New here and New to Sobriety.. Kinda
 

Hey yall, Name is Brand0n.. Well I am new to sobriety kinda. And I say that because I have been an addict damn near the majority of my life since the age of 13.

Well, Make a long story short... If I couldnt drink it, I smoked it.. If I could not smoke it, I snorted it..

Well the turning point was Friday June 25 2011. I drank myself into a stuper and basically slapped my wife called her every name under the sun except her name.. Attempted to drive off in my truck drunk. Now I have no remembrance of any of this. And this happens all too much.

I get angry, I would smoke or drink. I get sad same thing.

I get stressed same thing. Well it got out of hand. And it is rough. I have almost 8 years clean from crystal meth and now I have replaced that addiction with many others in the mean time. Well since Friday.. I have been totally sober.

This is a long road full of ups and downs.. Anger depression and many many other feelings. I feel like crap thinking back now about the things I put my wife through and all the down right dirty rotten things I have said to her and put her and our daughters through.

I know this may be kinda indepth so to say.. But I need everyone to know that I have realized I have a problem.. I can not be under any kinda in influence by anything. It does me no good nor my family any good and I think that this is going to be a big step for me being around others here who have suffered and still do suffer from the same thing(s) I have in my life time.

I have found myself being in an extreme anger states since Friday.. And not just about myself and my actions but not being able to handle situations because when I get into a situation all I wish to do is drink.

I wish I could write more to yall... But I have a few things to tend to at this moment. But I plan to be very active on here and with AA meetings here in my town.

Thanks for reading.

Welcome to SR Brand0n! It can get better!
Congrats on your sober time!!

:welcome to SR.

Thank yall, This is not easy for me. Seeing as being an addict literally just runs in my family. My Sperm Donor he is an addict. He was an alcoholic and a meth addict for yeeaarrs.. Still is.

His sister, My Aunt.. Same thing. She has a little over 5 years clean.

And my Grandmother.. Same thing except she kinda did what I do. Traded one addiction for another. She was addicted to crystal meth for years and year and years. Now she can not start her morning off without takin two shots of whiskey. And it just keeps going.

I am not proud of any of my troubles during my usage years. Nor am I stating that I am 100% sober and addiction free. Well because for me.. Thats not possible. I am a tweaker who does not tweak any more. I am a pot head who does not smoke pot any more. And I am an alcoholic who does not drink anymore.

Its an everyday struggle but I decided to look out for others who deal with this disease and was also trying to find a place for my wife to be able to relate with others who are the spouse or family members of those who struggle with addiction. And well this is the best place that I have found.:You_Rock_

Hi Brand0n, welcome! I'm new here too. I love this place so far. Keep posting :)

Congrats on being sober since your "incident" ...and anger is an understable emotion and reaction at this point.

Hang in there :c031:

Welcome. I am so glad you are here.

Welcome BrandOn - congratulations on your decision to get sober. It takes some getting used to, but it's worth it. Glad you're here and that you're thinking about AA. Support makes a huge difference! :ghug3