hello I am new and trying
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: london
Posts: 7
hello I am new and trying
Hello,
I am an alcohol. sort of on day two now but over the past three weeks i have got to day two four or five times so looking forward to day three:-)
I am one of the clever ones, firstly I got into a relationship with a tetotal muslim (it lasted for 11 years) there were two flaws in this decision, the first is if i were serious about being able to drink then I should have realised that it was a bad move. The second was that I managed to convince myself that threatening to leave, smashing all the bottles of alcohol that i thought i had snuck into my shopping in the middle of the supermarket car park were all his issues about anger. What else could it be, the bloke was totally unreasonable, anybody that lived with somebody like that well of course they would drink.
Even when they had bought the ticket to return to Indonesia I still thought they were just having an unreasonable rage.
Well six weeks later having gone on the mother of all benders, tried to commit suicide, it was more of a token gesture i wasn't even sober enough to do that properly. I suddenly realised my part in all of this. My drinking has made two people so unhappy. I will stop and i want to stop, but the problem is that when i do stop the enormity of what i have done is just too painful. Just dont now how to deal with that pain at the moment
Help!
I am an alcohol. sort of on day two now but over the past three weeks i have got to day two four or five times so looking forward to day three:-)
I am one of the clever ones, firstly I got into a relationship with a tetotal muslim (it lasted for 11 years) there were two flaws in this decision, the first is if i were serious about being able to drink then I should have realised that it was a bad move. The second was that I managed to convince myself that threatening to leave, smashing all the bottles of alcohol that i thought i had snuck into my shopping in the middle of the supermarket car park were all his issues about anger. What else could it be, the bloke was totally unreasonable, anybody that lived with somebody like that well of course they would drink.
Even when they had bought the ticket to return to Indonesia I still thought they were just having an unreasonable rage.
Well six weeks later having gone on the mother of all benders, tried to commit suicide, it was more of a token gesture i wasn't even sober enough to do that properly. I suddenly realised my part in all of this. My drinking has made two people so unhappy. I will stop and i want to stop, but the problem is that when i do stop the enormity of what i have done is just too painful. Just dont now how to deal with that pain at the moment
Help!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
Katpoo,
My suggestion to you would be to tackle one thing at a time. The first task at hand is for you to get sober. After you have some time in sobriety, you can make amends for your behavior and the harm you have caused. Right now, a mumbling apology and an expression of remorse isn't going to mean very much. Are you attending AA meetings?
Susan
My suggestion to you would be to tackle one thing at a time. The first task at hand is for you to get sober. After you have some time in sobriety, you can make amends for your behavior and the harm you have caused. Right now, a mumbling apology and an expression of remorse isn't going to mean very much. Are you attending AA meetings?
Susan
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
Katpoo (great name!)
I am sorry you are going through this but welcome to SR. First, read lots of posts and you will see that alcohol is such a bad influence in our lives that every one of us has regrets we will carry with us for a long time. I imagine people who are not on SR have lot of regrets too, so we are at least trying.
Now. One of the things that people on SR say all the time, and which seems important for you, is that yesterday is gone. There is nothing to be done about it. We must work on today. This is it. So, be sober. Take care of yourself. Tomorrow will be better.
Then you can begin to think about what can be done to repair the damage, first to yourself, then to others.
I hope you are feeling better.
I am sorry you are going through this but welcome to SR. First, read lots of posts and you will see that alcohol is such a bad influence in our lives that every one of us has regrets we will carry with us for a long time. I imagine people who are not on SR have lot of regrets too, so we are at least trying.
Now. One of the things that people on SR say all the time, and which seems important for you, is that yesterday is gone. There is nothing to be done about it. We must work on today. This is it. So, be sober. Take care of yourself. Tomorrow will be better.
Then you can begin to think about what can be done to repair the damage, first to yourself, then to others.
I hope you are feeling better.
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