Back for the 2nd effort
 

:a043:Hello again I am back after my first fall and hopfully my last. I lasted 9 days last month before I took that first drink and within a week I was right back to where I was before 12-20 beers and 5-10 heavy shots. Ugh!!


So needless to say I had not been here awhile.

Till Friday the 17th I said lets do this again, this time while detoxing I ws wiolently ill, so sunday night monday morning I went to the ER instead of almost trying to die that way, like my last detox.

After I arrived at a still rest my blood pressure was 189/156 and a heart rate of 135 crazy huh thank god I went. So I stayed and was releaded with meds and went home and rested a couple days.


Now I made a appointment to get myelf a personal doc, which I have not had since I was a teenager, now 39 being in the restaruant bus. its real rare to ger health care.ut, since I lost my because of all this ****,at least now I can get almost free health care. Crazy it takes working all your life only to lose your job to get healthcare here in the beautiful US.!!!


Anyway by Friday I called a friend that I knew was involed in AA, and went to my first meeting ever Sat. Then looked in my welcome packet on Sun a saw one not to far from my home and last minute jumped on my bike as in bicycle adn rode up there.

Was definalitly scared to walk in by myself and almost left, but took a deep breath and walked through and just sat down, after words so happy I did not only did I hear a great lead that totally related to me I was proud of myself when I got home.Thats been a long time for that kind of feeling.:)


So tonight is yet another meeting at another new place so maybe after a week or so I can decide on a home!!!


I failed last time definality cause I thought I could do it by myself and there is absolutly now way for me to do that.


Thanks for letting me rant and it feels great to be back at SR,by the wqay if I make trough today that would be day 7, I should not say if today , cause I feel good its the days ahead I have to worry about when they come (no rush lol).


Peace:)

Glad you are back. The more the merrier.

You can make it through today - push yourself.

Each time I feel like drinking I come here and read - it's amazing how it occupies you but also helps you comprehend what's going through your mind....

Good for avoiding the "bad" voice ;)