOL I wish you great success this time...stay on course, work the program everyday...read something, stay here -but please don't drink.

There's a lot of various ways available maningup.

I used SR - it was enough for me at the point I was - others find face to face support is helpful tho.

Here's some links to some of the main recovery players :)
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

D

When I began working the AA steps..I went from often shakey sobriety into solid recovery..:yup:

Glad you joined us...please do keep posting ..Welcome...:wavey:

The truth of my experience, and the experience of many other alcoholics, is contained in the following quote. Is this true of your own experience? A better question than 'do you have a sponsor' is 'what Step are you on?'
Alcoholics Anonymous..1st. Edition

Advice and suggestions: Stop drinking entirely. Work on the issues underlying why you turned to alcohol even when it was clear to you that it was not helping, but rather harming your agenda for life.

If you cannot stop drinking, entirely, on your own, get help. A support group (online or in real time) there is some pill you can take that makes you ill if you consume alcohol. Get rid of all the alcohol in your home. Tell your friends to NOT offer you booze. Change your route home from work so you don't pass the liquor store. Pay at the pump so you don't go in and buy a beer. Spend an evening here or in a support group meeting so you won't be home alone and tempted to booze up. Get a recovery pal to whom you stay accountable for not drinking. Those things can help.

There are many ways to work on the underlying issues. The first is to recognize they exist, identify some of them and tunnel through. Books, therapy, support groups, online sites etc can all help.

Thanks you, its suggestions like this that I came here for, thanks again!

Few guys are less attractive than a 40 year old alcoholic. (substitute whatever age you want in there)

My husband became a WHOLE lot more attractive to me when he quit.

You could try something new, CBT, SMART, addiction specialist, yoga and meditation. Maybe look at who you are without labels, your soul. AA not the only game in town.
SH

I feel so depressed at work right now, I dont feel like drinking but I just went to the store and purchased a red velvet cupcake and a ding dong. I thought they would make me feel better but they just made me feel like a fat ass. I feel like going home and crawling into my bed and watching tv, i know that would make me feel better. No desire to drink whatsoever.

You are depressed. Remember you are mourning the loss of a good friend. It takes time to get used to not having it in your life anymore.
Usually a big bowl of ice cream helps me! :c011:

That sounds amazing, but the calories? So, this is normal, you think? I am at least able to do my job, well getting by. I hope tomorrow is better.:gaah

Cant wait to get home get in my PJ's, get some ice dream and watch Hoarders or Border Wars....feeling better

10 things to be thankful for
1. I have a bed, a soft comfy one at that
2. I have money to go buy ice cream
3. I have cable and its paid for
4. I dont have the desire to drink
5. I have a car to drive myself home
6. I have a drama free roomate
7. I will see my family Saturday for my Bday
8. I have a job
9. I have my health
10. You are reading this