I think its time to stop
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 6
I think its time to stop
Well I've made the excuse to any concerned person or anyone that makes a joke about my drinking that I'm only young once (22) I don't have children or a wife that depend on me and not that many financial obligations.
However all of my legal problems have resulted from drinking alcohol and set me back thousands of dollars and probably damaged the way my life has started as I started behind and in the hole.
DUI- at eighteen thousands in fines, classes, 3 years of high risk insurance.
2 Underage drinking tickets that were 500 dollars and loss of license for months.
A disorderly conduct ticket when I was in a conflict outside a bar which resulted in me being jailed for the night.
So the party has already cost me a little more than the average person.
I also have never had any trouble in school until last year when I turned 21 I felt like I had a free ticket to drink for once. Another bored roommate and I decided one day what the hell were both of age lets go check out what happens on the weekday. Well unfortunately I can tell you every special at the bars each day of the week and thats now what I look forward to. I started obviously not being able to make it to class and I'm in higher level math class as I'm trying to graduate as a Mechanical Engineer. This doesn't correlate with weekday drinking. And, I ended up failing multiple classes last semester in fact they were the same classes I had failed the previous semester for the same reason (alcohol).
Now that its the summer and I live in the south its all about being on the water and that comes with a party and drinking. I don't feel like I have that big of a problem because I'm only a social drinker if theres alcohol in my house its consumed that night by multiple people. If I go out its not alone and its to party. But I do drink each and everytime to a point of intoxication.
I'm wanting to quit drinking because I know its already affected my life and I need this fog to leave my brain so I can start thinking again. I don't even have the energy or care enough to do my laundry or dishes or take out the trash. I know if I don't change my mind I'll fail again.
Problems with quitting is everyone I know is a party friend that means I'd instantly lose all social activity.
Another problem I face is I'm single and I meet girls through the bars or at parties. I'm not even sure where I'd find that type of girl outside of that scene.
Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
However all of my legal problems have resulted from drinking alcohol and set me back thousands of dollars and probably damaged the way my life has started as I started behind and in the hole.
DUI- at eighteen thousands in fines, classes, 3 years of high risk insurance.
2 Underage drinking tickets that were 500 dollars and loss of license for months.
A disorderly conduct ticket when I was in a conflict outside a bar which resulted in me being jailed for the night.
So the party has already cost me a little more than the average person.
I also have never had any trouble in school until last year when I turned 21 I felt like I had a free ticket to drink for once. Another bored roommate and I decided one day what the hell were both of age lets go check out what happens on the weekday. Well unfortunately I can tell you every special at the bars each day of the week and thats now what I look forward to. I started obviously not being able to make it to class and I'm in higher level math class as I'm trying to graduate as a Mechanical Engineer. This doesn't correlate with weekday drinking. And, I ended up failing multiple classes last semester in fact they were the same classes I had failed the previous semester for the same reason (alcohol).
Now that its the summer and I live in the south its all about being on the water and that comes with a party and drinking. I don't feel like I have that big of a problem because I'm only a social drinker if theres alcohol in my house its consumed that night by multiple people. If I go out its not alone and its to party. But I do drink each and everytime to a point of intoxication.
I'm wanting to quit drinking because I know its already affected my life and I need this fog to leave my brain so I can start thinking again. I don't even have the energy or care enough to do my laundry or dishes or take out the trash. I know if I don't change my mind I'll fail again.
Problems with quitting is everyone I know is a party friend that means I'd instantly lose all social activity.
Another problem I face is I'm single and I meet girls through the bars or at parties. I'm not even sure where I'd find that type of girl outside of that scene.
Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Congrats on reaching this decision at such a young age. There is great support here. I use AA to stay sober, but there are other methods:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Welcome to Sober Recovery. Start checking out the site and doing some readings, especially the "stickys" in the Alcoholism Forum and the Alcoholism 12 step forum.
At AA meetings on Campus. No I am not being facetious. You will be amazed if you look around you at school how many do not drink, that are serious about their studies and have found ways to socialize without alcohol.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care very much.
Love and hugs,
I'm not even sure where I'd find that type of girl outside of that scene.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care very much.
Love and hugs,
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
the problems of sobriety will be a lot less than those you describe accruing from having alcohol in your life. You are young and smart.
You may find the writing old fashioned but check out the personal stories in the AA Big Book available online
You may find the writing old fashioned but check out the personal stories in the AA Big Book available online
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
you should try to cut it out before it's too late...
i know it sucks, because during my 20's that was the only thing to do. the problem is that it becomes such a natural part of life that the further you let it slide, the harder it becomes to change things around.
like you said, you don't wanna start your life already being behind. i wish someone drilled that into my head when i was your age.
i know it sucks, because during my 20's that was the only thing to do. the problem is that it becomes such a natural part of life that the further you let it slide, the harder it becomes to change things around.
like you said, you don't wanna start your life already being behind. i wish someone drilled that into my head when i was your age.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 6
Thank you all for your responses.
"dgillz" I will check out that link.
"Laurie" I know many don't drink I actually met a real nice girl recently through a part time job I had. However, I made an ass of myself on New Years and never heard from her again. I was the only one drinking at a place with about twenty people there.
I'll check out some of those stories "instant".
And to "serious" my father has already tried to get through to me that there will always be another day to drink and to take things more serious. I already see that but that hasn't sunk in enough it seems like. But, everynight at the bar is the same and same with a party people get drunk some get mad, some get stupid, some people hook up, etc. I can just hear the stories later.
I am going to try and make it through this week completely sober. However, I'm sure I'll experience some light detox as I cannot recall the last day I haven't drank. If I didn't drink it was a one day recovery day here and there.
"dgillz" I will check out that link.
"Laurie" I know many don't drink I actually met a real nice girl recently through a part time job I had. However, I made an ass of myself on New Years and never heard from her again. I was the only one drinking at a place with about twenty people there.
I'll check out some of those stories "instant".
And to "serious" my father has already tried to get through to me that there will always be another day to drink and to take things more serious. I already see that but that hasn't sunk in enough it seems like. But, everynight at the bar is the same and same with a party people get drunk some get mad, some get stupid, some people hook up, etc. I can just hear the stories later.
I am going to try and make it through this week completely sober. However, I'm sure I'll experience some light detox as I cannot recall the last day I haven't drank. If I didn't drink it was a one day recovery day here and there.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
I'm female, and a lot older than you, so I don't know for sure. But I have been that drunk girl many time.
It's not all that good is it? Is it? Do you really want some staggering, idiot? You're an engineer for heaven's sake. And you've obviously got plenty of sense or you wouldn't be here.
Imagine your absolute dream woman. Are you holding her hair over the toilet? I doubt it. (Again, I've been that girl--so no offense. Imagine the shame the girl feels later.)
If you visualize that you want in a woman you will figure out where to find her.
So happy you are here. Keep reading and posting.
And stay off the water drunk. Wanna talk about a recipe for disaster...
It's not all that good is it? Is it? Do you really want some staggering, idiot? You're an engineer for heaven's sake. And you've obviously got plenty of sense or you wouldn't be here.
Imagine your absolute dream woman. Are you holding her hair over the toilet? I doubt it. (Again, I've been that girl--so no offense. Imagine the shame the girl feels later.)
If you visualize that you want in a woman you will figure out where to find her.
So happy you are here. Keep reading and posting.
And stay off the water drunk. Wanna talk about a recipe for disaster...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 362
GSB-
Congratulations for your decision to enter sobriety! You are actually very fortunate that you are alone right now in your journey rather than waiting for a wife or kid to quit for. We all learn here, and elsewhere, that we have to quit for ourselves. Right now you don't have to balance all that on top of it. If you do continue drinking, you may find yourself one day letting your wife and your children down and coming to a realization one day that you don't want to do it anymore. Then relationships require healing, apologies, and major adjustments as you walk the path of recovery and change to the very depths of your core. Right now, you can skip that part and just focus on you.
I would recommend waiting on the dating scene during your early recovery because during that time it has to be all about YOU. But Laurie is right--There are tons of girls at AA.
Congratulations for your decision to enter sobriety! You are actually very fortunate that you are alone right now in your journey rather than waiting for a wife or kid to quit for. We all learn here, and elsewhere, that we have to quit for ourselves. Right now you don't have to balance all that on top of it. If you do continue drinking, you may find yourself one day letting your wife and your children down and coming to a realization one day that you don't want to do it anymore. Then relationships require healing, apologies, and major adjustments as you walk the path of recovery and change to the very depths of your core. Right now, you can skip that part and just focus on you.
I would recommend waiting on the dating scene during your early recovery because during that time it has to be all about YOU. But Laurie is right--There are tons of girls at AA.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Welcome to SR! I'm always a little envious of people who are in their 20's and quitting...I wish I had quit then. So kudos to you
I realize at your age it seems like everything revolves around alcohol...but I have a number of friends who quit in their early 20's and today have awesome lives.
Keep us posted and good luck on your week off.
* If you can't make it a week you know you Have a problem...you said you were a social drinker o ly...I was like that too but at some point I used socializing as an excuse to drink and eventually I used drinking as a reason not to socialize...best quit while you are ahead
One last thing...drinking and the water do not mix...I've lost friends that way.
I realize at your age it seems like everything revolves around alcohol...but I have a number of friends who quit in their early 20's and today have awesome lives.
Keep us posted and good luck on your week off.
* If you can't make it a week you know you Have a problem...you said you were a social drinker o ly...I was like that too but at some point I used socializing as an excuse to drink and eventually I used drinking as a reason not to socialize...best quit while you are ahead
One last thing...drinking and the water do not mix...I've lost friends that way.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
I ended up failing multiple classes last semester in fact they were the same classes I had failed the previous semester for the same reason (alcohol).
I don't know how you can continue to pursue your degree when you are repeating classes, that's damn expensive. I'm not sure how this will show up on your college transcripts, but if I saw that it took someone 3 trys to pass a foundation class for their profession, I would pass. I hire a lot of professional people and I try to screen transcripts, resume', etc. before I even decide who to interview. You might get weeded out before you even have a chance to make a first impression. The job market is very tough right now and employers can be quite selective.
I don't know how you can continue to pursue your degree when you are repeating classes, that's damn expensive. I'm not sure how this will show up on your college transcripts, but if I saw that it took someone 3 trys to pass a foundation class for their profession, I would pass. I hire a lot of professional people and I try to screen transcripts, resume', etc. before I even decide who to interview. You might get weeded out before you even have a chance to make a first impression. The job market is very tough right now and employers can be quite selective.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Some great advice here GSB
I used to think bars were my only shot at meeting girls too - but then I'd promptly go and totally write myself off.
No self respecting girl wants that, man.
Welcome to SR
D
I used to think bars were my only shot at meeting girls too - but then I'd promptly go and totally write myself off.
No self respecting girl wants that, man.
Welcome to SR
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome! Glad you're here.
I finally admitted to myself that things weren't going to get any better for me if I didn't do something about my drinking. I can relate to not having the energy (or not caring enough) to do anything but the bare minimum. Everything just seemed so hard (except drinking, of course!).
You really do deserve a better life, and even though you can't imagine it right now, it's really possible. Keep reading and posting!:ghug3
I finally admitted to myself that things weren't going to get any better for me if I didn't do something about my drinking. I can relate to not having the energy (or not caring enough) to do anything but the bare minimum. Everything just seemed so hard (except drinking, of course!).
You really do deserve a better life, and even though you can't imagine it right now, it's really possible. Keep reading and posting!:ghug3
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
well...
either stop or stop wasteing your time trying to get an education/good career. Drinking as you already realize is not going to do you a bit of good with that goal.
You can put your social life on hold....until your brain is clear and your non drinking future is solid...
I joined AA.
I took a year off from dating and bars to improve myself...and never regretted that decision.
welcome to SR....
either stop or stop wasteing your time trying to get an education/good career. Drinking as you already realize is not going to do you a bit of good with that goal.
You can put your social life on hold....until your brain is clear and your non drinking future is solid...
I joined AA.I took a year off from dating and bars to improve myself...and never regretted that decision.
welcome to SR....
Last edited by CarolD; 06-19-2011 at 10:58 PM.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
I glad you are looking into a whole turnabout in your life. Letting go of the destructive path you are on now and in bracing into a whole new sober life direction is within your means.
Committing to a new life free from addiction, as it has been for me, is an exercise of dedication, planing and diligence. Moving forward willfully can remove the hindrance that drags one down into the depths of despair and ultimately death. Be it mind, body or soul...alcohol kills.
Committing to a new life free from addiction, as it has been for me, is an exercise of dedication, planing and diligence. Moving forward willfully can remove the hindrance that drags one down into the depths of despair and ultimately death. Be it mind, body or soul...alcohol kills.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 6
Thanks to everyone. I also have been reading elsewhere on the forum and I fit into the category of people who grew up with an alcoholic family. Mine was unfortunately very violent and horrible. I see there are groups in my area that could help with this. This is the reason I believe when I was in early highschool I started getting out as much as possible and it just never ended.
I stopped drinking excessively when I was in a relationship from age 19 to a little after my 21st birthday. I remember I had severe anxiety that I was obviously self medicating with drugs and alcohol for years. I literally recall nights trying to rip my hair out because I was so exhausted but couldnt sleep. I was never violent towards my ex girlfriend but my anger was at times very questionable towards her. I punched a pole when in an argument and broke my hand and now have a steel plate and a scar. So inevitably we split. I started partying alot towards the end and even cheated on her once.
After the break up is when I started using the alcohol again to feel better and now more than ever its cost me alot of opportunities and money.
So I think I'll look back into the initial problem of my horrible horrible childhood. But I've always tended to just avoid that at all expenses. As I have been unwilling to even talk with my sister about then I just get upset.
I stopped drinking excessively when I was in a relationship from age 19 to a little after my 21st birthday. I remember I had severe anxiety that I was obviously self medicating with drugs and alcohol for years. I literally recall nights trying to rip my hair out because I was so exhausted but couldnt sleep. I was never violent towards my ex girlfriend but my anger was at times very questionable towards her. I punched a pole when in an argument and broke my hand and now have a steel plate and a scar. So inevitably we split. I started partying alot towards the end and even cheated on her once.
After the break up is when I started using the alcohol again to feel better and now more than ever its cost me alot of opportunities and money.
So I think I'll look back into the initial problem of my horrible horrible childhood. But I've always tended to just avoid that at all expenses. As I have been unwilling to even talk with my sister about then I just get upset.
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