LaFemme

On the thread about keeping alcohol in the house I noticed that whether we said yes or no we were all very aware of alcohol in ours environments. This led me to something I have noticed about myself since getting sober.

I watch other people drink. Even strangers on the train. Its not envy but worry that motivates me. I'm always worried people have a drinking problem when they drink 2 beers on the 45 minute train ride home...after all that's what I did.

Sometimes I can smell it on someone...I worry about them too.

Friends might make throw away comments about drinking episodes....and I worry.

Am I the only one?

AmericanGirl

I am definitely much more aware of others drinking. I don't think it is my place to guess/determine if someone has a problem... I am not a doc and I can't know the sum total of another's relationship with alcohol. Still, having finally accepted the reality of my situation after spending many years in denial, telling myself it was no big deal to drink heavily every night, I do find it a bit disconcerting to watch others do what I did... Case in point, much like your experience on the train I saw someone almost miss a flight at the airport recently because she had been at the bar (which I almost did once too.. Thanks airport paging). So yes, I am more aware too of it, with a range of emotions. Sometimes I feel for them but I also remind myself that I dont know anything about what someone's story is!

CherryD

I notice it all the time and it's definitely envy for me.

With the people I know and where I live, binge drinking is normalized and people wear it as a badge of honor. It's typical to hear one of my friends talk about playing 4 rounds of beer pong and getting trashed 2-3 times a week, or go out for dinner and get rounds of shots with their meal. It is weird hearing about all of their drunken nights though. Mostly I'm jealous, I really really wish I could go out and have fun a couple nights a week like them. I think I'm going to miss my drunken debauchery and fun for the rest my life. But unlike them I would wake up and instead of coffee would have a caffeinated beer, then keep it going until the next night.

billsaintjames

I always pay attention to how much people are drinking. And yea, it's the exact opposite of envy.

I feel sorry for some people, such as family members, as well as homeless people who clearly never had a fair shot at life. It's just sad to see people pull together whatever money they can get to buy the cheapest plastic bottle of vodka, which they will devour in privacy, not in celebration with a group of good-looking people in a classy joint.

For others, such as frat/sorority types or anyone who looks high maintenance/obnoxiously wealthy in general, I am apathetic. Maybe I should care more, but if you've got enough time/money/energy to dress yourself up and buy multiple rounds of expensive liquor at the bar, you've got no reason to not get some help.

CherryD

Sorry I don't want to fight or anything. But I'm one of those frat/sorority types and that kina hurts. You can't tell anything about someone and their addiction from how someone looks or what they're buying. Getting ready to go out was and has always been part of my ritual, the drinking/using would start while I was taking a shower. I'm in massive credit card debt from buying that "expensive liquor." I didn't get help for so long for the same reasons as most addicts, it had very little to do with being able to afford it. So please do not make those assumptions.

Reset

I notice it but am able to put it out of my head fairly quickly. Guess I'm lucky, but at this point I relish being able to think clearly.

And I don't feel envy. Because let's face it, alcohol tastes like ass, and most people drink it for the effects and not for the taste.

Itchy

Actually I am not all about alcohol at all. I have no issue unless I am asked for help, or asked about why I stopped. My answers are short and only about me in mixed company. I neither think that another drinks too much or worry about them. It is not my job to judge another regardless of how they come across with drinking. If I have business around drinkers and smokers I don't take issue with another's choices. I don't preach in my mind or out loud, and the choices of those that drink and try to convince me to drink again have the same effect on me as my preaching to them would have.

I do not live my life around alcohol as a presence or an absence. I am now a non-drinker, which isn't very interesting to anyone, not even me. So how about them Yankees?

Latte

In the beginning I did, now I'm like Itchy. I don't have the time to pay attention to others drinking habits.

Touch my chewy candies and we will have words though.

BoozeFree

I catch myself always noticing how much people are drinking then have to remind myself that it's really none of my business.

instant

I am only 36 days sober so I have some of the "triggers" thing happening. So I do think that I am attuned to alcohol related cues in the environment.

I read in some posts about feeling "neutral" about alcohol and I can see that is a very good long term position to be in, as long as you are secure it has no place in your life.

I used to smoke many years ago, I still recall having the odd desire to smoke at times- I no longer have them- I still do notice people smoking though

yeahgr8

Don't notice it at all, probably would if someone spilled it down themselves though:-)

FBL

Nope. None of my business.

Zebra1275

I don't have much opportunity since I'm not around people who drink very much. Occasionally I may be at a wedding or something and I do notice when somebody has been drinking to much. What I feel is a bit of embarressment because I wonder, "did I look like that when I was drinking?"

SSIL75

I consistently notice how little people drink! It's amazing to me. And embarrassing, too. I must have REALLY stood out.

flutter

I notice the same thing that SSIL does.. I never knew how little most people actually drink. Granted, I don't hang out where there's lots of drinking anyways, so my only exposure to it would be at restaurants. When I first quit drinking, it was sort of nice to notice that lots of people really do order just water or soda when they're out for dinner.. something I had never done.

Mark75

Only if they are really wasted, or if I am hosting a get together... Don't want them behind the wheel.

bratnik

I am taking notice in restaurants these days as to how many people DON'T drink! I think I actually fit in better now with an iced tea than being the lush polishing off a bottle at the table all by myself..at lunch.

And Cherry, I agree with you. Alcoholism affects all walks of life. Just because someone has money or is living a drinking-based culture and can afford treatment doesn't make them any less sick than someone who can't afford it.

LaFemme

Thanks....I'm always amazed at people who seem to love lives that don't put them in contact with alcohol and people who drink heavily.

Several times a month the person on the train next to me is drinking...I have to pass the drinks cart with a long line to get on the train home...people bring a cocktail to the dog park. If I'm at a restaurant and look around no one is not drinking.

By training and by nature I'm a very observant person...so I guess its natural for me to notice. I'm just glad my reaction isn't envy

Spawn

I do everything possible not to be around people that drink.

susanlauren

No. Why would I do that? Susan