Fandy

ditto.....hindsight embarrassment. thankfully not any more.

Ranger

Time will tell if I always will. But, for now I definitely notice others whose drinking behaviors mirror my prior habits. Unlike many replies here, I view my noticing as largely unremarkable. I was, after all, an expert who spent countless hours devoted to the task of imbibement. For the same reasons, I can also spot a tobacco chewer from a mile away.

Missy7

Because I'm not "over it" quite yet, my perspective is earlier. First, as sort of a competitive drinker, I've always watched my tablemates in order to make sure we are downing it one to one. So, as many have said, I was often stunned at how loooooong some people can make ooooone driiiiiiink last .

Last weekend people sat at the table with me and drank beer. I found myself deliberately not looking at it. That was weird. I don't think I would have snatched it or anything--but I'm not sure.

I hope I don't become one of those recovering alcoholics who lectures or emotes. My goal, and I have succeeded at this, is to drink caffeine and keep playing along.

But, I won't be out where there is alcohol for at least the rest of June. Not going.

In fact, I just poured 3/4 of a bottle of very good pinot down the drain. I waited till this morning and unceremoniously poured it out. Didn't bother me a bit.

Anna

No, I don't.

And, I'm very, very rarely around people who are drinking.

cmc

I used to do that almost every time I went out....I learned in Al-Anon that what other people choose to do is none of my business. The odd thing (to me- anyway) is that for many years I was totally unaware of it. It wasn't until I learned more about my role in this disease that directly affects several people in my family.

I could pretty much keep tabs (no pun intended!) on how many drinks the various total strangers at the next table or those at my own....were being served---plus carry on a conversation and maybe cut my kids steak at the same time. I'm a multitasker who was silently making a tally and had no idea why I did it.

Now I view that behavior as a total waste of my emotional energy and as something that distracts me from more important things.

frances2011

I'm still new *just under 4 months* so I haven't been around a whole lot of drinking situations and I've been kinda self-focused.

I sure did notice & count & compare when I was drinking, which I see as a signal of my problem.

Now I notice with relief that my husband has an occasional one-shot scotch and that's it for the night. I am relieved that it's so uncomplicated for him.

I'm relieved that I don't have to worry about my drinking anymore. I feel saved and lucky that I got out at a high-bottom.

As to friends, what's so noticeable for me is that most people don't have a drinking problem and how different it is from my situation.

I can't think of anyone I know right now who I worry about their drinking. THAT's a blessing right there.

Mida

I used to count others' drinks like a hawk during my drinking days...mostly to see when I could get another and not seem "alcoholic"...now, I'll notice when people are drinking but have no clue as to how many they are having or how long it takes them to finish it. Looking back, how sad that I was so obsessed with everyone else's drinking behavior as a way to deflect from myself and justify my own drinking

I also agree with others who shared that they've noticed how most people don't drink much at all so now it's almost like fitting in better...

Murray4x5

I was shocked, SHOCKED, to realize it takes my friends and my own wife 45 minutes to drink a beer. I only discovered this after going sober, because before that my only concern was either the drink in my hand or where the next one was.

woowaa

Training eh....CIA in our midst?

You're spot on though, I have become very aware of what others drink yet I don't feel envy but then again, I have to confess that I also don't have a strong will to help them - I think that is because I am being a little selfish and reserving my efforts for my own battle.

If that's not enough, a common phrase over here is "nothing worse than one who's give up" if you dare to question someone's drinking....

You're concern for others is very heart warming, shows you're very caring.

That's a good thing, so keep spying

mirage

For me I think it's like anything else. Like when I'm in the market to buy a front door, I notice ALL the front doors when I'm driving in a neighborhood. 2 weeks after I buy one, I don't even notice them anymore. So I do notice a bit now, but I think with more sober time under my belt, I'll notice it less. And no, I don't envy it either, but I'm not around it a lot, so it's still a bit weird sometimes when I am. I don't have a lot of practice being around it, but not participating.

LaFemme

I don't remember noting how much others were drinking during my drinking days mostly because I drank alone...if I were having dinner with people I would make sure to drink before and ha e plenty at home after...lol

Terminally Unique

I watch others, always have, but not necessarily how much they drink. I like to look at their eyes, their inflection, how they look at a bottle, how they hold it, etc.

Most of the "how it was like" stories downplay the early days - the "how good it was" part - but that part is important. I know that in my case, there was always something "off" in my reaction to alcohol, and I'm not talking about character defects or loss of control.

It would prove to be my undoing, but I literally LOVED the stuff. Katherine Knapp's description of a love affair was quite accurate, I believe.

Recognizing a drinker that has already gone down the tubes is quite easy, but I like to spot them early on, well before any problems are evident. If you observe closely, you may notice that a drinker who really loves the stuff does indeed look at the bottle like they would an object of their affection.

Likewise, those who have been through the ringer often look at it like a partner after a bad divorce. Part of them thinks "danger, danger, bad news, stay away," but another part of them still remembers all the fond memories, and you can often see this.

Easy to spot former booze hounds this way too - just as it is usually quite easy to recognize two former lovers if you see them together.

billsaintjames

I was always extremely careful to not drink faster than the people I was drinking with. Because, of course, I didn't want to look like an alcoholic, and pacing myself convinced me that I had a handle on my drinking. I even remember getting impatient with people because they were not drinking fast enough!

Naturally, my favorite people in the world were the ones who were fast drinkers who kept up with me or exceeded my drinking speed. I rapidly and intensely bonded with these people. And these folks were just like booze/drugs: despite an immediately comforting payoff, any long-term association with them is poisonous and endlessly damaging.

coffeenut

When I first quit drinking I really noticed. I noticed how a lot of people in a restaurant ordered pop. I was amazed!

I mean, we always chose restaurants that served alcohol. Why would you want to eat without drinking beer, for heavens sake.

Jabbadabutt

It certainly is obvious to me now...I used to take it for granted, it was common to see. I catch myself worrying for other people too, worrying they may have a problem like me, but have not accepted it yet. Like I can help them or something. But I remain silent, as I have learned that only they can help themselves, and I can offe rmy help if they ask. I am amazed at how much importance people put on getting a drink or two when they go out instead of take it or leave it. To me, that screams problem, but that is just me speaking from my experiences.

Mcribb

Keep WORKING on doing things you like. Work on your sobriety, you will sometimes feel that you wish you have fun like the other people, but you will one day be so true to yourself you can let go and have fun without chemicals. If you want to dance and be silly, if you want to be a jerk, if you want to be a nice person, you can do all of this with a clear mind.

FT

I still need to remind myself of why I don't drink, and watching others helps me do that.

I don't crave that hard lemonade I see the ladies drinking at the next table in the restaurant, and I imagine myself and how I would feel later on at home if I were doing that -- headache, slightly off center, and waking up in the morning regretting I had drunk the night before.

Why do I still need to remind myself of those things 20 years after quitting alcohol? I don't know. I'm just the non drinker in any social situation, and I am a people watcher by nature. I watch people's behavior change from normal to "buzzed" and often to "ridiculous", and I have to say I can't relate well to someone who's drunk. They bother me, and I find myself feeling somehow condescending, a feeling I don't like to foster in myself. After all, that was ME at one time. I think back to situations when I was one of the only drinkers, and I wonder how I must have looked to others at the time.

I don't want that back.

VolcomStone51

I guess that I do notice when people have drank too much because I loose interest in the conversation. Other than that I don't even notice, or at least I try and accomplish that. I try to because jealousy can become VERY dangerous, so if I feel jealous I believe I should get out of that situation......and judgment is no place for me but I am always more than willing to talk to someone about their drinking if they would like information or are looking for help.

Hwdcarver

When I stopped the first time around 12 yrs. ago before I went back out and used for 9 mo's. (now clean again for 9mo's as of the 17th) I was at first for about the first 6 or 7 mo's. then I came to a place within me that I just did'nt need to keep an eye on other people's drinking Because all it does is keep you in a place I call "STALE" as in a old place, stuck , or in limbo! It just holds you form moving forward to the place you really want to be!!!! Out with the old in the NEW, Thinking that is.................. Peace People & Happy Summer...

LaFemme

For instance....two guys just got on the train with the double size corona's...I can smell them 3 seats away...I feel like I am going to be ill. Its not even 5 o'clock.

They just came out with new ads to scare people away from cigarettes ...I wish they would put a photo of the remains of the car the Jackass guy was in on every bottle of alcohol.