RyanRed

Im really stating to think I have this PAWS thing Ive been reading about. 2 months plus some change sober, and some days I just feel "off".

Anxiety strikes from no where, or triggered by some irrational fear, and then that chain reacts to put me in a real spacey feeling state. The feelings quite scary sometimes.

Now tonight for example. I've been awake for freakin 32 hours! What the heck is up with that right?? Im not on drugs of course, I just cant flippin sleep! I tried to sleep last night, but my mind wouldn't let me. Tried today as well, and same thing. Always thinkin.... grrrr!!!! I'm feeling quite spacey right now, but that's to be expected.. I've been awake for a day and half lol.

So anyways. Yeah no money for the doctors, no insurance, so I just have to battle these feelings myself sadly.

I was reading about PAWS, and it was saying PAWS is the lead reason for relapse. But not for this guy here! I promise you that! No way would I go back to that dark place voluntarily again. Not worth it one bit! Plus, after reading about PAWS, it mentioned even one night of drinking/drug use would automatically make you start all over again with this PAWS garbage. NO THANK YOU SIR. Thats like having to walk though hell twice!! Yeah, not going to happen. Ill do my one walk, and there will be no stopping to smell.. well I guess the sulfur?? lol

Awwwwww anyways. I like to kid a lot. But this stuff sucks. Sometimes it feels like im going though detox again. Not fun stuff!

So any of you dealt with this? Any tips or get out of jail free cards you could send my way would be AWESOME!

Take care people! Stay strong! I sure am trying

-Ryan

PAWS SUCKS!!! :camper:

P.S. Oh for thouse that dont know what PAWS is. It stands for Post Acute Withdrawal Shi..... I mean Syndrome

newwings

I've no experience to offer you Ryan, sadly. All I can say is now, day 72, things are good - but not perfect, by any means. Last night I was awake until 3am even though I was exhausted, tossing and turning, fretting about random shite that didn't even figure earlier in the day. Most nights I'm turning in way past 1am, making me grumpy, stressed, resentful and overwhelmed - but not with not drinking....just STUFF. I'm not exactly full to the brim with happiness, currently.

But I'm still sober. I guess that's the key, ain't it?

Hope you feel better soon, or at least get some answers and tips! Good to hear from you.

Soberpotamus

LOL! I can imagine... Actually, I think I was experiencing it when I was sober 8 months when I was 27. I was put on some meds for possible Bipolar II (yikes!) but maybe it was just some extreme PAWS... what scares me near shiteless is that once I get sober for a long while again... will I experience a manic episode?? I guess I'll have no choice but to wait and see... thank god I'm familiar with the DSM and all that, not that I wanna be... but I chose psych as one of my majors in school. LOL.

Ryan... hang in there. My sleep sucks too at the moment. I can't go to bed sometimes until 5am and then I wake up around 8 or 9am... sometimes sleep until 2pm

Hot baths seem to relax me and I listen to some meditation podcasts on the iphone in the bath and then in the bed.

32 hrs, no sleep?? Yikes, maybe you'll crash tonight then.

bcboy

Good on you for 2 + months Ryan!

Keep reading and researching everything on this forums and others. You have a great attitude towards fighting this.

I had PAWS for sure at around the 3,6,10 month time frame. The first time at 3 months I did not know what the heck it was because up until that point I was feeling great, then BAM!!

Once I read up and found out that PAWS was indeed what I was experiencing and what many of us all here have gone through I did not feel so freaked out.

How I managed was first off knowing that it was normal and that it would not last long. Each time lasted about 24 hours and then I was back to normal. I also did some research on H.A.L.T

- Make sure you have handy lots of good healthy food during these times.
- If you can get out and do some exercise this will also help.
- Limit how much Caffeine you are taking in and drink lots of water.
- Get lots of rest and just generally go easy on yourself.

And most importantly don't let that negative voice in your head get you into thought loops. This is the beast of booze who you are trying to kill off for good and it is trying everything in its power to get you to give in.

Every time that voice starting speaking to me I would tell it point blank that I was no longer listening and that I will destroy it for good.

Hope this helps

RyanRed

Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Theres the Wiki on it. While I dont feel depressed, suicidal, or anything that bad. I do feel anxiety a lot lately. Good news is it supposed to go away over time.

I guess what should I expect? I drank like a fish for so many years. I shouldnt expect to just snap my fingers and all is well again.

But I refuse to take medications even if I had them. Ill just ride it out I guess. But it sure makes doing day to day stuff hard sometimes.

-Ryan

RyanRed

Thats it to a T bud. I was feeling just fine and dandy for my first month sober. (outside of the first week of course). Life felt great! Then all of a sudden BAM! Anxiety mode. So I started changing how I ate, what I drank etc. Somedays I thought I had it licked. Ill feel completely fine for a day or 2. Then out of no where in a mear 2-3 mins I start feeling spacey, or in extreme anxiety. Im thinking to myself "What the hell is this!" Where is these feelings coming from! This makes no sense. Im sober now, I shouldnt be feeling like I did in my first week of detoxing.

But yeah, Im quite sure its PAWS. Ive been quite the SANE person all my life. But this stuff makes ya feel insane. hahaha Look at me right now. I've now been awake for 36 hours. Cant sleep.

I just keep telling myself its all in my head. And it is. It just a pain in the butt to deal with.

Thanks for that post bud!!

-Ryan

StPeteGrad

I'm right there with you, Ryan. At 4 months I found myself clumsy and unable to string two words together. I have moments of clarity but often feel like a stranger in my head. I'm trying to chalk it up to quitting anti-depressants too.

Hang in there- as long as you know what it is you'll be less likely to throw in the towel. It has worked for me so far.

Belier

Hi Ryanred, I just hit six months and I have had a few PAW things happen, strange anxiety like a rush of too much sugar all through my body. But it passes and I think for the years I put my body through hell, this is ok to experience these things every now again. Keep up the good work, it really does get better. Basically I am alive now, feeling things rather than just an empty shell.

bblackbirdflyy

hey Ryan,

Hope you found some sleep, or are sleeping right now. You'll get through it!

lols @

bexxed

Real, serious exercise can help. Like, not "oh I walked the dog around the block" or "A leisurely hour long stroll" kind of exercise. I mean the kind that boosts your blood pressure and makes you sweat in rivers and breathe really heavy. For at least 20 minutes every day. That and cutting down caffeine can really really help. At least, for me, of course.

Bikeguy

I'm at 20 weeks and I struggle with it as well. Sometimes not for days but sometimes daily. I haven't found a reason for what brings it on or stops it which is very frustrating. It seems to be getting less but your absolutely right it sucks!

Mark75

In retrospect, I am pretty sure I had this PAWS thing. Like you, I didn't have the severe depression, suicidal ideation, problems with coordination, etc... But my mind was a constant whirlwind of noise that would just not shut down... Mine was real bad in the mornings, or whenever I was not otherwise distracted with work or activities.

Two things worked for me best.

Meditation Music... Liquid Mind by Chuck Wild was my favorite. I have over the ear headphones with good low frequency response and backround noise isolation... It really helped when the buzz was getting hard to take. There are several titles available on iTunes and they have a web site. I also have some instrumental jazz blues by a recovered, awesome, guitar (Strat) player, Ronnie Earl... The Hammond B3 player is no slouch either... "Grateful Heart" and "Healing Time" I found to be the most mellow and relaxing... His newest is "Spread the Love"... occasionally I would just drift off to sleep (!!!) if the room was dark and comfortable.... Check them out.

Exercise... Long bike rides ... The endorphins, a good tired.

I am also AA and some of the 12 step work was very helpful as well. Reading recovery material and novels was also good... though reading newspapers and magazines was impossible, even watching movies didn't help much...

Some of the stuff I did... It took me about 9 months before the buzz went away. It'll get better.

ADaisyifyoudo

I can't tell if what I am experiencing is PAWS (1 month) or just extreme mood swings and depression. For me it's about every other day I feel OK, and then I feel absolutely crushingly lonely and depressed the other. It's awful.

Although I was depressed on and off while I was drinking it was never this bad. I can understand why this would lead to relapse for a lot of people, since it's difficult to tell myself to continue to slog through what is now a worse time emotionally than when I was drinking in order to get to an uncertain future that's an indeterminate time away. I am still working it one day at a time but my resolve isn't as strong as it was when I started.

Thanks for the suggestion on exercise. I am finding it really hard to motivate to get out an do it but will try today.

billsaintjames

THIS is one of the main things that has kept me sober.

I haven't really had any alcohol cravings, but my cravings for marijuana went through the roof around months 4 and 5. Looking back, those extreme MJ urges represented my brain's desire to replace the booze with another intoxicant.

Thankfully, I was scared that if I smoked, I would be throwing all my progress away. If I hadn't read about PAWS, I don't know if I would have been that strong. I don't know if I was going through PAWS or what, but reading about it kept me sober, and that is worth something.

1undone

Yup day 49 here and for the last couple of days I've had all the symptoms. I've been questioning my sanity and if I will ever feel "normal." The self loathing is almost unbearable. It's this site that has kept me from completely wigging out on my spouse! LOL

I'm finding also that the weather is having a negative effect on my mood. The sun hasn't shined here in the "Sunshine State" in a few days. It's been raining on and off like in a Mid-West fashion. Usually here we get wild storms that blow in and within a half hour the sun is shining again. But lately NOT SO MUCH.

I feel for you! I have very little patience for this PAWS crapola. I can see why relapse happens around this time. But like you, I am not going there. I just can't.

Sometimes I go back to when I was around 8yrs old and remember how excited I used to get over the most simple things and I wish I could feel that way again. Where did that excitment go? it's been so long since I felt excitment for anything. I think I've forgotten how. Hence depression..... It sucks.

Someday I hope to feel real, honest joy about something. ANYTHING.

Latte

Recognizing the feelings/behaviors is a big step. That is amazing.

Good for you on the two months.

Murray4x5

Early in recovery it helped me to think of them as being bell curve shaped; slow to start...building in intensity...then fading away. I found that each PAWS episode got a little smaller, and they also got further apart as time went on.

These days (at 361 days sober) I get VERY infrequent little urges bubbling up into my consciousness from my limbic system. I think of them as nasty little basal urges from my evolutionary lizard brain leftovers, which are now easily swatted aside

You might find some further interesting reading here;

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...d-edition.html

Some of them might even help you fall asleep! Congrats on hanging in there!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eddiebuckle

Ryan, this is why AA and NA give out chips at various months. The PAWS is process takes up to 18 months to subside entirely, and medications - sleep aids, etc. are likely going to fire up your amygdalae - the part of your brain that sets off the neurological cascade that causes cravings. Stay away from that stuff - what you are feeling is temporary. The good news is that PAWS fades and comes back less and less frequently with less severity over time.

Hang in there, you're doing great!

coming_clean

PAWS are not nice....

be gone PAWS...

they don't like me, and I don't like them...

michelle01

You are right, if you can hold out through this and stay sober, you will be better off in the long run. I had a terrible time with PAWS in my first year, my relapse pattern probably didn't help (just kept me bouncing back and forth unfortunately), and looking back there wasn't as much support as there should have been.

I resorted to medication in the end, after ascertaining it was non addictive. That's a personal decision for folks to make - I no longer really need it.

This is as I've seen it described a disease/disorder with psychological, biological and social components. The above tips are all good ones, having some counseling helped me be able to 'vent' my frustration and learn to manage stress levels (stress of course is unavoidable in our lives, but learning to handle it can prevent some episodes of PAWS apparently).