I did it!!! And no craving!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Waynesville, Ohio
Posts: 61
I did it!!! And no craving!
Good morning to my SR peeps!
Today is the beginning of my wonderful day 8!!! Just want to let give everyone an update on my recovery so far!
Still NO physical withdrawl...headache is gone for the most part, but still more sleepy than usual. BUT, when I do sleep, it's no longer being passed out or waking up drenched in sweat! This is where it gets weird...I just don't think about it (alcohol). Maybe it's that I just don't want that life anymore SOOO BADLY that it is easy for me!?? I don't know...I have become more obsessed over NOT having withdrawl and NOT having cravings than WANTING to drink...does this make sense??? If I had known this, I would have gotten sober a long time ago! I was TERRIFIED of getting sober because of the cravings and withdrawl that I just kept drinking! WOW, what a blessing I have been given...and hope it continues!!
Anywho...I chose this past week to get sober as my Hubby was home on vacation...I rarely drank in front of him and always tried to hide it from him, so I figured it would be easier for me with him home...he is my biggest supporter in my quest for sobriety. It was a great week! Really enjoyed the time together and we had alot of great time together! And I remember it ALL! Yesterday would of been a HUGE day of drinking...we went to our friends house for lunch...my hubby,friend and I would usually have gotten a 12 pk and shared it. Guess what? Hubby bought the 12 (after asking repeatedly if I was ok and if I was sure about it) and I watched the two of them drink about half of it with absolutely NO craving!!! I instead enjoyed the company and conversation of my friend! No second thought! THEN we went home and picked up my 2 oldest sons and headed to the Comedy Club for their belated birthday celebration....another drinking op. Guess what? I really enjoyed ordering my 2 cokes while the three of them enjoyed their bucket of 6 beers!!! AND NO REGRETS, CRAVINGS, or DEPRESSING THOUGHTS!!! I cannot believe how good I feel! Is this normal or am I in for a letdown? I wake up every day and all I tell myself is that I don't drink...and that's it...I DON'T DRINK.
I did it!!! I got thru what would usually had been a horrible day of hell without giving it a second thought...why?
I DON'T DRINK....PERIOD...
Sorry so long...just feeling on top of the world!
Missducky
Today is the beginning of my wonderful day 8!!! Just want to let give everyone an update on my recovery so far!
Still NO physical withdrawl...headache is gone for the most part, but still more sleepy than usual. BUT, when I do sleep, it's no longer being passed out or waking up drenched in sweat! This is where it gets weird...I just don't think about it (alcohol). Maybe it's that I just don't want that life anymore SOOO BADLY that it is easy for me!?? I don't know...I have become more obsessed over NOT having withdrawl and NOT having cravings than WANTING to drink...does this make sense??? If I had known this, I would have gotten sober a long time ago! I was TERRIFIED of getting sober because of the cravings and withdrawl that I just kept drinking! WOW, what a blessing I have been given...and hope it continues!!
Anywho...I chose this past week to get sober as my Hubby was home on vacation...I rarely drank in front of him and always tried to hide it from him, so I figured it would be easier for me with him home...he is my biggest supporter in my quest for sobriety. It was a great week! Really enjoyed the time together and we had alot of great time together! And I remember it ALL! Yesterday would of been a HUGE day of drinking...we went to our friends house for lunch...my hubby,friend and I would usually have gotten a 12 pk and shared it. Guess what? Hubby bought the 12 (after asking repeatedly if I was ok and if I was sure about it) and I watched the two of them drink about half of it with absolutely NO craving!!! I instead enjoyed the company and conversation of my friend! No second thought! THEN we went home and picked up my 2 oldest sons and headed to the Comedy Club for their belated birthday celebration....another drinking op. Guess what? I really enjoyed ordering my 2 cokes while the three of them enjoyed their bucket of 6 beers!!! AND NO REGRETS, CRAVINGS, or DEPRESSING THOUGHTS!!! I cannot believe how good I feel! Is this normal or am I in for a letdown? I wake up every day and all I tell myself is that I don't drink...and that's it...I DON'T DRINK.
I did it!!! I got thru what would usually had been a horrible day of hell without giving it a second thought...why?
I DON'T DRINK....PERIOD...
Sorry so long...just feeling on top of the world!
Missducky
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Well done Missducky. I had a very intense experience of thinking about "not drinking" that is slowly fading. It was so intense the only relief I really got was when I slept. I think the "obsession" with not drinking is the mirror image of the desire for alcohol. Why don't you join us on the June 2011 daily support thread?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi MissDucky,
I'm glad things are going so well!
When I finally knew that drinking was no longer an option, my mind began to work in different ways and I was able to cope with life's ups and downs without alcohol. I think that might be what you're experiencing - a complete acceptance of the addiction and then moving on.
I'm glad things are going so well!
When I finally knew that drinking was no longer an option, my mind began to work in different ways and I was able to cope with life's ups and downs without alcohol. I think that might be what you're experiencing - a complete acceptance of the addiction and then moving on.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Missducky,
Be glad for that! I am tickled for you. I flipped the same switch in my head and have had no heavy cravings as many describe the experience. I have had many other disturbing PAWS that lasted for several months. ( Sleep issues, digestive, jittery energy, dry skin and itching thus my name here) But let's acknowledge that I was drinking 20 to 30 units of alcohol a day, AND smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day, sometimes 4, a really disgusting chain smoker. So it must have been quite a physical shock to my system and some perhaps even all of those symptoms may be tobacco related. I had to quit twice in the last ten years for knee surgeries because of taking a blood thinner to prevent post surgical clots. But I still smoked and I had no real withdrawal just drank lots of water and any symptoms however mild I attributed to the coumadin. Thus my guess that the weird PAWS I had and am still having is as much if not more related to the tobacco withdrawals as I smoked many more years than I abused alcohol. I am in my later 50's and a gramps to three as well. I am retired by choice but will soon get back to something to keep active again. My point being that there are those of us who aren't having cravings that are overwhelming. Mine were just muscle memory. Like reaching for a drink or a puff from my wife's drink or smoke before remembering I don't drink or smoke anymore silly!
So don't feel alone or like the other shoe is going to drop. As long as you are committed to never having any drink again, never aspiring to be the "normal in control drinker that we can never be, then I beleive you are going to make it just fine. If you have any issues just come here. I did and it worked.
I did not, do not, and never will feel like I am missing something or have lost something, and I bet you understand me completely. I have been set free by my own hand. Would a slave who endured slavery and ran away to freedom and respect ever consider going back to the plantation because there it was a comfort to not endure the trials of arranging their own lives? I bet there were some, like Stockholm Syndrome, that could not bring to themselves the courage to leave. But I doubt one would have run back to the master that enslaved them once free.
That is how I feel about sobriety. Nothing will ever entice me to drink alcohol or smoke again. Life can throw me curves and like I did before drinking, during, and now I will handle them. I honestly don't think I drank because of problems or esteem. I drank because I could, and slipped into the addiction from using it as a reward and toast to my good life. Had I kept on maybe I would have had issues like many have had. But I decided to become a non-drinker and non-smoker now.
For a while, I thought that being a non-smoker and non-drinker would never be possible for me. I empathize with those who feel they suffered a loss of drinking. I felt drinking made me suffer a loss of my sobriety. I took it back by force and will never surrensder it. Because I don't have to.
Congrats on your week and day. Don't talk yourself into more problems than actually occur for your recovery. I have nine months and some days now, and will now not allow myself to even think about reasons why I can drink again because I have deceived myself into thinking I can control myself now. For me that is all relapse is. Deceiving myself that I want to drink again and start the whole cycle over again. Maybe the difference is that I never used alcohol as a way to run away from problems or myself. I don't know because I never walked that path.
I just rarely get to tell another that understands flipping that switch, that some others feel the same. Maybe we're some kind of exception to others, but normal for us.
Whatever works for each of us.
Be glad for that! I am tickled for you. I flipped the same switch in my head and have had no heavy cravings as many describe the experience. I have had many other disturbing PAWS that lasted for several months. ( Sleep issues, digestive, jittery energy, dry skin and itching thus my name here) But let's acknowledge that I was drinking 20 to 30 units of alcohol a day, AND smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day, sometimes 4, a really disgusting chain smoker. So it must have been quite a physical shock to my system and some perhaps even all of those symptoms may be tobacco related. I had to quit twice in the last ten years for knee surgeries because of taking a blood thinner to prevent post surgical clots. But I still smoked and I had no real withdrawal just drank lots of water and any symptoms however mild I attributed to the coumadin. Thus my guess that the weird PAWS I had and am still having is as much if not more related to the tobacco withdrawals as I smoked many more years than I abused alcohol. I am in my later 50's and a gramps to three as well. I am retired by choice but will soon get back to something to keep active again. My point being that there are those of us who aren't having cravings that are overwhelming. Mine were just muscle memory. Like reaching for a drink or a puff from my wife's drink or smoke before remembering I don't drink or smoke anymore silly!
So don't feel alone or like the other shoe is going to drop. As long as you are committed to never having any drink again, never aspiring to be the "normal in control drinker that we can never be, then I beleive you are going to make it just fine. If you have any issues just come here. I did and it worked.
I did not, do not, and never will feel like I am missing something or have lost something, and I bet you understand me completely. I have been set free by my own hand. Would a slave who endured slavery and ran away to freedom and respect ever consider going back to the plantation because there it was a comfort to not endure the trials of arranging their own lives? I bet there were some, like Stockholm Syndrome, that could not bring to themselves the courage to leave. But I doubt one would have run back to the master that enslaved them once free.
That is how I feel about sobriety. Nothing will ever entice me to drink alcohol or smoke again. Life can throw me curves and like I did before drinking, during, and now I will handle them. I honestly don't think I drank because of problems or esteem. I drank because I could, and slipped into the addiction from using it as a reward and toast to my good life. Had I kept on maybe I would have had issues like many have had. But I decided to become a non-drinker and non-smoker now.
For a while, I thought that being a non-smoker and non-drinker would never be possible for me. I empathize with those who feel they suffered a loss of drinking. I felt drinking made me suffer a loss of my sobriety. I took it back by force and will never surrensder it. Because I don't have to.
Congrats on your week and day. Don't talk yourself into more problems than actually occur for your recovery. I have nine months and some days now, and will now not allow myself to even think about reasons why I can drink again because I have deceived myself into thinking I can control myself now. For me that is all relapse is. Deceiving myself that I want to drink again and start the whole cycle over again. Maybe the difference is that I never used alcohol as a way to run away from problems or myself. I don't know because I never walked that path.
I just rarely get to tell another that understands flipping that switch, that some others feel the same. Maybe we're some kind of exception to others, but normal for us.
Whatever works for each of us.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Oh I forgot the real similarity between us. My Significant Harassment of 39 years is a normal drinker and moderate smoker. There has been a half gallon of scotch and a carton of cigarettes in the house the whole time. My SH smokes and drinks her two drinks a night in front of me. However she smokes under the kitchen vent hood or outside now. I don't even think about them as you see from this post. I am alone all the time with them, and am not interested any more than a person who never smoked would obsess over the carton of cigarettes just because it is there. And yes I did like scotch when I was a drinker. Like you I am fine being a non-smoker and non-drinker. I don't preach to others as I know that never worked on me, nor would I want to. We sit on the deck across from each other outside and the smoke drifts my way sometimes. Second hand smoke issues? No way! I had three packs a day of first hand smoke for decades. Besides doing that would be the same as someone interrupting our drinking and telling us we would become alcoholics long before we got out of control, just because they had to quit. Live and let live. If someone has a problem they can either solve it themselves or ask for help. But otherwise it is none of my business, openly or covertly.
Anyway thanks again for posting. I was beginning to feel like the lone stranger having it so easy because of that switch being flipped too.
Anyway thanks again for posting. I was beginning to feel like the lone stranger having it so easy because of that switch being flipped too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Waynesville, Ohio
Posts: 61
Itchy...THANK YOU! I was the one who was feeling alone!!! I just thought I was dreaming or completely crazy!! Anyhow, my next step is to also give up the smokes. How did you do it? Did you give them up the same time as the booze? Any advise you could give me would be wonderful!!!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
You are welcome!
I wish there was someone to tell me that at first too.
I was going into the hospital for a 7 day detox and I figured why waste a perfectly good detox on only one of the drugs I was addicted to. So I decided it was time to quit smoking too, finally. I didn't then, nor now, want to wean off my other two drugs of choice, coffee and chocolate. They put me on the patches in hospital and nine months later I haven't had one smoke. They keep trying but still can't find anything wrong with coffee.
Now for the fine print. Lean in cause this is a secret. My doc prescribes the patches even though they are available over the counter because my insurance picks up the tab. I stayed on the 21 mg for three months, the 14 mg for 4 months and am on my last two months of 7 mg now. I was taking no chances. So technically I am still getting nicotine. In two months I"ll keep one box in case, but I have already forgotten to put one on twice and didn't realize that was why I was snacking a bit more that day. Lots of folks quit cold turkey. I failed that too. But even though I am still using the patches, at this point I know I am over it. I also used cinnamon sticks as a Pacifier for a few days when I first got out of detox to have something to do with my hands.
I made it and in the end that is all that counts. And I will have no cravings for them either strong enough for me to give in, ever.
Can you tell I detest both of my nasty ex habits? And feel the fool for paying so much for the privilige? BTW, I wasn't the smoker. The cigarette did all the smoking. I was just the sucker!
I wish there was someone to tell me that at first too.
I was going into the hospital for a 7 day detox and I figured why waste a perfectly good detox on only one of the drugs I was addicted to. So I decided it was time to quit smoking too, finally. I didn't then, nor now, want to wean off my other two drugs of choice, coffee and chocolate. They put me on the patches in hospital and nine months later I haven't had one smoke. They keep trying but still can't find anything wrong with coffee.
Now for the fine print. Lean in cause this is a secret. My doc prescribes the patches even though they are available over the counter because my insurance picks up the tab. I stayed on the 21 mg for three months, the 14 mg for 4 months and am on my last two months of 7 mg now. I was taking no chances. So technically I am still getting nicotine. In two months I"ll keep one box in case, but I have already forgotten to put one on twice and didn't realize that was why I was snacking a bit more that day. Lots of folks quit cold turkey. I failed that too. But even though I am still using the patches, at this point I know I am over it. I also used cinnamon sticks as a Pacifier for a few days when I first got out of detox to have something to do with my hands.
I made it and in the end that is all that counts. And I will have no cravings for them either strong enough for me to give in, ever.
Can you tell I detest both of my nasty ex habits? And feel the fool for paying so much for the privilige? BTW, I wasn't the smoker. The cigarette did all the smoking. I was just the sucker!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Waynesville, Ohio
Posts: 61
Thanks again! I unfortunately have no detox to go to, so I'm gonna have to just do it.....I don't know...the smoking I'm havin trouble with! THAT I would miss! At least that's where I am right now! I think I'm gonna finish the pack I have and just stop. Maybe.......I'll keep ya posted!!
Missducky
Missducky
Grateful AA member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In the middle of the woods, NJ
Posts: 567
Congratulations!! Your story struck me bc you were afraid to stop bc of physical withdrawals me too. I have been drinking like everyday for the past month sometimes like four beers, three beers sometimes more and after reading all the withdrawal symptoms I'm scared that Ill have a seizure or something. I'm afraid of the shakes coming I would just cut it out if I knew that wouldn't happen bc I actually enjoy being sober like I am right now. I do have some anxiety right now but that's from thinking and worrying about stuff which leads me to drink in the first place. I don't know too many people who just stared making it a daily habit bc even when I went to an AA meeting they were all drinking for years. Sorry to post about me but you sounded similar to me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Waynesville, Ohio
Posts: 61
Innerchild-Another one!! Yea!! It feels WONDERFUL to be sober, but I just kept thinking the withdrawls were lurking just waiting to pounce...maybe they are, but I'm gonna enjoy every second of this! I personally have dealt with alcohol for the 5 yrs since my Mother passed, but the last 2...oh man! I was drinking at least 6 days a week, beginning at 6:30 in the morning (when hubby left for work) and drank 12-30 beers followed by 1-2 bottles of vodka. And I have NO physical withdrawl symptoms!!! I am so thankful....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
congrats. alcohol is not your friend.
it's like a very pretentious person who is great on the outside, but will stab in you the back at the first opportunity. with alcohol this "stab" is very real and can be very fatal.
it's like a very pretentious person who is great on the outside, but will stab in you the back at the first opportunity. with alcohol this "stab" is very real and can be very fatal.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by missducky 
Good morning to my SR peeps!
Today is the beginning of my wonderful day 8!!! Just want to let give everyone an update on my recovery so far!
Still NO physical withdrawl...headache is gone for the most part, but still more sleepy than usual. BUT, when I do sleep, it's no longer being passed out or waking up drenched in sweat! This is where it gets weird...I just don't think about it (alcohol). Maybe it's that I just don't want that life anymore SOOO BADLY that it is easy for me!?? I don't know...I have become more obsessed over NOT having withdrawl and NOT having cravings than WANTING to drink...does this make sense??? If I had known this, I would have gotten sober a long time ago! I was TERRIFIED of getting sober because of the cravings and withdrawl that I just kept drinking! WOW, what a blessing I have been given...and hope it continues!!
Anywho...I chose this past week to get sober as my Hubby was home on vacation...I rarely drank in front of him and always tried to hide it from him, so I figured it would be easier for me with him home...he is my biggest supporter in my quest for sobriety. It was a great week! Really enjoyed the time together and we had alot of great time together! And I remember it ALL! Yesterday would of been a HUGE day of drinking...we went to our friends house for lunch...my hubby,friend and I would usually have gotten a 12 pk and shared it. Guess what? Hubby bought the 12 (after asking repeatedly if I was ok and if I was sure about it) and I watched the two of them drink about half of it with absolutely NO craving!!! I instead enjoyed the company and conversation of my friend! No second thought! THEN we went home and picked up my 2 oldest sons and headed to the Comedy Club for their belated birthday celebration....another drinking op. Guess what? I really enjoyed ordering my 2 cokes while the three of them enjoyed their bucket of 6 beers!!! AND NO REGRETS, CRAVINGS, or DEPRESSING THOUGHTS!!! I cannot believe how good I feel! Is this normal or am I in for a letdown? I wake up every day and all I tell myself is that I don't drink...and that's it...I DON'T DRINK.
I did it!!! I got thru what would usually had been a horrible day of hell without giving it a second thought...why?
I DON'T DRINK....PERIOD...
Sorry so long...just feeling on top of the world!
Missducky
Today is the beginning of my wonderful day 8!!! Just want to let give everyone an update on my recovery so far!
Still NO physical withdrawl...headache is gone for the most part, but still more sleepy than usual. BUT, when I do sleep, it's no longer being passed out or waking up drenched in sweat! This is where it gets weird...I just don't think about it (alcohol). Maybe it's that I just don't want that life anymore SOOO BADLY that it is easy for me!?? I don't know...I have become more obsessed over NOT having withdrawl and NOT having cravings than WANTING to drink...does this make sense??? If I had known this, I would have gotten sober a long time ago! I was TERRIFIED of getting sober because of the cravings and withdrawl that I just kept drinking! WOW, what a blessing I have been given...and hope it continues!!
Anywho...I chose this past week to get sober as my Hubby was home on vacation...I rarely drank in front of him and always tried to hide it from him, so I figured it would be easier for me with him home...he is my biggest supporter in my quest for sobriety. It was a great week! Really enjoyed the time together and we had alot of great time together! And I remember it ALL! Yesterday would of been a HUGE day of drinking...we went to our friends house for lunch...my hubby,friend and I would usually have gotten a 12 pk and shared it. Guess what? Hubby bought the 12 (after asking repeatedly if I was ok and if I was sure about it) and I watched the two of them drink about half of it with absolutely NO craving!!! I instead enjoyed the company and conversation of my friend! No second thought! THEN we went home and picked up my 2 oldest sons and headed to the Comedy Club for their belated birthday celebration....another drinking op. Guess what? I really enjoyed ordering my 2 cokes while the three of them enjoyed their bucket of 6 beers!!! AND NO REGRETS, CRAVINGS, or DEPRESSING THOUGHTS!!! I cannot believe how good I feel! Is this normal or am I in for a letdown? I wake up every day and all I tell myself is that I don't drink...and that's it...I DON'T DRINK.
I did it!!! I got thru what would usually had been a horrible day of hell without giving it a second thought...why?
I DON'T DRINK....PERIOD...
Sorry so long...just feeling on top of the world!
Missducky
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Miss ducky,
I would wait since you didn't do them together or if you decide to try the patches now make sure that you don't stress yourself out over the tobacco. Most people do them separately, but then again you aren't most people. Give yourself a little time before smokes would be my advice. It's the old bird in the hand worth two in the bush situation. That was my thinking in that I am still using the patches.. My sobriety is in hand, and I am a non-drinker now. I am also a non-smoker completing muy last two moths of therapy per docs orders. BTW my doc loves it too as I blame him for a part of it along with SR, AA, my wonderful SH, and then folks daily here like you, that keep the energy going.
The longer I am sober the more humbled I am at this resource and wonderful people that helped me along this path. The only thing I can do is try to pay it forward as you are already doing too!
I would wait since you didn't do them together or if you decide to try the patches now make sure that you don't stress yourself out over the tobacco. Most people do them separately, but then again you aren't most people. Give yourself a little time before smokes would be my advice. It's the old bird in the hand worth two in the bush situation. That was my thinking in that I am still using the patches.. My sobriety is in hand, and I am a non-drinker now. I am also a non-smoker completing muy last two moths of therapy per docs orders. BTW my doc loves it too as I blame him for a part of it along with SR, AA, my wonderful SH, and then folks daily here like you, that keep the energy going.
The longer I am sober the more humbled I am at this resource and wonderful people that helped me along this path. The only thing I can do is try to pay it forward as you are already doing too!
That's really wonderful!
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
That is fantastic good for you and enjoy all of what you feel
And if you have any extra please send some my way
I am on day 14 foin well I waent the AA route and trying hard , but this weekend was tough but so far so good. I just have to not drink today.
Have a beautiful 4th
And if you have any extra please send some my way
I am on day 14 foin well I waent the AA route and trying hard , but this weekend was tough but so far so good. I just have to not drink today.Have a beautiful 4th
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
