I don't know me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 85
I don't know me
Hello,
I have been an addict for some time now, actually a long time. I have always been on one thing or another. From diet pills to Loratab. I don't want this anymore, I'm tired of my addiction and I'm tired of being numb. I don't know who I am. I don't know what it feels like to be me. No one knows of my secret except the person who has provided me with the same meds for 8 years now. I never ran out before time and never appeared to be under the influence, this is why nobody noticed. I have been taking 5 (7.5 Loratabs) for the past eight years religiously. It was just enough to keep me numb but functional.
I stopped taking my pills 48 hours ago. I've done nothing but cry and tell myself I needed to do this or my organs would fail at some point because of the amount of Ibuprofen in the pills. This is so painful, physically and emotionally. I am taking ibuprofen ( I know it's the last thing my body needs) for pain, a sleeping pill and drinking lots of water. How long will it take to feel better from withdrawals? I do not have insurance to go seek medical attention nor do I have money to see a doctor. Besides, I live in a small town and the last thing I need is for everyone to know.
Thank you for listening
I have been an addict for some time now, actually a long time. I have always been on one thing or another. From diet pills to Loratab. I don't want this anymore, I'm tired of my addiction and I'm tired of being numb. I don't know who I am. I don't know what it feels like to be me. No one knows of my secret except the person who has provided me with the same meds for 8 years now. I never ran out before time and never appeared to be under the influence, this is why nobody noticed. I have been taking 5 (7.5 Loratabs) for the past eight years religiously. It was just enough to keep me numb but functional.
I stopped taking my pills 48 hours ago. I've done nothing but cry and tell myself I needed to do this or my organs would fail at some point because of the amount of Ibuprofen in the pills. This is so painful, physically and emotionally. I am taking ibuprofen ( I know it's the last thing my body needs) for pain, a sleeping pill and drinking lots of water. How long will it take to feel better from withdrawals? I do not have insurance to go seek medical attention nor do I have money to see a doctor. Besides, I live in a small town and the last thing I need is for everyone to know.
Thank you for listening
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Oh lordy gurl! is anyone with you? That's a big under-taking on you're own. You know NA and AA are free!!!! Don't be ashamed of your addiction and don't let shame keep you from getting help! There are so many of us out here that understand you and could help.
Gosh I really feel for you!
Gosh I really feel for you!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I don't know anything about pills, I was a wino, but the people in this forum have lots of experience and support to share.
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi MySecretLove
I really encourage you to seek professional medical advice. I think there's a limit to what we can accomplish ourselves.
Many place now in the US do have free clinics - google free clinics and your local area - you may be lucky.
If all else fails, and you feel concerned or you feel you need help, please go to the ER.
Your welfare is far more important than any other consideration - even saving face in a small town.
D
I really encourage you to seek professional medical advice. I think there's a limit to what we can accomplish ourselves.
Many place now in the US do have free clinics - google free clinics and your local area - you may be lucky.
If all else fails, and you feel concerned or you feel you need help, please go to the ER.
Your welfare is far more important than any other consideration - even saving face in a small town.
D
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,949
Welcome to SR MySecretLove.
Detoxing without medical supervision is dangerous and can be life threatening. Do seek medical help ASAP. Please don't do this alone at home.
Detoxing without medical supervision is dangerous and can be life threatening. Do seek medical help ASAP. Please don't do this alone at home.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 85
Thank You for the warm welcome. It's been 2.5 days for me. Last night after posting here I felt a huge sense of relief, I'm grateful to have had a place to say something. I woke up this morning without NEEDING to reach out for my pill bottle. I have been taking a sleeping pill at night and wonder if the Valium type effect is actually helping me out with the cravings. I will continue to take the sleeping pill for a few more days.
I have a friend here with me who THINKS I am ill with a bad infection. How sad that the lies continue, but I have no other choice.
I think I can do this. I have read the first 3 days are the worst. I am almost there. I don't want to die, I am too young is what I keep telling myself. I have neglected everyone around me in my state of NUMBNESS. I used to be exciting and fun and laughing all the time. That was so long ago, I hope I am still like that. Everyone always asks me why I am so serious all the time. I don't know what happened to me.
A hot hot bath and Ibuprofen took away my muscle and joint pains last night.
I am still drinking lots of water. I don't look as bloated today. Those pills kept me bloated 24/7. My vision is still a little blurry but better this morning.
Thank you for listening.
I have a friend here with me who THINKS I am ill with a bad infection. How sad that the lies continue, but I have no other choice.
I think I can do this. I have read the first 3 days are the worst. I am almost there. I don't want to die, I am too young is what I keep telling myself. I have neglected everyone around me in my state of NUMBNESS. I used to be exciting and fun and laughing all the time. That was so long ago, I hope I am still like that. Everyone always asks me why I am so serious all the time. I don't know what happened to me.
A hot hot bath and Ibuprofen took away my muscle and joint pains last night.
I am still drinking lots of water. I don't look as bloated today. Those pills kept me bloated 24/7. My vision is still a little blurry but better this morning.
Thank you for listening.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: On the road to recovery
Posts: 78
Just wanted to add my support 
I hope that you do seek out medical assistance though as D said, I don't know anything about drug addiction or the meds you mention but cold turkey on anything (my vice was alcohol) isn't pleasant even if it's mild, and it can be dangerous.
Hope you are well.
I hope that you do seek out medical assistance though as D said, I don't know anything about drug addiction or the meds you mention but cold turkey on anything (my vice was alcohol) isn't pleasant even if it's mild, and it can be dangerous.
Hope you are well.
Eternally Grateful 4/25/08
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 212
If you can do try to seek medical help! If you throw yourself into your recovery and make it the most important thing you do, you will laugh again and feel joy. At times it is unpleasant when the "numbness"" wears off, but for the most part it is incredible. Lots of prayers coming your way, and keep us posted!
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