A STEP FORWARD (finally) + identifying TRIGGERS
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 18
A STEP FORWARD (finally) + identifying TRIGGERS
I'm pretty new here so I'm posting in this section, plus I know it's frequented. Just wanted to share that today was my third day sober (haven't done that in a year+) and I had what was almost a vision to me about my triggers. Yours may be very different and more numerous but I was finally able to identify two main triggers that make me want to drink:
1. I have an absolute fear of not being able to sleep-- SOLUTION: I'll stay active until my natural sleeping time, whatever that may encompass. In the past, it was playing music or watching my favorite anime shows at night. Just to stay occupied until my natural sleeping time, which for me is around 12:30 AM.
2. I absolutely CANNOT get involved with conversations after about 9 PM. There have been a few people in my life who always draw me into their late-night convos and I just cannot do that. At least right now. Everytime it happens, I immediately revert back to fact #1 which is I think it makes me too hyper to go to sleep.
So now I know my rules. If you have ever seen the movie The Transporter, you know that "The Transporter" never breaks his own rules, and when he does, he gets himself in trouble. ... This is the first day in SEVERAL years where I ACTUALLY feel, without lying to myself, that a HUGE step forward was taken today. I informed my family about what I have learned and they say they understand and will respect the two triggers I have identified.
There can be 1,000 different reasons that cause people to drink. I am just sharing what I have learned today. I used to try to be positive and convince myself that I was taking steps forward but the day is coming to a close and now I KNOW what it feels like to take a step forward. You don't have to try to convince yourself of it when it happens. You can feel it. And I know this isn't the end. It's just the beginning for me. But to take a step forward feels SOOOOOOOOOOOOO good right now. For the first time in years, I have hope again this year, which is something I had lost for the last year or two. I thought I had no hope of getting better. I had basically almost given up.
I am telling you that the most important thing is to stick in there and never give up. It may take a LONG, LONG time to start to understand and be able to figure out how YOU personally will be able to solve this problem. But the only way to lose is to give up. If you just keep trying everyday, like I have for YEARS, you may someday have your first breakthough, like I did today. Be aware, like I said, that isn't the end. It's the beginning. It's the beginning of understanding and finally getting the solution. I strongly feel that in the end, only *I*, and only *you* can solve our problems. Other people can help. But you will have to be the main catalyst for your own recovery.
Sorry for the rant. Being raised by two English teachers and having pent-up emotions to the hilt, I can easily write a lot. I honestly give sincere wishes that you see your own personal light which starts you on the road to your own personal recovery. And when that happens, I hope you share it with everyone so we can all learn from each other and someday attempt to stop this horrible affliction.
1. I have an absolute fear of not being able to sleep-- SOLUTION: I'll stay active until my natural sleeping time, whatever that may encompass. In the past, it was playing music or watching my favorite anime shows at night. Just to stay occupied until my natural sleeping time, which for me is around 12:30 AM.
2. I absolutely CANNOT get involved with conversations after about 9 PM. There have been a few people in my life who always draw me into their late-night convos and I just cannot do that. At least right now. Everytime it happens, I immediately revert back to fact #1 which is I think it makes me too hyper to go to sleep.
So now I know my rules. If you have ever seen the movie The Transporter, you know that "The Transporter" never breaks his own rules, and when he does, he gets himself in trouble. ... This is the first day in SEVERAL years where I ACTUALLY feel, without lying to myself, that a HUGE step forward was taken today. I informed my family about what I have learned and they say they understand and will respect the two triggers I have identified.
There can be 1,000 different reasons that cause people to drink. I am just sharing what I have learned today. I used to try to be positive and convince myself that I was taking steps forward but the day is coming to a close and now I KNOW what it feels like to take a step forward. You don't have to try to convince yourself of it when it happens. You can feel it. And I know this isn't the end. It's just the beginning for me. But to take a step forward feels SOOOOOOOOOOOOO good right now. For the first time in years, I have hope again this year, which is something I had lost for the last year or two. I thought I had no hope of getting better. I had basically almost given up.
I am telling you that the most important thing is to stick in there and never give up. It may take a LONG, LONG time to start to understand and be able to figure out how YOU personally will be able to solve this problem. But the only way to lose is to give up. If you just keep trying everyday, like I have for YEARS, you may someday have your first breakthough, like I did today. Be aware, like I said, that isn't the end. It's the beginning. It's the beginning of understanding and finally getting the solution. I strongly feel that in the end, only *I*, and only *you* can solve our problems. Other people can help. But you will have to be the main catalyst for your own recovery.
Sorry for the rant. Being raised by two English teachers and having pent-up emotions to the hilt, I can easily write a lot. I honestly give sincere wishes that you see your own personal light which starts you on the road to your own personal recovery. And when that happens, I hope you share it with everyone so we can all learn from each other and someday attempt to stop this horrible affliction.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Coffs Nsw
Posts: 80
I used to worry about not sleeping..but now without work committments.. I go with the flow and no my body will drop eventually.. its exhausting to be in that mid world between alert and alive and of sleep though...Im working at identifying my own triggers at the moment too
Dont worry about the long post... I love reading them...and so often relate ... thanks and congrats on 3 days...
Dont worry about the long post... I love reading them...and so often relate ... thanks and congrats on 3 days...
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,899
Great insights on the addictive nature as it relates not just to you but to be me as well.
Now a little disclaimer. Some people in recovery have a set of 'rules' that contradict the hard won insights that, as it looks, you and me have found to be true. Nobody is in absolute truth of their little world of recovery modality to negate other methods of recovery, me included. Just be warned.
I know finding the causes that have me drugging/drinking gives me the power to change, against what would be a predictable outcome of using time and again.
Keep making the changes that will give you relief from an illness, that left unchecked, will be ones doom.
Now a little disclaimer. Some people in recovery have a set of 'rules' that contradict the hard won insights that, as it looks, you and me have found to be true. Nobody is in absolute truth of their little world of recovery modality to negate other methods of recovery, me included. Just be warned.
I know finding the causes that have me drugging/drinking gives me the power to change, against what would be a predictable outcome of using time and again.
Keep making the changes that will give you relief from an illness, that left unchecked, will be ones doom.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,899
Originally Posted by SwanSong 
No method of recovery should ever be negated if it works....!
Thanks for the post Takumi.
Thanks for the post Takumi.
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