Total awesomeness today, and some extreme difficulty
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Total awesomeness today, and some extreme difficulty
Awesomeness:
My son and I have done martial arts together for well over a year. I've been overweight, and my reaction time has never been good while sparring (practice fighting with pads on your arms, feet. etc.)
My forms have also always lacked a "snap" or quick motions.
6th day sober. Today, both of those things were GREATLY improved. While sparring a much higher rank than me (who usually destroys me) I held my own. I observed my own form while I was doing it, and was EXTREMELY amazed.
The havoc on your nervous system from drinking translates into every part of your life, even if you're not buzzed while doing it. I'm already seeing some of it come back. I want MORE!
Difficulty:
One of the kids from martial arts had a birthday party today so I was there with my son hanging out with all of the other parents and the instructor. It's a nice social group. Most of the adults started drinking wine after a while, and most of them had beers beforehand. The beers were easy to avoid. They never really got me drunk, so I mainly used beers as a chaser for something harder.
When the wine came out, the smell, the ritual, started getting to me. I told one of the parents why I wasn't drinking, but didn't want to ruin the good time by being a downer for the rest of the parents, so I didn't mention it.
It was very tempting, but I didn't give in. I'm so happy.
A sign that you have good friends: When they ask if you want some wine, and you decline, that's the end of it. A number of my other friends (not in this group) would say, "c'mon, you can just have a glass of wine."
I know that one glass leads to a glass... bottle. And then more. The next thing you would know is that I'm doing shots. I cannot take the first drink.
Now that I'm back home, I am glad that I was able to be strong. Here in Utah, only beer is sold on Sundays, so this weekend has been officially been sober. First sober weekend in years.
Damn it, I want that 30 day chip, and once I get it, it's all about that 60 day chip.
6 days in is a fifth of the way there.
Another 24 hours for me please. Thank you!
My son and I have done martial arts together for well over a year. I've been overweight, and my reaction time has never been good while sparring (practice fighting with pads on your arms, feet. etc.)
My forms have also always lacked a "snap" or quick motions.
6th day sober. Today, both of those things were GREATLY improved. While sparring a much higher rank than me (who usually destroys me) I held my own. I observed my own form while I was doing it, and was EXTREMELY amazed.
The havoc on your nervous system from drinking translates into every part of your life, even if you're not buzzed while doing it. I'm already seeing some of it come back. I want MORE!
Difficulty:
One of the kids from martial arts had a birthday party today so I was there with my son hanging out with all of the other parents and the instructor. It's a nice social group. Most of the adults started drinking wine after a while, and most of them had beers beforehand. The beers were easy to avoid. They never really got me drunk, so I mainly used beers as a chaser for something harder.
When the wine came out, the smell, the ritual, started getting to me. I told one of the parents why I wasn't drinking, but didn't want to ruin the good time by being a downer for the rest of the parents, so I didn't mention it.
It was very tempting, but I didn't give in. I'm so happy.
A sign that you have good friends: When they ask if you want some wine, and you decline, that's the end of it. A number of my other friends (not in this group) would say, "c'mon, you can just have a glass of wine."
I know that one glass leads to a glass... bottle. And then more. The next thing you would know is that I'm doing shots. I cannot take the first drink.
Now that I'm back home, I am glad that I was able to be strong. Here in Utah, only beer is sold on Sundays, so this weekend has been officially been sober. First sober weekend in years.
Damn it, I want that 30 day chip, and once I get it, it's all about that 60 day chip.
6 days in is a fifth of the way there.
Another 24 hours for me please. Thank you!
Glad you got through the day, Jose! Realizing that I'm screwed after the first drink was a real turning point for me. It's 'as easy as' saying no to #1. Then the moment passes and life goes on.
Here's to another 24 hours!
Here's to another 24 hours!
Congratulations to you! I wonder if "normies" will ever understand what a victory NOT drinking at a party is.
And I totally agree about the muscle reflexes. I ride horses--barrel horses. And yesterday, six days sober, I was riding my young gelding outside for the first time this year. We were galloping in a circle and he was chargy. I keep lunging against the bit and really felt like riding a freight train. Exhilerating. Then he came out of a turn and lunged hard and bucked a little bit--not to throw me but to celebrate his own good feelings.
If I hadn't been good and sober, my body would not have automatically done the three or four absolutely necessary things: deeper seat, grab horn, check reins, warn him verbally.
Incidentally, if we know that we cannot do these specialized things while drinking, even two or three days (or five) after, how can we work, take care of children, or drive a car?
Great post. Thanks for reminding me.
And I totally agree about the muscle reflexes. I ride horses--barrel horses. And yesterday, six days sober, I was riding my young gelding outside for the first time this year. We were galloping in a circle and he was chargy. I keep lunging against the bit and really felt like riding a freight train. Exhilerating. Then he came out of a turn and lunged hard and bucked a little bit--not to throw me but to celebrate his own good feelings.
If I hadn't been good and sober, my body would not have automatically done the three or four absolutely necessary things: deeper seat, grab horn, check reins, warn him verbally.
Incidentally, if we know that we cannot do these specialized things while drinking, even two or three days (or five) after, how can we work, take care of children, or drive a car?
Great post. Thanks for reminding me.
Good job Jose!
I don't have any issues with being around drinkers or smokers even though I quit both. My wife is a normie as Missy put it, and she keeps scotch and smokes in the house and certainly can drink and smoke in front of me. If she quit smoking and drinking and I didn't we would probably be divorced if she tried to limit my choices as an adult or try to preach or stop me. It really isn't an issue with me and I think I know why. My sobriety is not conditional. It is unconditional sobriety. I know for a fact that I was killing myself, and would probably not be here now had I continued drinking the last nine months.
My survival is not conditional on my not having alcohol available if I want it. My survival is not conditional on the absence of temptation. My survival is not conditional on the behavior of others good or bad.
Did I use survival interchangeably with sobriety? You bet!
Now that my survival needs have been met I can enjoy the higher steps on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. And they include experiencing all of my senses and joy, and yes pain too.
A wiser man than me once said "Given a choice between pain and nothingness, I choose pain every time.
Being in full control physically is a bonus that never stops giving! Especially when things are easy that once were hard or impossible.
I don't have any issues with being around drinkers or smokers even though I quit both. My wife is a normie as Missy put it, and she keeps scotch and smokes in the house and certainly can drink and smoke in front of me. If she quit smoking and drinking and I didn't we would probably be divorced if she tried to limit my choices as an adult or try to preach or stop me. It really isn't an issue with me and I think I know why. My sobriety is not conditional. It is unconditional sobriety. I know for a fact that I was killing myself, and would probably not be here now had I continued drinking the last nine months.
My survival is not conditional on my not having alcohol available if I want it. My survival is not conditional on the absence of temptation. My survival is not conditional on the behavior of others good or bad.
Did I use survival interchangeably with sobriety? You bet!
Now that my survival needs have been met I can enjoy the higher steps on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. And they include experiencing all of my senses and joy, and yes pain too.
A wiser man than me once said "Given a choice between pain and nothingness, I choose pain every time.
Being in full control physically is a bonus that never stops giving! Especially when things are easy that once were hard or impossible.
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