Need support - Major Trigger approaching
 

Hi guys, I might as well go ahead now and put out my SOS. I'm about to help my bf mow a football sized field of grass. We did this two weeks ago when I was still drinking. Sadly, the drinking was my goal, incentive, reward after all that work. The money is nice too... But, I do not care about money right now typing from this iPhone as I'm gazing out across that huge field. It's super hot here in July in Alabama. I am really super disgusted at the prospect of not much of a reward today. Plus bf and I have bickered and he and I aren't rock steady in our relationship at the moment... Given a bit of an eye opening with me being sober the past 4 days. Help. I'm feeling a bit suffocated at this moment. Maybe even panic?? :(

:ringSoberJennie, you made the first step in a good way just by coming on SR, try to relax and take deep breaths:)

I know its hard to think in the future but your reward could be huge if you do the grass and wake up sober tomorrow I bet you'll feel a great sense of pride. Its hard I know but just keep telling yourself or pray whatever it takes to say I will not drink TODAY!!


And if you really need to leave dont be around that enviroment.

Peace Dylan:ring

Hi Jennie

I also used to reward myself for doing what I thought was a fairly boring, mundane task. Unfortunately, being a stay at home mom, there were plenty of those.

I found telling myself that the 'reward' system was absolutely ridiculous. Instead of seeing booze as a reward, try picturing it as a poison. "After mowing this enormous patch of grass, I'm going to poison myself." Doesn't sound so brilliant, does it? Reward your body and mind with a huge bottle of ice cold soda or water. It will hydrate your system so much better than anything with alcohol in it, and in that hot weather, it's what you should be doing, anyhow!

There are many, many triggers ahead of you, this one seems a biggie, but in the grand scheme of things it's tiny - and you'll see that tomorrow. You can do it!

Hi Jennie,

You can find a more healthy way to reward yourself than drinking. I just got home from a super ice-cream treat, which was perfect on a hot, summer afternoon.

If that doesn't appeal to you, maybe you should think about not going.

Chug water...........by the gallon if you have to. Helps me a ton. Eat a big meal, as well. I used to smoke weed before cutting the grass, and drink beers after. Heck, I even mowed the lawn high on ecstasy once. HAHAHA.

What you're going through is not all that uncommon. And guess what? You can make it through this. So long as you allow yourself to do so. And it's really just that simple.

I try and stay in the moment in situations like that.

SoberJennie, a big part of it is your mindset. If you view alcohol as a positive, reward type of thing you're just feeding the desire to drink. One thing I used every time I got the urge was to visualize my worst hangover or withdrawal (if you ever took it that far). If you can get that image in your mind you will eventually view it as a negative and the desire will drop off.

I have been cold drinking sparkling water by the gallon and eating popsicles by the dozen. Oh and sorbet... more than a couple pints of that. It's really refreshing, a treat but not too high in calories and great on these hot summer days.

You can do this!

Hi Jennie,

Come back and post how you rewarded yourself instead. It's very encouraging to come back and read the praise. :)

Also, you won't be stuck with a hangover and won't be back in that horrible cycle.

You can definitely do this!

Update: I'm on a break from the riding lawn mower. I'm feeling really good and positive and I know I'm not going to choose to drink tonight. I'm really ready to move on in my life. And this was a much easier challenge than before when I first imagined that huge field being cut. I'm actually enjoying the riding lawn mower this time. Last time I did it half drunk at night and for the next two days with a hangover. How did I ever manage to operate like that? My body and brain must be so relieved it doesn't have to put up with alcohol anymore.

Thanks everyone! I loved reading what each you had to say!!!

Well done!

I'm looking forward to going to work (well, that may be a bit of an overstatement) and being able to function like I did on Friday

Gatorade will be much better for you than alcohol.

Thanks for the status update SJ.

The change in mindset or perspective that alcohol is no good for us enables us to start facing life and life's challenges (even moving the lawn) sober instead of under the influence. As time goes by these experiences start accumulating and hopefully reach the point where we truly start to believe we can do all of life sober - and still find immense satisfaction in so doing.

Good job! :)

Good for you! You could take pictures of all your hard work. I know a mowed field isn't too exciting but I'd look at the pics AND I know your iphone would take good photos! :)

Hey there! Good job!

I know, I know. Sometimes we overestimate how hard things are going to be. We psych ourselves into thinking, "Man, this is what brings me back out."

But many times, once you go through it, it isn't all that bad.

Good job on getting the job done without drinking.

The first time we do things we associate with drinking without drinking is really hard. It is so worth it though. It is like building a muscle, each time you do it without drinking will get easier and easier until you get to the point where you think it is ridiculous that you needed to poison your brain to do it in the first place.

Ok 1undone, here you go! Here's the humongous field we mowed today... sober!

http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/...Field/mow2.jpg

http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/...Field/mow1.jpg

http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/...brian_mow2.jpg

http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/...brian_mow3.jpg

Good Job on the field! I totally failed today but I will try again tomorrow! On a separate subject; at least it was a riding lawnmower. Living in this horrid heat I would enjoy a mower I could sit on; so would my son! :)

Field looks great! Glad to hear you didn't drink. :) Awesome!

That's a big field! Great job!!!!