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Old 06-21-2011, 05:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Quit drinking become a hermit?


I used to deal with all the stress and "everything' else in my life with drinking. Feel bad, drink, Feel good, drink. Bored, drink. Drink, drink, drink,....

Now that I stopped the madness. I find my defences to life craziness and the people in it are weak.

The only thing I can change is me. The only thing I can control is me.

I feel pretty good working my program and looking deep within myself. The problem is the world is out there. Not all in here. I'm going to retreat a bit from the craziness or a least limit it as much as I can. Problem is in one respect I can't. I'm a technical consultant. The demands on me to be "on" and available are high.

What to do. Fin an oasis....?
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Old 06-21-2011, 05:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Please do not take this as sarcasm or an insult. But have you considered seeking mental health help. It sounds like you could use some help with dealing with life stressors and that is one way to find some help.
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Old 06-21-2011, 05:58 PM   #3 (permalink)
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hi in my own expirence and working with my sponser i lerned that acceptance is a big problem of mine and expectations of people places and things and once i started to pray on these matters i started to losen up and relize that every thing and person is who they should be in that place and time and you are right the only person we can change is mysefl i use to read read page 449 in the big book alot just about every day anyway that my expierance hope it helps sorry for any incorrect spelling
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Old 06-21-2011, 06:18 PM   #4 (permalink)
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My drinking was at least on one level an attempt to eradicate stress.
I've realised in my sobriety it's not possible to do that - or desirable.

I find somethings very helpful with stress - exercise is good, diet helps, deep breathing does too - I've had to work hard to find healthy ways to relax.

I've worked hard on my boundaries to try and achieve that - I think a lot about balance in my life and about what part of the world is mine to operate in - I have to be wary I'm not trying to solve problems that aren't mine, or taking on responsibilities that are someone else's.

I found counselling useful, so I second nandm's suggestion - if you're not doing it already, it's worth considering I think, Tendencies

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Old 06-21-2011, 06:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I meditate often and find that there is always a place to unwind from the world with a few minuets of a still mind with mindful breathing. Mediation could help you.
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Old 06-21-2011, 06:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Yes, balance and boundaries, two things I had to learn in order to start to recover.
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Old 06-21-2011, 07:13 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Yes. I agree. I've been under a doctors care for a few years now. A Psychologist. He's the one who pointed out to me that some things make me crazy. He suggested I pull back. He also suggested I date. LOL. I'm very lonely and when I get lonely I tend to gravitate towards the people I think care about me the most. Family. Unfortunately my family makes me crazy. My best friend moved away for work which also kicked out one of my supports. I call him but it's not the same of course.

One of the last things I've added to my program is the exercise. I started last Monday. Push-ups, sit-ups, and running 2-3 KM. It was really hard at first but everyday now is easier. Really enjoying it.

I just feel I need to live my life for awhile with the focus just on me. Get stronger. Put some good time in being clean and as content as I can.

Thicker skin is needed. Better tools. More good times.
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Old 06-21-2011, 07:33 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy may give you the tools you need.
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Old 06-21-2011, 08:40 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Lots of good advice in here....boundries are huge. Exercise. And simple breathing excercises have really helped me in the last year.
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