Where do I start?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 16
Where do I start?
I'm 24 and probably would not meet the diagnostic criteria for alcohol dependence, but I would for alcohol abuse. I don't drink nearly as much as I used to, and am in more control than I used to be, but I still want to stop drinking. But I feel like if I try, I know I'll fail because I haven't gotten into any "real" trouble from drinking. Each time I drink, it does not seem to matter how much, I feel more and more sick the next day. I rarely vomit, but frequently black out. I've tried making sure I drink lots of water, take a vitamin the night I'm drinking and one the next morning. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. I hate my drinking behaviors. Once I have more than 2 drinks I pretty much cannot stop drinking unless I feel sick to my stomach.
This Friday I went on a binge with some friends (I'm under an incredible amount of stress - I'm in middle of finding out whether my partner for the past 3+ years will be leaving me and I'm about to move across the country to go back to school). I have been incredibly sick to my stomach for the past 36 hours and still feel horrible today. I did not drink yesterday. I also have gotten just over one hour of sleep, I just could not sleep (not even nap). Last night my teeth were chattering even though it was well into the 80's temperature wise. Also my legs kept shaking (and sometimes hands). Again, I'm sure this is partially stress related, but still.
Alcohol and substance abuse run in my family. I have a brother who has sought treatment and multiple other members in my family have had serious drinking issues. I've also now had 2 significant others with substance abuse problems.
I am afraid to go to AA or anything because I'm afraid people might not consider me a "real alcoholic" and look down on me. Any advice or ideas on how to start? On how to keep motivated? I know I hate my drinking behavior, but since I've never gotten in trouble for drinking, legally or with any of my relationships, it's hard for me to stay motivated after a relatively short period of sobriety. It's also a lot harder because most of my friends drink heavily as well. I need to get in control of this before I move, especially if my partner does not move with me. Being alone and stressed in a new city and having unsafe drinking habits is not acceptable.
How do I start?
This Friday I went on a binge with some friends (I'm under an incredible amount of stress - I'm in middle of finding out whether my partner for the past 3+ years will be leaving me and I'm about to move across the country to go back to school). I have been incredibly sick to my stomach for the past 36 hours and still feel horrible today. I did not drink yesterday. I also have gotten just over one hour of sleep, I just could not sleep (not even nap). Last night my teeth were chattering even though it was well into the 80's temperature wise. Also my legs kept shaking (and sometimes hands). Again, I'm sure this is partially stress related, but still.
Alcohol and substance abuse run in my family. I have a brother who has sought treatment and multiple other members in my family have had serious drinking issues. I've also now had 2 significant others with substance abuse problems.
I am afraid to go to AA or anything because I'm afraid people might not consider me a "real alcoholic" and look down on me. Any advice or ideas on how to start? On how to keep motivated? I know I hate my drinking behavior, but since I've never gotten in trouble for drinking, legally or with any of my relationships, it's hard for me to stay motivated after a relatively short period of sobriety. It's also a lot harder because most of my friends drink heavily as well. I need to get in control of this before I move, especially if my partner does not move with me. Being alone and stressed in a new city and having unsafe drinking habits is not acceptable.
How do I start?
to SR
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: va
Posts: 10
been there
I am 29 now and didnt touch alcohol until i was 19. I was nicknaked the "2 beer queer" (hopefully noone takes offense to that.) Anyway I started of binging and sometimes puking......but built a tolerance. mind u I didnt drink everyday....but eventually my bingeing became nights of blacking out....NOT GoOD! I did soo many things I regret and am ashamed of while i was blacked out, including having sex with strangers, beating people up, and even breaking my arm trying to jump a fence. Anyways...to the pointnow girl, it starts off as binge drinking with friends but it evolved. I now have SEVERE anxiety! it has become a circle. I have anxiety, i drink to calm my nerves, i black out, get into a fight or get naked or just pass out.....then i wake up with a hangover and severe anxirty and i need a xanax and then the cycle starts again. Also, by the way, I dont drink everyday. I am still a binge drinker. I cannot have 1 glass of wine. Actually the first drink usually makes me feel sick and anxious, so i keep going to feel calm. I dont know what the definition of alcoholism is, but regardless of the fact that i NEVER drink during the day and i dont drink everyday i am def and alcy and need help. I have been sobed with a docs help since friday.....what an awful day to quit, I cant tell u how bad i wanted 1 last weekend.....my anxiety is so bad im snapping at everyone! but i hope it will all pass because when i am sober im healthy and happy......good luck and if u feel u need help get it, but u have to want it or not be able to live with the axiety which was my bresking point, i hate feeling like im going to die everyday. hope all is well and you can get healthy
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: va
Posts: 10
Aa
by the way....dont be afraid of AA....i was scared to go as well....like im not really that bad they are going to think "uh why is she here?" it is sooo not like that....the people are very very nice and accepting. I will say that u may be younger than most, i know i am.....but they dont care, they will be very supportive, i promise that. it def worth a try and its anonymous if u hate it u never have to go back and noone will ever know!
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 122
Originally Posted by runsinthefamily 
I am afraid to go to AA or anything because I'm afraid people might not consider me a "real alcoholic" and look down on me.
In any AA group, there are probably people who drank less than you did and probably people who drank more.
Alcoholism is not defined by how often you drink or by how much you drink. If it is defined by anything, it is by the fact that you have a lack of control over your drinking.
The only thing you would be doing by going to AA now would be getting off the merry-go-round before your problems get worse. This is a progressive condition and I and every other AA I know have nothing but the greatest respect for people who had the wisdom to recognise this in themselves before they got to the sleeping-on-the-street stage.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome to SR - I don't think you have to worry about not being "bad enough"...... I've never had any of those things happen to me either (DUI, relationship stuff, etc). Only had one blackout.
It's really not about the facts and figures of our drinking. It's about what happens to us after a drink or two. We lose the ability to stop - the more we drink the more we want to drink. Obviously it's not going to end well, so the sooner we get off the merry-go-round, the better.
You said you're not physically addicted - I didn't think I was either. But hangovers are, in essence, withdrawal symptoms. The insomnia, night sweats, shaking, feeling ill, anxiety etc, are all pretty typical ones. So you're really just going through withdrawal after each drinking session (instead of having a drink to keep the symptoms at bay). I didn't know any of this either, until I started educating myself on alcoholism. I could relate to your post because before I finally decided to stop drinking, my "hangovers" seemed a lot worse than what I had in the past after consuming the same amount of alcohol. I couldn't snap back after half a day anymore.
Hope you hang around - I've learned so much here and it's a great support system. AA is great as well and believe me, it's really not about what stage of alcoholism anyone is at. As they say, it's an elevator going down and it's up to us to decide what floor we want to get off on. Hang in there!
It's really not about the facts and figures of our drinking. It's about what happens to us after a drink or two. We lose the ability to stop - the more we drink the more we want to drink. Obviously it's not going to end well, so the sooner we get off the merry-go-round, the better.
You said you're not physically addicted - I didn't think I was either. But hangovers are, in essence, withdrawal symptoms. The insomnia, night sweats, shaking, feeling ill, anxiety etc, are all pretty typical ones. So you're really just going through withdrawal after each drinking session (instead of having a drink to keep the symptoms at bay). I didn't know any of this either, until I started educating myself on alcoholism. I could relate to your post because before I finally decided to stop drinking, my "hangovers" seemed a lot worse than what I had in the past after consuming the same amount of alcohol. I couldn't snap back after half a day anymore.
Hope you hang around - I've learned so much here and it's a great support system. AA is great as well and believe me, it's really not about what stage of alcoholism anyone is at. As they say, it's an elevator going down and it's up to us to decide what floor we want to get off on. Hang in there!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,424
some great advice here runsinthefamily 
I always recommend people start with their Dr - detox can sometimes be problematic for some of us - especially if you've drunk heavily and regularly for a while, regardless of whether it was every day or not
Welcome aboard
D
I always recommend people start with their Dr - detox can sometimes be problematic for some of us - especially if you've drunk heavily and regularly for a while, regardless of whether it was every day or not
Welcome aboard
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Martinsville, Ohio
Posts: 79
SR is a great place to start, it has helped me.
An AA group with people your age and your question would be another great place to work on your desire to stop drinking. I meet many your age and wonder "what if" I had done that at your age and quickly put that away and deal with myself today one day at a time.
AA continues to help me.
I think you will learn the rest from there.
An AA group with people your age and your question would be another great place to work on your desire to stop drinking. I meet many your age and wonder "what if" I had done that at your age and quickly put that away and deal with myself today one day at a time.
AA continues to help me.
I think you will learn the rest from there.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Spain
Posts: 298
- Teeth chattering
-- Legs (and hands) shaking
-- Blackouts
-- Troubles from drinking
-- Can't stop once you have a drink
-- "Incredibly sick" to your stomach when not drinking
-- Cannot sleep
-- Feeling horrible
Man, I think here are quite a lot of evidences of alcohol addiction. Normal drinkers (or even "non-alcoholic heavy drinkers") don't experience these problems. Don't be afraid. You meet all the criteria to go to AA. I have been in AA and nobody looked down on me, even when I had no shakes, no blackout and no sweats. The ONLY requirement for being in AA is the desire to stop drinking. You are only 24. Normally these problems get much more worse over time if not treated. Dont be afraid, anyone in AA would say you are not an alcoholic. What is the definition of "alcoholic"? It is a person who has problems from drinking and cannot stop. It is a person who, once he takes a drink, he cannot stop. If you meet these criteria, you are a full flown alcoholic.
Sorry, my english is not very good.
-- Legs (and hands) shaking
-- Blackouts
-- Troubles from drinking
-- Can't stop once you have a drink
-- "Incredibly sick" to your stomach when not drinking
-- Cannot sleep
-- Feeling horrible
Man, I think here are quite a lot of evidences of alcohol addiction. Normal drinkers (or even "non-alcoholic heavy drinkers") don't experience these problems. Don't be afraid. You meet all the criteria to go to AA. I have been in AA and nobody looked down on me, even when I had no shakes, no blackout and no sweats. The ONLY requirement for being in AA is the desire to stop drinking. You are only 24. Normally these problems get much more worse over time if not treated. Dont be afraid, anyone in AA would say you are not an alcoholic. What is the definition of "alcoholic"? It is a person who has problems from drinking and cannot stop. It is a person who, once he takes a drink, he cannot stop. If you meet these criteria, you are a full flown alcoholic.
Sorry, my english is not very good.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Spain
Posts: 298
Here is a test to help you decide wether or not you are an alcoholic. It is a test used in AA:
Twenty Questions of AA That helped decide I was alcoholic Help for Alcoholics alcoholism addiction treatment and recovery
If you answered YES to three or more questions, you are definitely an alcoholic.
(The test questions are used at Johns Hopkins University Hospital, Baltimore, MD, in deciding whether or not a patient is an alcoholic).
Sorry, my english is not very good.
Twenty Questions of AA That helped decide I was alcoholic Help for Alcoholics alcoholism addiction treatment and recovery
If you answered YES to three or more questions, you are definitely an alcoholic.
(The test questions are used at Johns Hopkins University Hospital, Baltimore, MD, in deciding whether or not a patient is an alcoholic).
Sorry, my english is not very good.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 169
I am in the same position, runs. I am 25, and wishing for the last 10 years that I could stop this horrible habit. I too am too scared to go to AA, and honestly I probably will not go. I am not sure what withdrawal is like, but it kinda sounds like your symptoms could be from not drinking last night, as well as stress related. Again, I do not know though as I have not gone without drinking for probably 5 years, since my miscarriage. I am bad, I know. But at least I know and I am now consciously (and publicly) going to fight this battle. Trying is all that matters. Just keep at it
Also, if you are only scared to go to AA because you think they may look down on you, GO! They will not, I promise. And AA will probably help you so much, I wish I would go
but I am sure my husband might think I am crazy if I do. Sounds terrible huh? but I think we (hubby and I) are both in denial about our alcoholism. Although, I am not in denial anymore. I am going to do this and get control over my life back. It is so exciting
I am rooting for you - a new life in a new town needs to be with you feeling your best, you will thank yourself in the long run. So do what you have to do!
Also, if you are only scared to go to AA because you think they may look down on you, GO! They will not, I promise. And AA will probably help you so much, I wish I would go
but I am sure my husband might think I am crazy if I do. Sounds terrible huh? but I think we (hubby and I) are both in denial about our alcoholism. Although, I am not in denial anymore. I am going to do this and get control over my life back. It is so exciting I am rooting for you - a new life in a new town needs to be with you feeling your best, you will thank yourself in the long run. So do what you have to do!
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