Reached my rock bottom - Day 1
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 32
Reached my rock bottom - Day 1
I have joined this forum only few days back. After 11 years of alcohol abuse, I am convinced that I am alcoholic and I have no control over alcohol.
I feel that I reached my rock bottom 2 days back...No, I did not loose my job,, No , my wife did not leave me,, no, I did not get bankrupt,,, but I did some stupid thing which made me look like crazy and disgusting. I would have never done this in my wildest dream.. This was worst than loosing everything my life becasue I lost respect & trust of people who admired me through out my life
I felt so bad and powerless.. I felt like going and getting drunk to the worst level possible..But some thing differnet happened.
Till now , I thought, I am in control of everything but while looking at Sun-set , suddenly I felt, I am not in control of anything. There is some God Power, who is in control. I must leave everything to him and pray to him to give me courage not to drink at this moment becuase I may repeat my stupid behaviour after 8-10 drinks....I prayed and he answered.. I passed the Bar and did not go in.. Went home and did not open Rum bottle.. Instead , I had dinner.. Did not sleep almost full night.. But the night did pass and Hurrray, I had my 1st sober day in last 11 years....
With the help & support from this forum , I want to continue to be sober. I do not want single drop that poison called cunning alcohol in my body . Looking forward to support from all of you.
Newborn ( 1st day sober on 5th July 2011 )
I feel that I reached my rock bottom 2 days back...No, I did not loose my job,, No , my wife did not leave me,, no, I did not get bankrupt,,, but I did some stupid thing which made me look like crazy and disgusting. I would have never done this in my wildest dream.. This was worst than loosing everything my life becasue I lost respect & trust of people who admired me through out my life
I felt so bad and powerless.. I felt like going and getting drunk to the worst level possible..But some thing differnet happened.
Till now , I thought, I am in control of everything but while looking at Sun-set , suddenly I felt, I am not in control of anything. There is some God Power, who is in control. I must leave everything to him and pray to him to give me courage not to drink at this moment becuase I may repeat my stupid behaviour after 8-10 drinks....I prayed and he answered.. I passed the Bar and did not go in.. Went home and did not open Rum bottle.. Instead , I had dinner.. Did not sleep almost full night.. But the night did pass and Hurrray, I had my 1st sober day in last 11 years....
With the help & support from this forum , I want to continue to be sober. I do not want single drop that poison called cunning alcohol in my body . Looking forward to support from all of you.
Newborn ( 1st day sober on 5th July 2011 )
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
Welcome to SR....and Welcome to your new life!!! 
Alcohol is very cunning....plays so many tricks with your mind....stay strong...and do what you have to do in order not to have that drink...!!! easier said than done somedays...I know...surrender...pray...and move forward!!!
Best wishes on your journey...
Alcohol is very cunning....plays so many tricks with your mind....stay strong...and do what you have to do in order not to have that drink...!!! easier said than done somedays...I know...surrender...pray...and move forward!!!
Best wishes on your journey...
to SR.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 32
Day 2 for me too...Support from this website has kept me going till now....Managed to sleep last night for few hours....
Worried about the weekend as a very close Family friends have invited for dinner.They are social drinkers. We have spent many evenings, drinking and enjoying dinner. I used to control myself till the dinner was over . They do not know that I am alcoholic as I behaved well during the evening and after the dinner, I would go home and had to finish my quota of drinks. Same thing, when we invite them for dinner at our home. I had to finish my quota of drinks , after they left.
I know that I if pick up couple of drinks during evening with them,at coming weekend, I would get drunk after I go home. I need to refuse the 1st drink politely without sounding that I have been having problem with alcohol. Any advise, Will help me a lot.
Worried about the weekend as a very close Family friends have invited for dinner.They are social drinkers. We have spent many evenings, drinking and enjoying dinner. I used to control myself till the dinner was over . They do not know that I am alcoholic as I behaved well during the evening and after the dinner, I would go home and had to finish my quota of drinks. Same thing, when we invite them for dinner at our home. I had to finish my quota of drinks , after they left.
I know that I if pick up couple of drinks during evening with them,at coming weekend, I would get drunk after I go home. I need to refuse the 1st drink politely without sounding that I have been having problem with alcohol. Any advise, Will help me a lot.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
Newborn, face the prospect of a new and better life with a positive outlook. I won't lie to you early recovery is a tough road to travel, a doctor can help you with meds if needed. This site is great for support and there are many other face to face programs if you need that. Just remember that yesterday is just another page in the history books, but the future is an unwritten novel, you are the author... so make it good!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 32
backtosquareone,, I like your quote " Just remember that yesterday is just another page in the history books, but the future is an unwritten novel, you are the author... so make it good!! Thank you so much as I can relate to it very well.. My history book is full of **** but I want to make unwritten novel ,full of happiness,gratitiude,love, peace and satisfaction..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 32
Went through day 2... Alcohol is still lurking and playing all sorts of tricks on my mind. Trying to keep these thoughts in mind,
1. Alcohol is devastation . Life is good without devastation as alcohol does not do anything good. Alcohol is poison.
2. I am not giving up anything. I am stopping to poison my body and mind.
3. Alcohol is enemy. I should not mourn the loss of enemy
Praying Higher Power to give me courage to go through another day.
1. Alcohol is devastation . Life is good without devastation as alcohol does not do anything good. Alcohol is poison.
2. I am not giving up anything. I am stopping to poison my body and mind.
3. Alcohol is enemy. I should not mourn the loss of enemy
Praying Higher Power to give me courage to go through another day.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 274
Welcome to SR Newborn, Glad you found us..
I think that early sobriety requires lots of changes. I take that back, I know it requires lots of changes, stopping drinking is only the beginning.
The things I did early on to take my mind off things is, go for a walk, go to a movie, go to a AA meeting, heck one time at a AA meeting they needed volunteers to make sandwiches for the homeless on the weekends in the winter months. Wow I had fun doing that all winter and it took a lot of that free time I had on the weekends.
There are fabulous folks here ready to help you, don't be afraid to ask. Good luck in your journey...
I think that early sobriety requires lots of changes. I take that back, I know it requires lots of changes, stopping drinking is only the beginning.
The things I did early on to take my mind off things is, go for a walk, go to a movie, go to a AA meeting, heck one time at a AA meeting they needed volunteers to make sandwiches for the homeless on the weekends in the winter months. Wow I had fun doing that all winter and it took a lot of that free time I had on the weekends.
There are fabulous folks here ready to help you, don't be afraid to ask. Good luck in your journey...
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