harleybluz

First step to not drinking. I don't drink during the week but I cannot stop on the weekends. I'm scared to death to go without a drink tomorrow (Friday) and will not even worry about Sat. until it gets here. I've been drinking since I was 15 yrs old and way too much then as well as now. I'm am now 54 yrs old. I feel sick, tired and have way too many aches and pains for my age. I know where it's all coming from. I know I need to stop for good. I know I drink too much even though my husband thinks I drink little and only on weekends so I'm being responsible. I know I have blackouts, high blood pressure and cholesterol. What I don't know if how to stop all this madness. I don't have a computer at home to get on this board this weekend but will try to borrow one. I think that I'll need you all especially when my husband and brother will be pool side with beers, lots of them. Wish me luck. I really want this.

Mark75

Welcome.

Stopping the madness... yes. It is more than just the drink.

But, first things first... detox? Have you considered this?

1undone

If you don't have any support I honestly don't know how you are going to make it. If your family is pool-side with alcohol and you are there the obsessive thoughts will win. I hate to say this and I'm not trying to be a "Debbie Downer." This is coming from my own experiences, I always start with the best of intentions but I am a true alcoholic and I can't be in the situation you describe because I will drink. And I do have a pool. LOL

In AA they tell us to stay in the moment and to only say, "I'm not drinking today" - to put off the obsession as long as possible. Can you go somewhere else this weekend? Change of plans could help.

Again this comes from my experience. I always have the best of intentions but if you were to put me in your situation exactly I know I'd probably drink. Even with my over 40 days of sobriety. Ugh! I hate this.

harleybluz

No. Any suggestions?

harleybluz

Good idea. I could take off alone and go to the mountains. It's my place of serenity and since I will not drink and drive and I'll be driving, it's as good a place to start as any. Thanks for the advise.

1undone

That would be beautiful! Do you have a sober buddy that could hang with you? I really hope you have a peaceful and happy weekend.

EmeraldRose

Not only did I have to stop drinking, I had to change my thinking about the drinking. I had to come to understand within myself that my drinking was keeping me from getting ahead in my life, making me feel like crap and that I really wanted sobriety more than another bottle. I found that stopping was a process and I started and stopped many many times until the last time when my life was becoming unmanagable.
Stopping and making the decision is the first step but having temptation so close will be very difficult in the long run unless you can get to some AA or a support program. Running to the mountains can be a very inspirational time and a great place to reflect on yourself --but when you get back you haven't changed anything.
And if you have trouble detoxing you will be all alone and could be in trouble.
Changing habits starts at home really. You need to sit your husband down and tell him your plans if he thinks you have a problem or not. If doesn't matter as long as YOU think you have the problem. Don't let him sway you if you have made this decision.
Wishing you peace and strength.

Mark75

Well, if you are drinking a lot, and that's relative, so it may not seem like much to us , you could get into trouble with withdrawals... seizures and other ugly stuff. If you have any reason to be concerned, see a physician.

harleybluz

My whole life has been drinking with my husband (for 21 yrs anyway). I don't even know anyone who does not drink. I've surrounded myself with like minds as we all seem to do. Maybe I'll meet someone at this meeting on Saturday. It's a "Woman's only" meeting which will make it easier to talk about the finer points of drinking as a woman. I don't mind mixed meetings but I think for the first one, I'll try just woman.

thirtybubba

Welcome!

I go to both kinds of meetings, but usually only share at the women's meetings... I find it more comfortable there even though I don't usually have anything woman-specific to share on.

I hope you do meet other sober women that you can hang out with. It definitely makes being sober easier!

Take care,
TB

nandm

Welcome to SR

Missy7

HarleyBluz--I too live a life surrounded by people drinking--including my main drinking buddy, my husband. So we face similar challenges, but I think it can be done. I started in April and have been on about a six day cycle, but at least that has helped with the detox. If you really want this, you can avoid that cycle better than I have, but I do feel like I'm on my way right now.

I doubt you'll actually go to the mountains. Can you figure out when drinking with your family will be most tempting and go shopping then? Probably that would be right at first and for the first hour or so. After that they'll just look stupid and you'll be okay. Try that.

Also, as another person who cannot actually "avoid" alcohol, I think that it's important to participate with the family. Drink coffee and take care of people. Eventually maybe they'll appreciate that and see that being sober is a good thing.

Just some ideas. Be we're in the same boat. Feel free to pm me if you want to try to build some joint challenges for ourselves. Like--card night with the family....

harleybluz

Classical, I do remember you from yesterday. Thanks again for your support. YOu're drink suggestions sound good since I was looking for a refreshing drink to have instead of beer. I used to drink ginger ale and grape juice when I was a kid and forgot how good it was until you just mentioned it. Good luck, sweetie, on your 9 days and counting. I wish us both luck. lol

Mcribb

I quickly found out I was dealing with a beast, and I couldn't lock myself in my self imposed jail forever. I had to tweek, relapse, tweek, replapse until I just turned myself over to AA. Good luck!