Seriously am I the only one?
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Covina, CA
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Seriously am I the only one?
Why is it that 4 out of 5 times I drink, I am fine. Its that one time that gets my ass in a blackout. People in recovery tell me, a bad day in sobriety is better than a great day using. I disagree, there are times when I drink that I have a blast, I hang with my friends without having to say,"I dont drink", I really enjoy myself and I dont wake up with a hangover. That is way better than having a horrible day in sobreity. I am new and having such a hard time wanting to stay sober.
My ratio was a lot lower than 4/5 but yes - that one time where 'everything was fine' was the hook that kept me coming back, again and again.
I kept thinking...if I can have a good time then, I should be able to have a good time everytime.
Now I look at it on the law of averages...I kept going back to something I knew was bad for me...disastrous even...I tried so often that sometimes I lucked out.
I wasn't in control..ever.
Once I took that first drink, all bets were off...I just sometimes had good luck.
Eventually even the rare good times stopped for me.
I wonder tho what defines fine for you tho Tony - have you thought about that?
not getting drunk, not getting into trouble, not blacking out or what?
D
I kept thinking...if I can have a good time then, I should be able to have a good time everytime.
Now I look at it on the law of averages...I kept going back to something I knew was bad for me...disastrous even...I tried so often that sometimes I lucked out.
I wasn't in control..ever.
Once I took that first drink, all bets were off...I just sometimes had good luck.
Eventually even the rare good times stopped for me.
I wonder tho what defines fine for you tho Tony - have you thought about that?
not getting drunk, not getting into trouble, not blacking out or what?
D
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Covina, CA
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Thanks
I would say, not blacking out, not regretting what i did, not calling in sick, not having unprotected sex, not doing other stuff like coke. I wish I could get into it, I really do, sobriety I mean. I sometimes even think, those few times I drink and blackout are easier dealing with than sobriety. I really need help, I know, or I think I do.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
TonytheTiger.
A part of you must want sobriety or else you wouldn't have posted on the Sober Recovery forum. When I first began my journey into alcoholism, I was a periodic binge drinker. I maintained control more frequently than I lost control. I used the moderate times to rationalize that nothing was amiss or wrong. Unfortunately my alcoholism progressed over the years. When I stopped for good I was drinking daily with weekend binges. The days of moderation and rationalization were over and drinking was no longer fun. I learned that alcoholism is progressive. Over any period of time it tends to get worse, not better. That was my experience.
Susan
A part of you must want sobriety or else you wouldn't have posted on the Sober Recovery forum. When I first began my journey into alcoholism, I was a periodic binge drinker. I maintained control more frequently than I lost control. I used the moderate times to rationalize that nothing was amiss or wrong. Unfortunately my alcoholism progressed over the years. When I stopped for good I was drinking daily with weekend binges. The days of moderation and rationalization were over and drinking was no longer fun. I learned that alcoholism is progressive. Over any period of time it tends to get worse, not better. That was my experience.
Susan
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Covina, CA
Posts: 8
TonytheTiger.
A part of you must want sobriety or else you wouldn't have posted on the Sober Recovery forum. When I first began my journey into alcoholism, I was a periodic binge drinker. I maintained control more frequently than I lost control. I used the moderate times to rationalize that nothing was amiss or wrong. Unfortunately my alcoholism progressed over the years. When I stopped for good I was drinking daily with weekend binges. The days of moderation and rationalization were over and drinking was no longer fun. I learned that alcoholism is progressive. Over any period of time it tends to get worse, not better. That was my experience.
Susan
A part of you must want sobriety or else you wouldn't have posted on the Sober Recovery forum. When I first began my journey into alcoholism, I was a periodic binge drinker. I maintained control more frequently than I lost control. I used the moderate times to rationalize that nothing was amiss or wrong. Unfortunately my alcoholism progressed over the years. When I stopped for good I was drinking daily with weekend binges. The days of moderation and rationalization were over and drinking was no longer fun. I learned that alcoholism is progressive. Over any period of time it tends to get worse, not better. That was my experience.
Susan
I would say, not blacking out, not regretting what i did, not calling in sick, not having unprotected sex, not doing other stuff like coke.
Like Susan suggested the thing about drinking alcoholically is...it's progressive.
Most of us find that we get those bad things happen more and more often...
and some of us, like me, then change the goalposts.
I remember after my first blackout thinking...'man that was scary...no more drinking for me'...of course it didn't last, and eventually blackout drinking became the norm for me.
I remember thinking it was ok that I only wrote myself off on weekends...then I started to drink on Wednesday nights...hump day. I ended up an all day every day drinker.
I don't know how long you've been sober Tony, but I wouldn't swap my sober life for my drunken one, ever.
If your sober life is not as good as your old one, maybe yeah, you do need some support.
Maybe it's time to check out some new meetings?
D
I used to think I could handle drinking because I never did it at home and only every few months..
Too bad it earned me an extreme DUI .23 bac in 2006, my 2nd DUI .08 bac in 2010, and I'm pretty sure the few times my husband and I drank together we faught all night.
Oh and I was drunk off my ass at my wedding..pretty embarrassing..
I decided I'm a little more enjoyable and a law abiding citizen when I'm sober
Good luck
Too bad it earned me an extreme DUI .23 bac in 2006, my 2nd DUI .08 bac in 2010, and I'm pretty sure the few times my husband and I drank together we faught all night.
Oh and I was drunk off my ass at my wedding..pretty embarrassing..
I decided I'm a little more enjoyable and a law abiding citizen when I'm sober
Good luck
Last edited by Roosiedoll; 06-29-2011 at 09:12 PM. Reason: Spelling errors
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Covina, CA
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I used to think I could handle drinking because I never did it at home and only every few months..
Too bad it earned me an extreme DUI .23 bac in 2006, my 2nd DUI .08 bac in 2010, and I'm pretty sure the few times my husband and I drank together we faught all night.
Oh and I was drunk off my ass at my wedding..pretty embarrassing..
I decided I'm a little more enjoyable and a law abiding citizen when I'm sober
Good luck
Too bad it earned me an extreme DUI .23 bac in 2006, my 2nd DUI .08 bac in 2010, and I'm pretty sure the few times my husband and I drank together we faught all night.
Oh and I was drunk off my ass at my wedding..pretty embarrassing..
I decided I'm a little more enjoyable and a law abiding citizen when I'm sober
Good luck
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
The good news about sobriety is that I have never had a blackout not drinking. Never. No worries about what I had said or done. No frantic search for ATM slips to try and figure out how much money I had spent the night before. No gnawing fear. No regrets. No self reproach. I wake up each morning knowing exactly where I was, what I did, who I was with the night before. Love it. Susan
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
As long as I romanticized the drink, I missed it, I wanted it, I longed for it. But the truth was that alcohol was going to destroy everything in my life that mattered. It wasn't my friend. It was my worst enemy and it wasn't going to stop until it killed me. There is no missing something that would seek my demise. Susan
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, Tony. Good questions. I definitely have fond memories of drinking. But once I began to realize I wasn't calling the shots anymore—that I couldn't always control how much I drank, and couldn't spend a night sober without it seeming like a big deal—that awareness took a lot of the fun out of drinking. And despite my best efforts to moderate, it got progressively worse as time went on. Then I came here, and discovered a whole lot people who had been through the same thing.
I could not even imagine what life would be like without it. Totally terrified me. Socializing, relaxing after work, washing my car, decorating the Xmas tree... all without some beer or wine? How's that even possible?
Well, turns out it's not only possible, it's better. Every single thing is better. Waking up, going to sleep, and everything in between. Sobriety rocks. Who knew?
I could not even imagine what life would be like without it. Totally terrified me. Socializing, relaxing after work, washing my car, decorating the Xmas tree... all without some beer or wine? How's that even possible?
Well, turns out it's not only possible, it's better. Every single thing is better. Waking up, going to sleep, and everything in between. Sobriety rocks. Who knew?
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
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As long as I romanticized the drink, I missed it, I wanted it, I longed for it. But the truth was that alcohol was going to destroy everything in my life that mattered. It wasn't my friend. It was my worst enemy and it wasn't going to stop until it killed me. There is no missing something that would seek my demise.
I would say, not blacking out, not regretting what i did, not calling in sick, not having unprotected sex, not doing other stuff like coke. I wish I could get into it, I really do, sobriety I mean. I sometimes even think, those few times I drink and blackout are easier dealing with than sobriety. I really need help, I know, or I think I do.
I am far from someone to be giving advice. But I do know all it takes is that one time.
I hope you find something that inspires you and motivates you to get into being sober.
Tony-
I realized that when I'm sober I don't get arrested. I'm currently paying on TWO fines, one is 4,500, the other 750. And I just got out of 15 days in jail. I've been there twice in the last 6 months.
I decided I didn't want to go to jail anymore and realized that my alcohol/drug use was linked to my jailtime. So that's pretty much what did it for me.
Sure I miss it but I can't have just ONE, so I figure why even start
I realized that when I'm sober I don't get arrested. I'm currently paying on TWO fines, one is 4,500, the other 750. And I just got out of 15 days in jail. I've been there twice in the last 6 months.
I decided I didn't want to go to jail anymore and realized that my alcohol/drug use was linked to my jailtime. So that's pretty much what did it for me.
Sure I miss it but I can't have just ONE, so I figure why even start
Hi Tony
I have found there are cycles, they morph over time, for the worse. In time I found there were more bad times than good times. My ability to bounce back was depleted.
Longing for the good times and the pleasant buzz has tripped me up more times than I care to remember
I have found there are cycles, they morph over time, for the worse. In time I found there were more bad times than good times. My ability to bounce back was depleted.
Longing for the good times and the pleasant buzz has tripped me up more times than I care to remember
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
I would say, not blacking out, not regretting what i did, not calling in sick, not having unprotected sex, not doing other stuff like coke. I wish I could get into it, I really do, sobriety I mean. I sometimes even think, those few times I drink and blackout are easier dealing with than sobriety. I really need help, I know, or I think I do.
All it takes is that one time to....black out and hurt yourself or someone else, Saying or doing something you cant take back, lose your job, get a disease, or OD.
I am far from someone to be giving advice. But I do know all it takes is that one time.
I hope you find something that inspires you and motivates you to get into being sober.
I am far from someone to be giving advice. But I do know all it takes is that one time.
I hope you find something that inspires you and motivates you to get into being sober.
I explained my past to my children and promised them id never do it again, but i knew to keep that promise id have to quit drinking for good.
This stuff is hard but its worth it Tony and believe it man when they say it gets better. 4 out of 5 aint bad, but the odds are against us, theres a lot to loose when we loose.
Tony, I gave up drinking completely three weeks ago but prior to that, I had cut back since January. Was only having one or two a couple nights a week and then getting drunk just once a week (4-6 drinks for me, I'm a small lady.) No, it wasn't always totally terrible. I've never gotten arrested, crashed a car, cheated on my husband, broken anything (besides a wine glass). I have driven drunk though more times than I'd like to admit (once is too many times.) I've had fights with my husband that wouldn't have happened without the alcohol. And sure, I've had some great times with friends that might not have happened without drinking because we were relaxed. Once I drank 5 margaritas after work and went to a coworker's horse stables and fed the horses with him and another friend... we were laughing and talking and really felt close to each other. But you know what? It's just not worth the times that it's bad.
You're not the only one that is able to drink in moderation sometimes, but I think the key is if there are some times that you CAN'T, that's all that matters. I have ridden roller coasters in the past without my Scop patch for motion sickness and feel fine, but I still always take the precaution of putting it on before I walk through the gates of the amusement park. It's not worth risking it. And I see drinking in the same way. It's just not worth the risk to even try.
You're not the only one that is able to drink in moderation sometimes, but I think the key is if there are some times that you CAN'T, that's all that matters. I have ridden roller coasters in the past without my Scop patch for motion sickness and feel fine, but I still always take the precaution of putting it on before I walk through the gates of the amusement park. It's not worth risking it. And I see drinking in the same way. It's just not worth the risk to even try.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Florida
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It gets pretty scary to wake up and have no clue what happened the night before or how I drove my car home.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: va
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me too
im having the same problem. I had a great time a lot of times, i will admit im the end it was getting to be a hangover everyday but i had fun while i was drinking and had friends.....now my "friends" dont call me anymore because im sober. so im bored and lonely and nothing seems as fun and i have noooo sex drive and im depressed......but on the flip side i am spending more time with my kids and have only had 1 panic attack this week! i constantly ask myself....."should i? shouldnt i?"
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