365
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
365
Hi SR forum!
Today is exactly day 365 (thank you sobriety calculator), since I first found SR.
I have to say the journey of a year has seen tremendous changes in my life. I logged on here hungover as a dog, and I had the feeling of powerlessness and I needed support after being a binge drinker/hardcore yet functional alcoholic for the better part of 27 years.
Not only was I able to receive the support I needed I also learned that there are many paths to recovery. I deeply entrenched myself on this forum for hours a day, and in my time away from the forum I was reading and researching to find out why I drank the way I did and why I couldn't control my drinking.
I was able to find the answers to my issues, and learned why my brain reacts differently to alcohol. Then I started a regimented workout program which included a healthy diet and supplements. I, like many, also developed a sweet tooth for the first few months while I was white knuckling through the initial stages of abstinence.
After about 60 days my mindset changed from "I can't drink ever again", to "I don't want to drink ever again, and I like being sober". Once I was able to change my subconscious mind to believe that I don't want to drink is when I got the advantage in the battle. I still had to take action everyday, and I was aware of want I didn't want, (drinking), but I was focused on what I wanted, (sobriety, happiness and self improvement).
As I came to the forum daily I felt stronger and stronger, and I became outspoken on my method of being strong willed and focused, and I was told by a few here that I must not be a "real alcoholic", and it played with my mind a little. So at about 118 days sober I thought I was strong enough to test myself. The test had no result, I didn't continue drinking, I didn't get buzzed and I didn't enjoy it. But it opened the door for me to relax and lose my focus on what I really wanted, (sobriety and happiness). I tested myself about 6 times, over 2 month period all with the same results.
To make a long story short I ended up going on a 10 bender during the holidays, and I ended up in the ER detoxing. This was very scary and I thought I was going to die. But by testing myself that last time I received that answer that I wanted. I don't care who thinks I'm an alcoholic or a problem drinker or a heavy drinker, all I know is I never want to drink again, and sobriety equals happiness.
I now have about 190 days under my belt, and I have been abstinent for about 350 of the last 365 days. I am now committed to a sober life and I am loving every second of it. Yes, I still have to deal with life's issues, but I have found they are handled much better with a clear mind and a healthy body.
Some of the great changes that have occurred over the last year are I lost about 25 lbs, and I am in the best shape since I was in my early 20's, (I'm in my early 40's). I am no longer depressed, which I had been for the last 10 years. My marriage is stronger than ever, and my relationships with my friends and family are truly rewarding. I am now known in my circles as the sober positive guy who wants to talk about self improvement and coaching and peak performance in life, instead of the drunk party guy who never knew when to stop or when to leave.
I am now focused on living life to the fullest and making each day my masterpiece! Thank you SR!
Today is exactly day 365 (thank you sobriety calculator), since I first found SR.
I have to say the journey of a year has seen tremendous changes in my life. I logged on here hungover as a dog, and I had the feeling of powerlessness and I needed support after being a binge drinker/hardcore yet functional alcoholic for the better part of 27 years.
Not only was I able to receive the support I needed I also learned that there are many paths to recovery. I deeply entrenched myself on this forum for hours a day, and in my time away from the forum I was reading and researching to find out why I drank the way I did and why I couldn't control my drinking.
I was able to find the answers to my issues, and learned why my brain reacts differently to alcohol. Then I started a regimented workout program which included a healthy diet and supplements. I, like many, also developed a sweet tooth for the first few months while I was white knuckling through the initial stages of abstinence.
After about 60 days my mindset changed from "I can't drink ever again", to "I don't want to drink ever again, and I like being sober". Once I was able to change my subconscious mind to believe that I don't want to drink is when I got the advantage in the battle. I still had to take action everyday, and I was aware of want I didn't want, (drinking), but I was focused on what I wanted, (sobriety, happiness and self improvement).
As I came to the forum daily I felt stronger and stronger, and I became outspoken on my method of being strong willed and focused, and I was told by a few here that I must not be a "real alcoholic", and it played with my mind a little. So at about 118 days sober I thought I was strong enough to test myself. The test had no result, I didn't continue drinking, I didn't get buzzed and I didn't enjoy it. But it opened the door for me to relax and lose my focus on what I really wanted, (sobriety and happiness). I tested myself about 6 times, over 2 month period all with the same results.
To make a long story short I ended up going on a 10 bender during the holidays, and I ended up in the ER detoxing. This was very scary and I thought I was going to die. But by testing myself that last time I received that answer that I wanted. I don't care who thinks I'm an alcoholic or a problem drinker or a heavy drinker, all I know is I never want to drink again, and sobriety equals happiness.
I now have about 190 days under my belt, and I have been abstinent for about 350 of the last 365 days. I am now committed to a sober life and I am loving every second of it. Yes, I still have to deal with life's issues, but I have found they are handled much better with a clear mind and a healthy body.
Some of the great changes that have occurred over the last year are I lost about 25 lbs, and I am in the best shape since I was in my early 20's, (I'm in my early 40's). I am no longer depressed, which I had been for the last 10 years. My marriage is stronger than ever, and my relationships with my friends and family are truly rewarding. I am now known in my circles as the sober positive guy who wants to talk about self improvement and coaching and peak performance in life, instead of the drunk party guy who never knew when to stop or when to leave.
I am now focused on living life to the fullest and making each day my masterpiece! Thank you SR!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Thanks SH, BG and LLL!
I just wanted any newcomers to know that it can be done. When I got here after trying to quit on and off for the last 5 years, and seeing it progress to where it took over every aspect of my life, I really needed to find solutions, and I found them here. My drinking was the cause of every bad thing that had ever happened in my life for the last 27 years, and I thought I could not live without it. My whole life had been based on getting drunk. How would I ever survive? All my friends drink, all my family drinks, I drank to celebrate, to mourn to cure depression, when I was bored, to socialize, to do the yard work, to entertain clients......How would I survive without drinking??
Well if you want something bad enough and you focus on what you want, you will find a way. It wasn't easy, but it was more than worth it. It was tyruly the best thing I ever did for myself!
Thanks again!
I just wanted any newcomers to know that it can be done. When I got here after trying to quit on and off for the last 5 years, and seeing it progress to where it took over every aspect of my life, I really needed to find solutions, and I found them here. My drinking was the cause of every bad thing that had ever happened in my life for the last 27 years, and I thought I could not live without it. My whole life had been based on getting drunk. How would I ever survive? All my friends drink, all my family drinks, I drank to celebrate, to mourn to cure depression, when I was bored, to socialize, to do the yard work, to entertain clients......How would I survive without drinking??
Well if you want something bad enough and you focus on what you want, you will find a way. It wasn't easy, but it was more than worth it. It was tyruly the best thing I ever did for myself!
Thanks again!
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Thanks for sharing your story!!! I liked the part where you went from thinking you'd never drink again to that you didn't want to drink again. I am starting to feel the latter of what you said just TODAY, granted only moments of it but I NEVER thought I'd get to that moment. I am seriously in shock.
I do appreciate your honesty and taking us through your experience. I know there are people in my life who I hid the alcoholic me from and would be scratching their heads if I said I was an alcoholic but like you I don't care what they believe, I know my reality. I don't want to test it but I still have to be causious and take things one day at a time otherwise I get very overwhelmed.
Thanks again!
I do appreciate your honesty and taking us through your experience. I know there are people in my life who I hid the alcoholic me from and would be scratching their heads if I said I was an alcoholic but like you I don't care what they believe, I know my reality. I don't want to test it but I still have to be causious and take things one day at a time otherwise I get very overwhelmed.
Thanks again!
Congrats on your sobriety!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 351
Supercrew,
A super post thank you. I especially like the idea that each day is to be a masterpiece. I will take that into my tomorrow. It will be in my thoughts when I wake 'today I will create a masterpiece and not have that first drink'.
Chimp!
A super post thank you. I especially like the idea that each day is to be a masterpiece. I will take that into my tomorrow. It will be in my thoughts when I wake 'today I will create a masterpiece and not have that first drink'.
Chimp!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by Supercrew 
I was told by a few here that I must not be a "real alcoholic", and it played with my mind a little. So at about 118 days sober I thought I was strong enough to test myself. The test had no result, I didn't continue drinking, I didn't get buzzed and I didn't enjoy it. But it opened the door for me to relax and lose my focus on what I really wanted, (sobriety and happiness). I tested myself about 6 times, over 2 month period all with the same results.
To make a long story short I ended up going on a 10 bender during the holidays, and I ended up in the ER detoxing. This was very scary and I thought I was going to die. But by testing myself that last time I received that answer that I wanted. I don't care who thinks I'm an alcoholic or a problem drinker or a heavy drinker, all I know is I never want to drink again, and sobriety equals happiness.
To make a long story short I ended up going on a 10 bender during the holidays, and I ended up in the ER detoxing. This was very scary and I thought I was going to die. But by testing myself that last time I received that answer that I wanted. I don't care who thinks I'm an alcoholic or a problem drinker or a heavy drinker, all I know is I never want to drink again, and sobriety equals happiness.
Then you think "well, since nothing bad happened, I must not have a problem !!! I can stop this being careful business and drink like I really want to !!!"
And that's all she wrote...
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,878
Amazing progress Supercrew WTG 
!
True there many ways to live a life free from the influence of alcohol. As no one single recovery program is a correct remedy for everyone, included the use of jargon that is associated such program. I know, I had to learn that the hard way to discover this truth. But its all good now...I thank my lucky stars
for that.
!True there many ways to live a life free from the influence of alcohol. As no one single recovery program is a correct remedy for everyone, included the use of jargon that is associated such program. I know, I had to learn that the hard way to discover this truth. But its all good now...I thank my lucky stars
for that.
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