Starting My Recovery & Relapse Prevention Plan... and Boyfriend Was Made Aware
 

So today I finished reading the book Staying Sober: A Guide For Relapse Prevention. I discussed with my boyfriend the things I learned in it... and how recovery only begins after you stop drinking. Quitting drinking is only the first step. And that there's so much work to be done.

I'm going to set up an appt. with a therapist for individual counseling & group counseling... and I'm finally going to my first face-to-face Women For Sobriety meeting next Thursday (if I don't chicken out again).

I explained to him that he's involved in my addiction and affected by it just by virtue of being in a relationship with me. And now that I'm sober doesn't mean everything is going to be perfect... far from it. That I'd like for him to come to some of the individual counseling sessions with me, so that the counselor can help him understand how he can help me with the relapse prevention plan that I want to establish. And that my sobriety-based PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome) symptoms don't mean I'm nuts or an evil b****... but that they are just a by-product of my alcohol addiction for the past 15 yrs of my life (since around age 19-20 I'd say).

My boyfriend is 100% supportive as far as I can tell. I told him he may be in for some s*** for a while... and he's aware of it. I told him he's free to go at any time if it gets to be too much for him, and that I would understand. And I explained he might ought to get in the mindset of being like a rubber band... able to bend and give with the pressure. Cause I know I can be handful :(

Glad to hear he is being supportive of your decision to pursue a life in sobriety!

Good luck Jennie,you seem confident in your approach to Recovery,Get loads of Meetings.Stick with the winners,your life will change for the Better.

Bravo, Jennie, bravo!

Glad to hear things are going well.

If including him doesn't help don't be afraid to switch courses. I personally have had a hard time finding a good balance of including my husband in my recovery and completely excluding him from it with the mindset of "he's done enough already by sticking with me so far". Sometimes it was like the elephant in the room.

We alcoholics are notoriously self-centered so I am wary of making our relationship all about My Recovery just the way it was dominated by my drinking.

I continue to find it uncomfortable at times (almost a year sober).

The oddest thing happened to me.....the man I found so interesting and attractive for the last 5 years of my drinking...no longer apealed to me in recovery.

Yes he supported my AA efforts...no longer brought alcohol in my apartment however....our goals no longer meshed....we slowly stopped being a couple
The end came when I was about 1 year sober...I was living a lifestyle ..he was not interested in following.

He survived....I've thrived and have warm memories of our time together....:yup:

Carol, I can see that may be a likely outcome in my case. He and I have only dated since the end of Feb. He isn't a drinker and he's been a very good influence but we do have some things about one another we aren't crazy about... Oh well. I'm not going to be devastated. I'm open to whatever happens and it's nice to hear myself thinking so :)

SSIL, sure and I'm aware of that self-centeredness... Believe me :) however, I just needed him to be aware of my thought and plans. To find out if he was still on board.

My husband tells me I can drink but only with him so he can "monitor" my drinking...haha

That's not too supportive...so when he mentions drinking, which is close to never because he works 60hrs a week and we have 2kids I just say, "Nah, it's too expensive right?", and he goes along with it. He's a normie.

Clean since 6/3/11!

Everything sounds well Jennie , I glad you read and thought things through:)

Also you were open and straight foward with your boyfriend , what is meant to be will be , just take care of you first your the one you been neglecting alll those years. I sure did the same thing.

So even though I starting with nothing and nobody now thats all ok I am even glad this way all my focus is getting better so I can help others get better. We can stay alive a little longer and enjoy the ride togather:grouphug:


I hope you go through the door to that suppport group you'll be glad you did I think:)

Peace, Dylan

Hi Dylan, yeah I can see how going through the tough part without anyone else could be a benefit. It's going to require a little bit more "maneuvering" and patience on my part dealing with my boyfriend throughout my recovery. It might be a good thing I'm not alone... it would definitely be easier for me to go it alone. I'd probably prefer that, to be honest. But dealing with his feelings and considering him will actually force me to have to think of someone besides myself. So, in that way it's probably a good thing for me. And a chance to grow...

I sure will let you know if I go to that meeting! I'm psyching myself up for it... it's every Thursday :)