Please help me
 

:c021:Please help me, I can't stand who I've become. I used to be a drug addict, now I'm an alcoholic. My mother was one and I swore I wouldn't be that person. But here I am with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old and I'm that person. I hate myself...

Only you can help yourself, we can be here for support and guidance along the way. Do you have a plan to quit drinking? It can be done there are lots of people here to prove that. Make the choice today to stop drinking. Welcome to the group, I'm glad you found us.

Welcome, KLJ. I'm glad you're here!

Please take a breath, we'll get through this. Are any lessons, techniques, etc. from your previous drug addiction useful here?

Never lose this sense of urgency, but take heart that you still have plenty of time to be an awesome mom.

Being here is a good first step to improving your life and your childrens

Welcome KL
What have you tried so far as support?

Seeing your Dr is always a good first step I think - detox can be problematic for some of us.

Recovery groups like AA or others like SMART can be helpful too, as can counselling, and there's always inpatient or outpatient rehab, if you think you need it.

You'll find a lot of support and ideas here too :)

Welcome!

D

Welcome KLJ...glad you're here and sorry you feel miserable about yourself. I found that quitting made everything feel better. Wishing you peace and strength.

Welcome, if you want to get sober this is a great place to hang out. Keep reading and posting.

Welcome to SR

Welcome KLJ - Alcohol eroded most of my self-esteem, too. I was amazed to find that once I got sober, the positive feelings came back.

You're not alone. We know what it feels like.:grouphug:

We do know what it's like. Welcome to SR.

Thank you all so much for your support. I never thought I would end up here. The last few years have been tough. I work full time, school full time, two toddlers and not a great marriage most days. SO excuses aside, you are all correct. I need to get back to where I was. The easy part for me is all day, the hard part for me is when I get home. The first thing I go for is the liquor and it will continue until I go to bed. I get up and do it all over again. I'm bloated, emotional, and not the healthy person I had become when pregnant. I had a job that allowed me to see the worst side of people for 2 years, a lot of death. I'm sure this is another reason I have gotten to this point. Today is a new day and I need to move forward. Thank you all so much for your support. I will continue to post here for a while!

I am a mom of two little ones as well. It was not easy but when I realized I needed help and then actually got help, things got so much better. My help is the program of AA, a good therapist, taking care of my health. Those people in AA know how to get and stay sober when I hadn't a clue. There are other programs of recovery too should you need help with this.

You're not alone. There are lots of moms here. Just keep coming back.

EVERYTHING you said is true in my life as well. Well, a 5 year old and a 2 year old.
You are not alone. We can do this.

You have a ton on your plate! 42 days ago I put up a post like this. Hugs!!!! I'm glad you found us.

You're not alone KL.

You guys are great - there is more support here than I've had in a long time. My husband just told me this morning I'm just emotional, that's my problem. We can stop drinking any time. Well it hasn't worked yet has it! ugh, I'm ashamed my children see me the way I am at night. I swore I would always be the best influence for them forever.

One foot in front of the other...

One foot in front of the other ...

And one day at a time. Just don't drink today. (That's what I'm going to do.) Glad you're here.

Hang in there squishy. Each day is important.

So much of what children remember is generalized. They are really young and there is plenty of time to make sure they remember you the way you want to be remembered.

If I was you I would establish a really firm dinner routine and never falter. Also, never drink before dinner. Then you have put it off. I too used to drink on hitting the door. Then it was effectively over. So, if you are just in the stopping stage, and you are working with a husband who isn't really "on the boat," just saying, "no drinks before dinner" puts it off. Then you can function in a positive way and keep pushing back.

I need to research that wisdom we have all heard about breaking and making habits. I'm currently doing both and if I can do it, you can do it. And you have those kids to think of. That's motivation.

Squishy,
I like your start in that you already pushed your excuses aside and have drug addiction experience to fall back on. What are you thinking will be your recovery plan aside from here? Obviously your spouse knows about it, but your kids will have little recollection if any if you stop now. That is a good thing in that they won't have memories of you as you mentioned you have of your mom. You are in the right place, at the right time, and have everything to quit for.
We will be here for you.