Day Ten
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
Day Ten
Well, I've made double digits. I'm very pleased--as is my therapist.
I am pleased to be so involved in my life because I'm sober. I'm pleased at the level of relaxation it affords me.
I will add, in to emphasize my achievement, that I have managed to sustain sobriety despite the fact that my sister's daughter is apparently blaming her divorce on my immediate family. She and her husband moved up here, and she is saying that even though she refused ALL invitations this winter, we didn't welcome her so she had to divorce her husband.
Can you fathom the pressure of that? Honest, she did refuse all invitations. She never wanted to move here and had actually never lived alone with her husband before, but he got a good job up here and she probably was never here four weeks in a row. But it's our fault.
We have been cut off--permanently. I cannot think of a better reason to get smashed--though I haven't.
I am pleased to be so involved in my life because I'm sober. I'm pleased at the level of relaxation it affords me.
I will add, in to emphasize my achievement, that I have managed to sustain sobriety despite the fact that my sister's daughter is apparently blaming her divorce on my immediate family. She and her husband moved up here, and she is saying that even though she refused ALL invitations this winter, we didn't welcome her so she had to divorce her husband.
Can you fathom the pressure of that? Honest, she did refuse all invitations. She never wanted to move here and had actually never lived alone with her husband before, but he got a good job up here and she probably was never here four weeks in a row. But it's our fault.
We have been cut off--permanently. I cannot think of a better reason to get smashed--though I haven't.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: La La Land
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Congrats on 10 days Missy!! I am learning that I need to focus on myself instead of allowing myself to rationalize that it is okay to get drunk because of actions of others. Not an easy feat but I am learning. I one day hope that I will be healthy enough to repair some of the severely damaged relationships in my life.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: KS
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Ten days and counting! Awesome job. I am proud of you.
Ya know, that reminds me of the time I ate mashed potatoes and then my sister's cat died.
Originally Posted by Missy7 
...she is saying that even though she refused ALL invitations this winter, we didn't welcome her so she had to divorce her husband.
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
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When I drank I thought I created problems...I thought my way of thinking was absurd and I was the butt of every problem, situation and scenario of anything negative.
But now? Looking back...I've come to realize that other people have problems, too and there's ALOT more people that should take advantage of counseling and spiritual healing and finding where their heart lies. Now that my head is clear...sometimes I wonder how people can think what they think.
But I am me and they are them and they have no influence over even an inkling of a millithought of drinking for me.
But now? Looking back...I've come to realize that other people have problems, too and there's ALOT more people that should take advantage of counseling and spiritual healing and finding where their heart lies. Now that my head is clear...sometimes I wonder how people can think what they think.
But I am me and they are them and they have no influence over even an inkling of a millithought of drinking for me.
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Ranger--you are so very funny. I really, really appreciate your use of the logical fallacy post hoc ergo propter hoc. I hadn't put it together, but it's so very there.
Emerald--pretty new avatar. I am so hurt by this, and so stunned, but I have to add that my sister, this neice's mother, is a Jungian therapist. That makes it even worse. Really? Their first few months together they should have stayed in bed--but I have a daughter her age and I gave both couples $100 gift certificates to a nice Portland restaurant and offered to babysit my daughter's kids to help them become a pair of couples. But the neice kept declining appointments. We are just scapegoats.
And I haven't really gotten too close to failing because of this, but I can sure see the pattern. This is so hurtful.
Emerald--pretty new avatar. I am so hurt by this, and so stunned, but I have to add that my sister, this neice's mother, is a Jungian therapist. That makes it even worse. Really? Their first few months together they should have stayed in bed--but I have a daughter her age and I gave both couples $100 gift certificates to a nice Portland restaurant and offered to babysit my daughter's kids to help them become a pair of couples. But the neice kept declining appointments. We are just scapegoats.
And I haven't really gotten too close to failing because of this, but I can sure see the pattern. This is so hurtful.
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Missy7
This is so hurtful.
It makes me wonder, "Do these resentments have anything to do with whether or not I'll stay sober? Do I need a way of getting rid of these resentments."
I found, just like the founders of AA did, that I couldn't simply wish these resentments away, not could I pretend they didn't matter. They had to be brought into the light.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Originally Posted by Ranger
Ten days and counting! Awesome job. I am proud of you.
Ya know, that reminds me of the time I ate mashed potatoes and then my sister's cat died.
Ya know, that reminds me of the time I ate mashed potatoes and then my sister's cat died.
I'm with Ranger on this one.....and you can have hurt feelings at an unjust accusation, you don't have to be a doormat. whatever her blathering, it's on her, not you...she is probably not feeling very rational at this point. ignore her and protect your sobriety.
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Keith--it's too new for me to resent it. But obviously they resent me. I'm just reeling from this. We were only able to confirm the divorce being filed yesterday. No one in their side of the family has contacted us except the neice write an email to my daughter saying she would not talk to her about it. She signed it, "have a nice life."
So if she won't talk about it, how can we bring it into the light?
And, BTW, I only mention it because I'm proud I haven't given into the dramatic pain it causes me. I'm not threatening to drink because of it. I'll be fine this time. I'm going two weeks if it kills me. Then onward from there.
So if she won't talk about it, how can we bring it into the light?
And, BTW, I only mention it because I'm proud I haven't given into the dramatic pain it causes me. I'm not threatening to drink because of it. I'll be fine this time. I'm going two weeks if it kills me. Then onward from there.
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Oh Fandy, this one would never go into a place that does Karaoke. She is a minor heiress. She is lovely and wears white at all times. Her world is just too beautiful for ours.
But I never would have left that new husband. He adores her and leased her a gorgeous apartment in a high rise in Portland. I could have sat there overlooking the park blocks and ignored anything a fully employed young man who adored me could dish out
.
But I never would have left that new husband. He adores her and leased her a gorgeous apartment in a high rise in Portland. I could have sat there overlooking the park blocks and ignored anything a fully employed young man who adored me could dish out
.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
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you can be lovely and wear white, but on the inside???? everyone has to go through what they consider to be "unbearable"....real life or minor heiress....something is not right and she felt the need to divorce her husband, looking for excuses...She may just be using you as an excuse for some deeper reason that she does not want to come to light....(an affair with the landscaper? running off with the pool-boy)?
a lot of times people need a "scapegoat"...and don't care who they hurt in the process.
a lot of times people need a "scapegoat"...and don't care who they hurt in the process.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Missy - congrats on Day 10! I've followed your posts since joining early this month and am very proud of your accomplishment.
Families...blah. I'm sorry your niece is being nasty - she's so NOT WORTH your accomplishments. At the end of the day - you know in your heart you have done right by her. After that, she's not worth any more thought. (Believe me, I have to practice what I preach. I believe half of my issues come from other people and my interpretations/perceptions).
Let's keep moving forward!
Families...blah. I'm sorry your niece is being nasty - she's so NOT WORTH your accomplishments. At the end of the day - you know in your heart you have done right by her. After that, she's not worth any more thought. (Believe me, I have to practice what I preach. I believe half of my issues come from other people and my interpretations/perceptions).
Let's keep moving forward!
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
Yeah for you Missy!
Family drama. I has it. I sympathize. I wish the woman-in-white a nice life too. Makes me think of Fitzgerald....The Beautiful and the Damned, in fact.
I like bratnik's thought....let's keep moving forward!
Family drama. I has it. I sympathize. I wish the woman-in-white a nice life too. Makes me think of Fitzgerald....The Beautiful and the Damned, in fact.
I like bratnik's thought....let's keep moving forward!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: auckland
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Hi Missy congragulations on 10 days sober! I bet you have had a bit of a rollercoaster over tose days! Congragulations on staying sober through tough times in those 10 days aswell. This is just the begining though and there may be many more awkward situations that you will have to find ways to deal with. I have only been sober for 9 weeks and these situations are already a lot easier!
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