Here I am...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Here I am...
I just returned from a funeral involving the passing of my uncle and godfather who struggled with alcoholism. He went his last 25 or so years alcohol free and continued to be one of the most funniest guys I ever met. He always made people feel better about themselves and never went back to his old habits.
Here I am... thinking that alcohol is the only way to salvage a bad day. Even when things are going great during the day... alcohol becomes the icing on the cake. Whatever the circumstances, a day off the next day means another 9-12 beers consumed as long as I make it home by 10:00 pm.
As much as I would rather watch my girls shoot baskets or swim in the small pool outside, I end up in the basement with the big screen TV and fridge calling my name.
My family defends my 6 foot body carrying 275 pounds as a victim of a slow metabolism but I know better. I can't continue this pattern if I want to live a long, sustained life.
I think I just solved my own problem, but how do I put it into action?
Here I am... thinking that alcohol is the only way to salvage a bad day. Even when things are going great during the day... alcohol becomes the icing on the cake. Whatever the circumstances, a day off the next day means another 9-12 beers consumed as long as I make it home by 10:00 pm.
As much as I would rather watch my girls shoot baskets or swim in the small pool outside, I end up in the basement with the big screen TV and fridge calling my name.
My family defends my 6 foot body carrying 275 pounds as a victim of a slow metabolism but I know better. I can't continue this pattern if I want to live a long, sustained life.
I think I just solved my own problem, but how do I put it into action?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Hi and Welcome,
I am sorry for the loss of your uncle.
I think you put it into action by not drinking today. Get rid of the alcohol in the house, change your daily routines to help break habits, and get the support that you need to stay sober.
There is always someone here at SR to offer support.
I am sorry for the loss of your uncle.
I think you put it into action by not drinking today. Get rid of the alcohol in the house, change your daily routines to help break habits, and get the support that you need to stay sober.
There is always someone here at SR to offer support.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
My condolences to you for your Uncles passing.
As Anna said, taking action means doing something about it.
I think you already know what you need to do. Doing it is hard...this means changing everything. Changing your now habits and your thinking habits. Instead of grabbing a beer, grab the basketball.
Wishing you peace and strength.
As Anna said, taking action means doing something about it.
I think you already know what you need to do. Doing it is hard...this means changing everything. Changing your now habits and your thinking habits. Instead of grabbing a beer, grab the basketball.
Wishing you peace and strength.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Please follow your late Uncle's example on how to live a non drinking life...and enjoy it too...he left you a positive role to fill. bless him.
Welcome to SR...
Welcome to SR...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
WOW! I wonder if this is the oldest post ever to be "bumped" in the history of this forum?
Well, I know I have been trying to work on my drinking issues for a long time but seeing this post from over six years ago really is an eye opener on how fast time passes by when issues go unaddressed.
At any rate, my issues with drinking haven't gotten better... they have actually gotten a bit worse.
To be honest, I actually completely bottomed out emotionally due to a decision to move to a geographic area and started a new job that I found extremely undesirable. Between 2014 and 2017, I struggled so much emotionally that I increased the frequency of mass alcohol consumption to virtually every day.
I started focusing on making major improvements to my well being, health, and self improvement since I moved again and took a new job about nine months ago. Alcohol consumption has indeed decreased in amount and frequency, but it is still a significant problem.
I think the issue this whole time is that I was convinced that I didn't need to stop drinking entirely and could continue to "enjoy" drinking in moderate amounts. I have recently convinced myself that I can't turn back the clock and successfully return to moderate consumption.
With the help of a recovering alcoholic and good friend, I made a decision to try to stop drinking for 30 days at the beginning of April. I stopped for five days, attempted to drink in moderation during the weekend and during an early week business trip, and quickly found my consumption had resumed to prior levels IN LESS THAN TEN DAYS!!!
Quite the slippery slope, huh? Well, I am started the process again last Sunday, I met with and had a great discussion with my friend/mentor on Monday, and will be attending an AA meeting tonight. (I presume I just show up which is what I'll do since it is close by.)
Why the sudden enlightenment? Well, I am not a religious person or a person who believes in fate, but several fortunate events have occurred over the past couple weeks have put things in perspective.
1) The recent attempt to moderate consumption and the quick regression.
2) Talking to someone in recovery and not having this person make me feel shamed or embarrassed for relapsing... encouraged me to keep trying.
3) Hearing Russell Brand's perspective that a 10 step program can work for someone who is not religious. A "higher power" can also be an acknowledgement that I am not the center of the Universe and we are all interconnected by a power that is greater than myself.
4) Deciding to start watch the show "Love" on Netflix last weekend (ironically, the first Netflix show I have ever watched). I wanted to give a "light-hearted romantic comedy series" a try and, to my great surprise, found that "Love" is also about recovery. It has been remarkably enlightening in terms of portraying relationships and substance abuse.
... and onward I go... back to work, then working out, then a meeting, then a couple more episodes of my new favorite TV show (actually, my all time favorite... thanks Judd Apatow!)... then tomorrow.
Well, I know I have been trying to work on my drinking issues for a long time but seeing this post from over six years ago really is an eye opener on how fast time passes by when issues go unaddressed.
At any rate, my issues with drinking haven't gotten better... they have actually gotten a bit worse.
To be honest, I actually completely bottomed out emotionally due to a decision to move to a geographic area and started a new job that I found extremely undesirable. Between 2014 and 2017, I struggled so much emotionally that I increased the frequency of mass alcohol consumption to virtually every day.
I started focusing on making major improvements to my well being, health, and self improvement since I moved again and took a new job about nine months ago. Alcohol consumption has indeed decreased in amount and frequency, but it is still a significant problem.
I think the issue this whole time is that I was convinced that I didn't need to stop drinking entirely and could continue to "enjoy" drinking in moderate amounts. I have recently convinced myself that I can't turn back the clock and successfully return to moderate consumption.
With the help of a recovering alcoholic and good friend, I made a decision to try to stop drinking for 30 days at the beginning of April. I stopped for five days, attempted to drink in moderation during the weekend and during an early week business trip, and quickly found my consumption had resumed to prior levels IN LESS THAN TEN DAYS!!!
Quite the slippery slope, huh? Well, I am started the process again last Sunday, I met with and had a great discussion with my friend/mentor on Monday, and will be attending an AA meeting tonight. (I presume I just show up which is what I'll do since it is close by.)
Why the sudden enlightenment? Well, I am not a religious person or a person who believes in fate, but several fortunate events have occurred over the past couple weeks have put things in perspective.
1) The recent attempt to moderate consumption and the quick regression.
2) Talking to someone in recovery and not having this person make me feel shamed or embarrassed for relapsing... encouraged me to keep trying.
3) Hearing Russell Brand's perspective that a 10 step program can work for someone who is not religious. A "higher power" can also be an acknowledgement that I am not the center of the Universe and we are all interconnected by a power that is greater than myself.
4) Deciding to start watch the show "Love" on Netflix last weekend (ironically, the first Netflix show I have ever watched). I wanted to give a "light-hearted romantic comedy series" a try and, to my great surprise, found that "Love" is also about recovery. It has been remarkably enlightening in terms of portraying relationships and substance abuse.
... and onward I go... back to work, then working out, then a meeting, then a couple more episodes of my new favorite TV show (actually, my all time favorite... thanks Judd Apatow!)... then tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
Welcome back, TeeJay. Im really glad you're here. Moderation is impossible for me and most of us here, I strongly suspect. I have no 'off' switch and once I get going there's no telling what will happen except there is a guarantee of disaster. It was much easier and better just to quit completely. The phenomena of kindling where each successive attempt to quit drink becomes worse than the last is a real thing that I've unfortunately experienced, that slippery slope feeling you describe where bad things can happen very quickly.
Yep, just walk in the door at the meeting and you will be welcomed. While I don't use AA now it has been a great help to me in the past, especially in early recovery.
I hope you hang around and continue to post; SR has been vital in my getting and staying sober--Monday was 27 months for me.
Yep, just walk in the door at the meeting and you will be welcomed. While I don't use AA now it has been a great help to me in the past, especially in early recovery.
I hope you hang around and continue to post; SR has been vital in my getting and staying sober--Monday was 27 months for me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Thanks everyone!
Observing that AA meeting was eye opening! This particular one had a few people who are regulars who were at the very extreme end of the alcoholic horizon. A forum like this may be more efficient for me to meet people all along the spectrum at various stages.
Glad to hear I am the only one with an alcohol slope with wax on it!
Observing that AA meeting was eye opening! This particular one had a few people who are regulars who were at the very extreme end of the alcoholic horizon. A forum like this may be more efficient for me to meet people all along the spectrum at various stages.
Glad to hear I am the only one with an alcohol slope with wax on it!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome back, TeeJayVerm!
Very nice to meet you.
Moderation was impossible for me - I tried and failed miserably every single time.
I have discovered that sobriety truly rocks - who knew!!!!!!
Very nice to meet you.
Moderation was impossible for me - I tried and failed miserably every single time.
I have discovered that sobriety truly rocks - who knew!!!!!!
Reality...what a concept!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: CT, USA
Posts: 1,232
Welcome back TeeJay! Yes most of us have grandiose thoughts about moderation until we are 3/4 through with our first drink and start wondering where the next one will come from, despite that promise we would only have one drink per hour. I am learning disabled and have gone that route too many times. That's why I gave it up.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Have you ever formulated a rock solid plan for sobriety, TeeJayVerm? So many of us have found it to be a game-changer.
Have a look at this fantastic thread:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...highlight=Psst (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
Have a look at this fantastic thread:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...highlight=Psst (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
Welcome back!
I think I just solved my own problem, but how do I put it into action?
According to your profile, you joined this website in June 2011.
That's 7 years ago. As of today, you have 6 posts. I think there is a clue there.
Go to an AA meeting today, and log onto this site everyday.
I think I just solved my own problem, but how do I put it into action?
According to your profile, you joined this website in June 2011.
That's 7 years ago. As of today, you have 6 posts. I think there is a clue there.
Go to an AA meeting today, and log onto this site everyday.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh 
Have you ever formulated a rock solid plan for sobriety, TeeJayVerm? So many of us have found it to be a game-changer.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Originally Posted by Zebra1275
Welcome back!
I think I just solved my own problem, but how do I put it into action?
According to your profile, you joined this website in June 2011.
That's 7 years ago. As of today, you have 6 posts. I think there is a clue there.
Go to an AA meeting today, and log onto this site everyday.
I think I just solved my own problem, but how do I put it into action?
According to your profile, you joined this website in June 2011.
That's 7 years ago. As of today, you have 6 posts. I think there is a clue there.
Go to an AA meeting today, and log onto this site everyday.
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