Hi, I'm new :)
 

I joined today and I've spent a few hours reading the forum posts. Just thought I'd pop in here and say hi and briefly introduce myself. I'm a 30 something female living in the southeast (US). I'm self-employed and work from home as a freelance writer and remote call center agent. I have a boyfriend now since February. We live in the house I bought three years ago, with my 3 cats.

As you can imagine, working from home allowed me to turn up a wine bottle and drink pretty much whenever I wanted... not a good thing :( I've got to do something about it. And for a few years now I've tried different online programs... some of which helped, others not so much. Moderation Management just wasnt for me. I'm very happy with Women For Sobriety... although I haven't been very successful with staying sober for more than about a week at a time. The longest I've evern gone was 8 months... I felt really good during that time. I was 27 yrs old and that was quite an accomplishment. I want to motivate myself to do something to completely stop my drinking once and for all. I don't want to come back here when I'm 40 or 50 with even more problems, wishing I'd done something about it in my 30's. I have lots of books on the subject, and I do pick those up and read those often. I do not like AA. My mom did AA years ago. I have bad memories of those times... and I'm also agnostic. I also disagree with some of the philosophies of AA... although I'd never tell anyone not to do it if it works. I just prefer my own secular methods at this time. I will however, listen to anything that works. But, bottom line... I choose to think for myself and if something doesn't sit well with me (rationally) then I know it's my right to discard that.

I'm glad I found this forum... it looks like a really large group of diverse people and backgrounds from what I can tell... and that's a good thing! I'll be seeing you all around the forums and chatroom!

I'm new too!
 

Your're very young! I have done research for 3 years on this disease. I have seen all the pros and cons of AA and alternative methods. I have come to decide that I have no control of this "big ugly", and that I am willing to do what ever it takes to be who I was, when I was " O.K." I'm not an advocate. Just a thought! I'm not recovered, but I want to be, oh so much!

Hi SoberJennie :)

We have many members and many different methods at play here...I'm sure you'll be able to find like minds :)

You may find this forum interesting to you, for example :)
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Welcome!
D

Welcome Jennie. Glad you found us.
This is a great place for encouragement.

Welcome to SR Jennie,

Being self employed myself in my 20's really opens the days for plenty of abuse. Can remember actually envying some friends who had to hold off for work (and paychecks)

You'll find plenty of rational thinkers around. diverse and vibrant bunch indeed !?!


One secular idea that works for me is: "don't drink, no matter what "

.....and keep reaching for progressive ideals.

This place has helped so, soooo much the past 14 months.

Even though I'm a Secular Humanist, IMHO I really think recovery trumps world-views
.....[ for those needing (wanting) it]

...again, welcome

.



BTW, ....nice screen name

welcome jenny!
 

i struggle all day every day. and guess what...i dont want to be sober. i wanna marry wine. ive only made myself quit because my health is poor.

Wanting to quit is a great start! Glad you're here!
hang in, my frirend.

:welcome to SR

Hi there Jennie

I do AA.. but I also grab any ideas from any person or source to keep me sober... Ive been reading lots of wisdom here ... I started my journey at 26.. unfortunately my body was still relatively healthy and I could bounce back pretty easily...so I convinced myself I was ok with going back to drinking... and like u say... I crawled back alot older, beaten and lost alot... I so admire where u are now... go grab sobriety hun... u cant lose if you can.... nice to meet u here :)

Welcome Jennie - I'm also self-employed (artist) and it made it really easy to reach for that bottle of wine in the afternoon. I got tired of being obsessed with alcohol and getting through the hangovers (which seemed to get worse over time). I decided nothing would change unless I got some help and started working on being sober.

It's the best decision I've made in a long time...... If we can do it, so can you. And it really does get better.:ghug3

Welcome. I'm also self employed. I spent many hours at the bar directing my workforce via cell phone and email. I worked maybe 2 hours a day. I had other people working for me so I could drink. I'm glad I don't live like that anymore.

welcome i used to be closed minded also to aa na religion and just kept gettin worse broke mentally pyshcilly spirtualy i kept trying to do things my way it just didnt work same results insainty then i stopped fighting and said ok i give up and went to aa been sober now for 10 years workin on 11 1 day at atime trust me i not trying to sell aa we dont push anything on anyone its your choice your soberiety open minded willingnes was the key to my soberiety good luck

I am very raw- day 44?- I stay away from the strong divergent opinions on AA, and those who advocate for one way only. I like the AA written material and I reflect on what I read. I like my limited understanding of the steps. I am still thinking what about what I need from the safe little niche I have found for myself. I react badly under certain situation that I envisage could easily arise and I am worried this could set me back.

SR is a great place and everyone here has helped me enormously

Welcome SoberJennie!

I found this board a week ago and it has been and enormous help. One thing I like about it here is that there are so many people in the community that it's not hard to find a bunch to relate too. Everyone has their own way to get sober and no one here seems to judge you on how you on your methods.

:welcome

Glad you're here on this forum -- I joined fairly recently too & it's been such help. :)

Welcome Jennie! You've come to a good place with a good group of people. I usually advocate AA because that's what works for me (I'm also agnostic), but go with whatever you find that works for you. The end result is a helluva lot more important than the method of getting there, in my opinion. Glad you're here.

--Fenris.

welcome to Sober Recovery Comunity Jennie! :c011:

It sounds like you and I have a lot in common. I was sober for a year before and it was the best year of my life. I know that if I can quit for about 14 days, I can quit forever. Well anyway, that was how long it took the first time until I could tell it was completely gone. Back then, I didn't know that if you were an alcoholic before, you can never drink again. I was uneducated on the subject I suppose. I'm greatly looking forward to being sober again and I basically HAVE to do it. My living circumstances pretty much depend on it. Some people think that having a drink brings them peace but it does the opposite for me: It has removed any enjoyable peace and serenity from my life. Oh, BTW, I'm new here as well.

So glad you found us SoberJennie! I use AA myself but I know it's not the only way to get and stay sober. Whatever works, do it. Stick around here for a while and you'll here some great things. It's a wonderful, diverse group of people with one main goal. I love what Fenris said ... the end result is more important than how you get there. So true!

Welcome to SR. I second Dee's suggestions as well as others. Sorry to hear of your experiences with AA and hope you can find solutions to maintain positive recovery.

Welcome,Welcome, Welcome

I find it to be great place to read and vent and even journal here at SR. I also am doing the AA route like so many others, brank new to it though only 4 meetings in 4 days but so far I have found it to just be a safe haven above all else:)

I also am agnostic, but I sure can believe in one day at a time, hope to see more of your soberity.:)


Peace

Thanks so much for the warm welcomes from everyone! I'm looking forward to reading the forums. I'm sober on day 2 and feeling pretty good about it. I know the urges will come soon and I'm going to be vigilant and not let myself "bargain" with myself today :) I'm pretty good at being creative in that way, unfortunately. I have a book on relapse prevention that's probably the one I should keep my nose in at the moment... For a good long while actually.

Hi Jennie, welcome to SR. I too live in this dreadful heat of the SE. This forum has helped me tremendously when I feel the urge! Hope it helps you too!

Amen sister! I am in my 50s and wish I had quit in my 30s. I tried in my 20s, 30s and 40s. I just thought I was so smart and had to adjust everything to suit me. I tried many programs and I am now in recovery for 58 eight days the longest I have make it since my 30's. This time I am "working a program" listening to what I am being told to do and doing it. My attitude of it being MY WAY kept me drunk. I wish you luck. Don't waste 20 years being drunk you have a full life to live. Welcome to SR hope to see you here often. (())s the Lush

I really appreciate that, Lush. I'm guilty of being "smart" like that as well. And I've got loads of books, have dabbled in four different programs (including AA for one day... Mind you, as a child I soaked up the chants and philosophies from being dragged to those meetings by my mother... Who is now dead from a drug overdose), and taken myself to all kinds of therapists... All of my own accord. I'm not in denial (well... I may be in denial 5% regarding romantic notions of moderation... And I know this is the most dangerous thing.) But I DO have issues with dogma being forced upon me... I'm an only child who just always thought for myself. I have degrees in both philosophy and psychology. I was forced into a very dogmatic and oppressive Christian school for a few years as a child and that left a bitter taste in my mouth for religion and people in general. My big issues are trust and feelings of helplessness... Which inevitably can turn to rage when drunk :(

... So that's a little bit more of where I'm coming from. I'm also a person who typically hangs up instantly when I get calls from telemarketers... I'm a terribly "hard sell". Only since I've worked as a remote call center agent from home the past year have I learned empathy and understanding for what those people go through. So I have stopped the instant hanging up :)

Wishing you all the joy recovery can bring into your life....Welcome..:wave:

Sorry to know your Mother lost her battle.....:hug:

heya Jennie,

welcome.

keep posting.

it helps a lot.

Hi, I'm not someone who believes in the abrahamic idealised versions of god... in fact the religion I've ever come close to was Buddhism... but I dont subscribe to any religion.

I was scared about the AA, and today I went to my first meeting... because I know without support I am never going to beat this. I've tried and tried. I'm not saying AA is going to be your cup of tea; it may still not be mine (I didnt even speak today) - but maybe give it a go.

Sorry to read about your mum

Hi sober Jennie! Welcome to the forum! Its a very helpful place. You must have been proud of your 8 months achievement. I personally have been able to get up to about 3 months then get complacent and relapse. Hopefully I have placed measures to stop this from happening this time! I encourage you to look for measures that will help you!

Cairns

Thanks pavernt, fortunately there are Women For Sobriety face-to-face meetings now where I live. I've emailed the moderator of the group. They are aware I'm trying to talk myself into going. I think it'll be a really good decision that's going to feel awkward and uncomfortable for me at first... Since alcohol has been my excuse to isolate myself from others.

I really don't agree with taking children to AA meetings I just feel that it is not the place for them. I am an educator and very pro children, but rooms full adults in recovery is not an appropriate place open meeting or not. I too did not want to turn to AA again. I saw it as as antiquated set of doctrine that I could not relate to. I am a patchwork of religious ideals. My personality of taking what I want twisting it up a bit,and leaving the rest is at work once again lol. I believe in a universal energy.
Through the years I have become a chronic alcoholic. A low bottom drunk in the fact that I no longer cared about accepted social norms. I drank all day if I felt I needed to. I had no healthy honest relationships in my life. I hid alcohol everywhere ,shop lifted booze when my debt card was canceled by my H., lied and manipulated everyone. I had no self respect, but the most devastating thing was I had no spirituality; and had none for so long that I had to start from a place of simplicity. I don't need to tell you Jenny that spirituality is an internal balance that has nothing to so with religious doctrine. I hope that in my journey of recovery that I can learn to live in the moment, have gratitude and understand that my will need not be done. I will have you in meditation Jenny. Thank you for sharing. I will hold hope that you will find what you need in your journey. The Lush