New here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2
New here
Not a moment too soon. I am struggling with alcohol and Xanax addiction. I checked myself into detox June 7th and was in for a week. I was very confident I could beat it this time. I have been attending meetings and reading all I can to learn about my addiction.
Last night I had a bad relapse. I found some Xanax that I guess I had stashed away. That led me to the bright idea of getting some vodka to wash it down. So I made it through 10 days of sobriety before screwing up again.
My wife has got to be about done with me, and I don't know what I am going to do to try to make things right. Feeling lost and ashamed, scared and at the end of my rope.
I am hoping putting this into words will help me deal with this better.
Going to be doing a lot of reading here today and see what I can learn.Thanks for listening. I just hope it is not too late for me.
CT
Last night I had a bad relapse. I found some Xanax that I guess I had stashed away. That led me to the bright idea of getting some vodka to wash it down. So I made it through 10 days of sobriety before screwing up again.
My wife has got to be about done with me, and I don't know what I am going to do to try to make things right. Feeling lost and ashamed, scared and at the end of my rope.
I am hoping putting this into words will help me deal with this better.
Going to be doing a lot of reading here today and see what I can learn.Thanks for listening. I just hope it is not too late for me.
CT
Best After Date:June 12, 2011
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Canadian
Posts: 123
Nothing to learn except that using again made you feel way worse about yourself physically and emotionally. I'm sure the previous 10 days were all about being proud and accomplished, even if it was the hardest thing you may have ever done. Which would you rather feel? The choice is giving in and feelign doom and gloom about a future full of daily drug and alcohol abuse, or toughing it out and looking forward to a future of hapiness and satisfying accomplishments.
Can you change yesterday? No. Can you change what you do today? Absolutely!! All you have to do is worry about today. One day at a time.
Can you change yesterday? No. Can you change what you do today? Absolutely!! All you have to do is worry about today. One day at a time.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
welcome cap - Today's a new day and another chance to move forward......
It's hard to deal with emotionally, but try not to beat yourself up. You found this forum and are reaching out for help - that's a real positive! Addiction is a humbling disease and most of us have been through something similar.
Glad you're here...... It's so helpful to have this kind of support at our fingertips 24 hours a day. Hang in there - it gets better!
It's hard to deal with emotionally, but try not to beat yourself up. You found this forum and are reaching out for help - that's a real positive! Addiction is a humbling disease and most of us have been through something similar.
Glad you're here...... It's so helpful to have this kind of support at our fingertips 24 hours a day. Hang in there - it gets better!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2
I don't know why I relapsed, that is the most baffling thing. I was feeling so good about myself and was so determined to never use again. My addiction is very cunning and dangerous, and I tricked myself into "just one" which led to a lot more.
All I can do at this point is start over and try again. My next meeting is Tuesday, which seems like a long time off. I am dreading my wife getting home from work, I have no idea what to expect. I can only imagine how angry and disappointed she is with me. She deserves so much better. I just feel lost and hopeless. Guess I can just take it one day at a time, and try to be stronger and be the good person I know I can be.
Thank you for the words of encouragement, it is good to know that I am not alone. I just really hope I have not blown it completely this time, I want more than anything to beat this.
All I can do at this point is start over and try again. My next meeting is Tuesday, which seems like a long time off. I am dreading my wife getting home from work, I have no idea what to expect. I can only imagine how angry and disappointed she is with me. She deserves so much better. I just feel lost and hopeless. Guess I can just take it one day at a time, and try to be stronger and be the good person I know I can be.
Thank you for the words of encouragement, it is good to know that I am not alone. I just really hope I have not blown it completely this time, I want more than anything to beat this.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
Welcome Capt 
My advice is to get all the support you can - not sure what meeting you're going to but if it's 12 step, I know there's NA/AA meetings everywhere, and a lot before Tuesday I'm guessing...may not be the same group. but help is help
I think we can do more than just hope CT y'know - I really encourage you to think about what you can do, what action you can take today - we get out what we put in
D
My advice is to get all the support you can - not sure what meeting you're going to but if it's 12 step, I know there's NA/AA meetings everywhere, and a lot before Tuesday I'm guessing...may not be the same group. but help is help
I think we can do more than just hope CT y'know - I really encourage you to think about what you can do, what action you can take today - we get out what we put in
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi and Welcome,
I also think it's important to figure out how the relapse occurred. That way, you can learn and not let that happen again. And, it's always good to remember that stopping the drinking/drugs is the beginning and then the hard work begins. There is lots of support here, so I hope you continue to read and post.
I also think it's important to figure out how the relapse occurred. That way, you can learn and not let that happen again. And, it's always good to remember that stopping the drinking/drugs is the beginning and then the hard work begins. There is lots of support here, so I hope you continue to read and post.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
