Hello... again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Down Under
Posts: 46
Hello... again.
So, I was here for my first time exactly this time one year ago.
I did 30 days without alcohol, had two glasses, did another 34 days (during which time I didn't visit here because for some inexplicable reason I figured that visiting the site was just making me think about alcohol more) and then went right back to drinking, since I had proved to myself twice that I could go 30 days without drinking.
Since then I have been 'moderating'. I have two, three or four alcohol-free days every week. At the moment, I guess I am probably some people might regard as a moderating 'success story'. I drink less than 14 units of alcohol (wine) a week. However, seven of those could be on one night. Which is not moderating. It's just the same problem I always had, binge-drinking, just less frequently.
I'm just over it now. I'm sick of counting glasses, and truth be told, the more I read about alcohol, the more it seems insane that anyone drinks it, ever. The social acceptability of it blows me away. Increasingly I look at it with the same bewilderment I would feel if a line or two of cocaine was regarded as an acceptable way to blow off steam at the end of a hard day, or if weddings had an open buffet of drugs, rather than an open bar. In a contradiction that I'm sure is not unfamiliar to anyone here, that doesn't stop me from feeling like I want just one nice glass of wine at dinner or with a friend after work.
My partner does not think I have a drinking problem as I do not drink to blackout, I do not behave badly, I do not drive drunk, and I am successfully self-employed. And these days I don't even drink excessively by medical or social standards (of our peer group). He knows that I don't always enjoy drinking, and that I feel it exacerbates anxiety for me. He also knows I'm quitting completely but I don't think he totally 'gets' why I find alcohol problematic, because he is one of those normal types who has one beer after work and actually does not want another. We're planning to try for a baby soon, so I'm happy for him to regard my quit decision as part of preparations for that, if it makes it easier for him to support.
I'm on day two, and what the last year has taught me - and coming back and reading so many new threads, and seeing so few old ones - that accountability is important. So I'll be back on a daily or near-daily basis.
I did 30 days without alcohol, had two glasses, did another 34 days (during which time I didn't visit here because for some inexplicable reason I figured that visiting the site was just making me think about alcohol more) and then went right back to drinking, since I had proved to myself twice that I could go 30 days without drinking.
Since then I have been 'moderating'. I have two, three or four alcohol-free days every week. At the moment, I guess I am probably some people might regard as a moderating 'success story'. I drink less than 14 units of alcohol (wine) a week. However, seven of those could be on one night. Which is not moderating. It's just the same problem I always had, binge-drinking, just less frequently.
I'm just over it now. I'm sick of counting glasses, and truth be told, the more I read about alcohol, the more it seems insane that anyone drinks it, ever. The social acceptability of it blows me away. Increasingly I look at it with the same bewilderment I would feel if a line or two of cocaine was regarded as an acceptable way to blow off steam at the end of a hard day, or if weddings had an open buffet of drugs, rather than an open bar. In a contradiction that I'm sure is not unfamiliar to anyone here, that doesn't stop me from feeling like I want just one nice glass of wine at dinner or with a friend after work.
My partner does not think I have a drinking problem as I do not drink to blackout, I do not behave badly, I do not drive drunk, and I am successfully self-employed. And these days I don't even drink excessively by medical or social standards (of our peer group). He knows that I don't always enjoy drinking, and that I feel it exacerbates anxiety for me. He also knows I'm quitting completely but I don't think he totally 'gets' why I find alcohol problematic, because he is one of those normal types who has one beer after work and actually does not want another. We're planning to try for a baby soon, so I'm happy for him to regard my quit decision as part of preparations for that, if it makes it easier for him to support.
I'm on day two, and what the last year has taught me - and coming back and reading so many new threads, and seeing so few old ones - that accountability is important. So I'll be back on a daily or near-daily basis.
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 400
Originally Posted by Larkspur 
My partner does not think I have a drinking problem as I do not drink to blackout, I do not behave badly, I do not drive drunk, and I am successfully self-employed. And these days I don't even drink excessively by medical or social standards (of our peer group). He knows that I don't always enjoy drinking, and that I feel it exacerbates anxiety for me. He also knows I'm quitting completely but I don't think he totally 'gets' why I find alcohol problematic, because he is one of those normal types who has one beer after work and actually does not want another.
Welcome back, Larkspur! I can completely relate to this. My husband doesn't think I have a problem either and doesn't get why I'm quitting. But on a positive note, he's completely supportive because he can see that the battle is driving me nuts.
I've tried moderation too and it always leads to too many nights of drinking and the whole obsessive thought pattern. I have also been reading more about the effects of alcohol on the body; dangerous stuff.
Anyway, welcome and best wishes to you!
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