Starting to get harder again....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: La La Land
Posts: 503
Squishy- Just know that we are all here for you 
I am taking it minute by minute sometimes. We can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep posting and getting it off of your chest. It has helped me more than I could have imagined!!
I am taking it minute by minute sometimes. We can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep posting and getting it off of your chest. It has helped me more than I could have imagined!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: MI
Posts: 720
Squishy - Just stay busy, snack, drink other forms of liquid other than alcohol, close your eyes and listen to the breeze and the birds, punch a punching bag....anything. But, do anything to take over the thought to consume an alcoholic beverage because it's an "occasion". I'm looking at this weekend of not drinking a me having an inner glow that no one or myself can beat out of me. I will shine, because I know I have control, not the alcoholic in me. I will beat it up, knock it down, and let what I REALLY WANT happen. And that is to stay sober. I want to come back after the holiday and see that WE ALL DID IT! Because we all can.
When coming home this afternoon, I was passing friends places, saying "booze there, beer there, margartias there, pina coladas there". Every one we know drinks - some less, some more. But, I love them just the same. I want to keep their friendship - I don't want to lose it because of alcohol - that to me would be tragic. Alcohol will not destroy my friendships. It's already destroyed me too many times.
So, don't worry about what every one else will be drinking. Think just about what you need to drink and enjoy everyone! Remember, some of the best memories are of being sober and people watching. I'm sure a lot of sober friends have been entertained by me. Thank goodness I'm not a flasher or a mooner - or I'd never live it down. :rotfxko
And remember, it goes from last big holiday of the summer....Labor Day woohoo....so and so is getting married - party time...so and so passed away - how sad, I'll just drink today....Merry Christmas - glug, glug, glug....Happy New Year - I feel like crap...and the list goes on and on. We can keep giving ourselves reasons why it's okay. But, it's not (as you had said before...it's not okay).
Stay strong, my friend!!!
When coming home this afternoon, I was passing friends places, saying "booze there, beer there, margartias there, pina coladas there". Every one we know drinks - some less, some more. But, I love them just the same. I want to keep their friendship - I don't want to lose it because of alcohol - that to me would be tragic. Alcohol will not destroy my friendships. It's already destroyed me too many times.
So, don't worry about what every one else will be drinking. Think just about what you need to drink and enjoy everyone! Remember, some of the best memories are of being sober and people watching. I'm sure a lot of sober friends have been entertained by me. Thank goodness I'm not a flasher or a mooner - or I'd never live it down. :rotfxko
And remember, it goes from last big holiday of the summer....Labor Day woohoo....so and so is getting married - party time...so and so passed away - how sad, I'll just drink today....Merry Christmas - glug, glug, glug....Happy New Year - I feel like crap...and the list goes on and on. We can keep giving ourselves reasons why it's okay. But, it's not (as you had said before...it's not okay).
Stay strong, my friend!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
In our own strange minds, anytime is a good time to take a drink. Squishy, I have those same thoughts too and guess what? I even had them on occasion after months passed, and I was working a formal program weekly!!
PaperDolls said things that ring true: Yes, the desire for a drink will pass. And, you'll feel that much stronger and better for not acting on it.
Just don't pretend that the desire for a drink won't happen and be prepared for it.
I've had many desires these past 34 days......and I'm sure I'll have one shortly just by bringing it up. LOL The key is not to act on it and to have faith that the desire will pass just like PaperDolls said. Hope that helps.
PaperDolls said things that ring true: Yes, the desire for a drink will pass. And, you'll feel that much stronger and better for not acting on it.
Just don't pretend that the desire for a drink won't happen and be prepared for it.
I've had many desires these past 34 days......and I'm sure I'll have one shortly just by bringing it up. LOL The key is not to act on it and to have faith that the desire will pass just like PaperDolls said. Hope that helps.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Spain
Posts: 298
This has been explained to me by my psychiatrist (a pretty good one).
We have a so called "emotional brain" and a "rational brain". When you are craving, the emotional brain is suffering for whatever reasons (depression, solitude, anxiety, etc.) so it "screams" to the rational brain: "give me some alcohol, please, so I can bear this suffering, as I have always done". Then the rational brain tries to elaborate a justification: "Well, it is summer, everyone is having a good time" "It will be the last time" or something like that. The rational brain tries to delude itself through artificial arguments that could justify drinking, so as to relief the pain suffered by the emotional brain.
Therefore, it is important to stop those artificial arguments, saying to yourself repeatedly: "I dont want to drink. It is very harmful for me". "It causes me blackouts". "EVentually, it will kill me". "This is the rational way to cope with this, the other ideas are nonsenses". "If I drink, tomorrow I will feel very bad and will have to pass again that horrible detox" "I want to wake up without hangover", and so on.
We have a so called "emotional brain" and a "rational brain". When you are craving, the emotional brain is suffering for whatever reasons (depression, solitude, anxiety, etc.) so it "screams" to the rational brain: "give me some alcohol, please, so I can bear this suffering, as I have always done". Then the rational brain tries to elaborate a justification: "Well, it is summer, everyone is having a good time" "It will be the last time" or something like that. The rational brain tries to delude itself through artificial arguments that could justify drinking, so as to relief the pain suffered by the emotional brain.
Therefore, it is important to stop those artificial arguments, saying to yourself repeatedly: "I dont want to drink. It is very harmful for me". "It causes me blackouts". "EVentually, it will kill me". "This is the rational way to cope with this, the other ideas are nonsenses". "If I drink, tomorrow I will feel very bad and will have to pass again that horrible detox" "I want to wake up without hangover", and so on.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
Oh!! I agree with Mariano~last year I had a few sessions with a specialist and was told the same thing. There was an exercise prescribed to me. Look in the mirror each day and say this out loud to yourself: "When I drink, my life becomes unmanageable."
This helps to combat those arguments Mariano was talking about. Thanks Mariano for that useful post.
This helps to combat those arguments Mariano was talking about. Thanks Mariano for that useful post.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 513
Good thoughts Leo and Mariano! Thank you so much! Mariano your English is perfect - I can't imagine you would think its bad at all. :-)
I know I need to push through, I guess its all so new and whirling around my brain, I'm still coping with the idea that I am an addict. I mean, I know I've been an addict of many a thing, it just surprises me that it would be this...
Thank you all - you are a wonderful blanket for me to feel comfy and needed right now.
I know I need to push through, I guess its all so new and whirling around my brain, I'm still coping with the idea that I am an addict. I mean, I know I've been an addict of many a thing, it just surprises me that it would be this...
Thank you all - you are a wonderful blanket for me to feel comfy and needed right now.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: near Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 377
To Squishy Boots
Just pray, like me.
I ate my lunch at a local mall, and right across from me I counted 63 people going into, and out of, our local liquor store....rum, vodka, gin, C O L D beer, white wine, RED wine, coolers, you name it.
I had to rush back to the office for more coffee.
Kelly
I ate my lunch at a local mall, and right across from me I counted 63 people going into, and out of, our local liquor store....rum, vodka, gin, C O L D beer, white wine, RED wine, coolers, you name it.
I had to rush back to the office for more coffee.
Kelly
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Spain
Posts: 298
Mariano - we all agree on your English - super, super! Sorry about our "slang". That has to really throw you a curve.
Oh, I will have to change my signature to say "Sorry, english is not my first language", instead of "Sorry, my english is poor".
Yes slang is difficult, but I manage to understand it.
Oh, I will have to change my signature to say "Sorry, english is not my first language", instead of "Sorry, my english is poor".
Yes slang is difficult, but I manage to understand it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Mi
Posts: 292
Squishy
Hope you rested well last night and it is getting a little easier.
This week end will be difficult for all of us but it should still be a celebration. I am wishing/hoping/praying the witching hour angst will ease for you.
A picnic, a BBQ or simply watching the fireworks should be something to enjoy, not stress over. Easier to say but harder to do, I know. But please, breathe deep the fresh summer breeze and enjoy the week end.
May the 4th be with you.
Hope you rested well last night and it is getting a little easier.
This week end will be difficult for all of us but it should still be a celebration. I am wishing/hoping/praying the witching hour angst will ease for you.
A picnic, a BBQ or simply watching the fireworks should be something to enjoy, not stress over. Easier to say but harder to do, I know. But please, breathe deep the fresh summer breeze and enjoy the week end.
May the 4th be with you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 513
Good morning everyone! Yes I made it one more day! Thank you all for checking in, I love this thread. I went to work out last night and after I wolfed down dinner put kiddos to bed and went to bed. I'm not going to lie, on the way home I actually drove through the liquor store parking lot and it was screaming at me even after working out. But I made a left and kept going! Lets hope I'm that strong all weekend. :-) You guys are awesome!
How is everyone this morning? Are we all still here?
How is everyone this morning? Are we all still here?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 36
Has anyone here suggested exercise? It boosts your self esteem, takes your mind off things and gets the endorphins going. It will always make you feel better, without fail. Exercise is a huge part of my recovery. It doesn't have to be big exercise either. It can be getting up from your desk and taking a brisk walk around your building.
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