alchy

Really emotional today. I'm in a back room at workand I can't stop bawling my eyes out. My detox(I'm on day 5) has been relatively mild. Bit today I am an absolute emotional mess. And I'm at work. I don't know what to do. We have to take our cat in to the vet today too cause she is sick. So that actually gives me something to cry about but I thing regardless id be back here bawling. It just isn't like me. My wife has said she can take the cat in and that it will be ok. I was supposed to take her as my wife has class biti told her what a mess I am.
Any tips on how to get through the day withoutt walking throug the halls crying? As it is even when I stop my face is all swollen and red eyed anyway. What can I do? How long does this last?
Very very sad.

Sorry for the bad typing. On my phone.

endlesspatience

Sorry to hear about your sadness and frustration. Can you find some time to remind yourself of the things you are grateful for in your life? Your wife, your family and your friends, perhaps. If you're healthy, can you acknowledge and celebrate that? What about the trees and flowers and birds around you? Can you get outside and look at the sky for a few minutes (it's raining here but it still helps!). And most of all, you can be thankful for five days of recovery and the support of the members of SR. We're here for you.

Bikeguy

Can you take 10 or 15 minutes to go for a walk? Sometimes just getting outside and some activity can really help get a person out of the dumps. If not take a bathroom break and splash some cold water on your face, take it one moment at a time. You can do it!

serious

i can certainly relate to that, although my sadness/anxiety manifests itself in different ways.

like bikeguy said, even a 10 - 15 minute walk can make you feel better.
focus on your breathing (deep inner breathing). most importantly shift your mind, forcefully if you have to, onto something/anything positive..

hopefully i am not breaking any rules by suggesting the following, but it has worked for me:
- valerian root
- chamomele tea

both gave me a little temporary relief
(they should be available in your local drug store, but be sure to check with the pharmacist first)
worst case scenario, find an excuse, and rush to your doc. speaking to a professional can bring relief in itself.

p.s i just started day 4 myself and the emotions are just all over the place. hang in there!

DayTrader

Good for YOU!

Not "good" that you're a mess.....but good 1. that you recognize it and 2. that you're courageous enough to say it.

Farrrrrrrrr too often, especially when we're new, we feel compelled to say we're feeling the way we think we should be feeling rather than how things REALLY are. Drunk or sober, sometimes our inclination is to try to portray ourselves as some sort of perfect hologram of who we really are. Well......getting sober requires a lot of honesty and the place we get started on that "honesty path" is by getting honest with ourselves and with others ABOUT ourselves.

For me.....that sort of stuff didn't start to ease up for a while.....and when it did, it eased like it was moving in slow motion. I had toyed with AA up until then but it was suggested that since I couldn't seem to just talk myself into a good mood, since I couldn't convince myself to just "feel better," since I couldn't seem to moderate my emotional state.........that maybe what I was experiencing was the second half of step 1 - "...that our lives had become unmanageable." <--- that made complete sense to me and it reeeeally helped me "get" the 1st step.

I didn't necessarily believe 100% it would come true for me........but I'd been told over and over and over and over again that if I'd just commit to the process of recovery in AA that those "issues" would no longer have that same power over me, my emotions and my life. That if I'd stick around and do the same stuff others before me had done that I'd get to a place where I could experience peace and serenity - maybe not 24/7 but a whooooole lot more than I was at the time or ever had been. And I was told that if I'd set aside my prejudices against AA for just a while and give it a sincere and objective try.....that I could always say it was hogwash and walk away but that the odds were I'd probably discover the same thing "they" had - that I like the effect of working the steps/program.

In the short term......I never found much of anything that would take my mind off my troubles other than ONE bizarre thing. Walks, writing, reading, "working harder" at work, etc....... none of that stuff seemed to work. It was like, the more I tried to push those thoughts away, the stronger they got. When I was doing something for someone else though......maybe helping out a client that I'd ordinarily blow off.....or helping a co-worker who could use the help.....or being nice to a stranger that I would have just walked past and said nothing..... that stuff seemed to make "my issues" shrink a little. It was my big introduction to being willing to set aside MY problems to help someone else with theirs. It's a HUGE "spiritual law" (if you will) that if we'll stop focusing on ourselves (and our "troubles") and instead focus on what God would rather us do (ie - help others), OUR PROBLEMS begin to dissipate........and it works amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazingly well. Give THAT one a shot..... I'll guarantee you'll feel better in no time.

EmeraldRose

Crying is a 'release' of all the emotions. It is a good thing. Unfortunately, you are at work. As others mentioned, get out on the fresh air and take a break.

Hope you cat is feeling better, too.

1undone

Hey, it's okay to cry. You are going through hell. What are you thinking about? What is prompting the sadness aside from the obvious withdrawal? Also, I had to do the antidepressant thing because I screwed my brain chemistry up so bad.

What are the underlying thoughts causing the sadness? I can tell you I was the same way between the guilt, remorse, sureal, demoralizing and just general sadness I was a mess.

Hugs.

LaFemme

I agree with endlesspatience...try practicing gratitude. Maybe even be grateful that you are so emotional and crying. It is a release and it is healthy.

As for being at work...get some damp paper towels and place them on your face for 10 minutes...breathe deeply...and then go for a short walk if possible.

Congrats on day 5...your emotions will even out.

alchy

Thanks all the quick replies helped a lot. Still down but I got my #$%& together at least now. Followed what advice I could. Water on face, walk, positive thinking. And took a valerian root which I had for sleeping but brought a few here in case I was anxious.

Will try post more tongiht when on a computer. Thanks so much for helping me through mh first bout with the depression and emotional roller coaster that is recovery.

Bikeguy

Glad we could help a little, stay strong, you can do it!

1undone

Isn't this place helpful!

Reed22

This may not be terribly helpful... but I have found that sometimes when all else fails, just put your head down and ENDURE

It's frustrating because that doesn't give you much direction, I know. But sometimes cravings or waves of sadness/ frustration/ depression are like bad storms - in the worst of it you just have to ride it out and rely on the CERTAINTY that the feeling will pass (it may come back, mind you, and may really never leave completely - but the crushing parts will pass and you will find strength in weathering the storm!)

Good luck to you!

Dee74

glad you're feeling a little better alchy

Early recovery is an emotional rollercoaster for all us - I think with all we've been through it needs to be really - but eventually things level out again

best wishes for your cat too

alchy

Wow, today sucked. This afternoon I had kind of a panic attack at work too. Heart was racing etc. Just started going for a walk and doing something active at work. I work with my brother so I went to talk to him and told him about what's going on. He was very supportive as I knew he would be. Weirdly though, as soon as I was done talking to him, all of my anxiety was gone and I felt kind of at peace. Of course it came back later though. lol Damn it.
Thanks again for all the quick replies, they REALLY helped. Day 5 nearing an end. On to day six.
And it looks like our cat will be ok. She's about 16, has been at 65% kidney failure for a year now and we give her saline shots and pills. Dr, said she probably has a thyroid problem now too but it's treatable and said she's in beautiful shape. Feels dumb worrying about our cat so much, but we love our kitty. I'd imagine though that I wouldn't have been that emotional wreck if I weren;t detoxing and would have been a mess even if the cat wasn't sick.

And to answer some of the questions, there was nothing in particular I was thinking this morning or that was bothering me. It was jus a general very deep sad for no reason. Other than the cat of course, but we've dealt with worse. I do find myself in bad moods lately and sometimes lying in bed I just can't shake negative thoughts. Just another exciting part of recovery I guess.

lovinmenow

Hi Alchy,
I hope you are feeling a little better. I wish I saw this post earlier in the day but right now is the first time I logged on all day. I truly understand what you are going through but you have to understand that "the monster" will do anything to get you to drink..even make you emotional. Stay strong and tell him to "you know what" and get on with your day. Do not be beat by this. Emotions can be a huge trigger. As long as you acknowledge this you can get through it.

You also need to remember that you have probably been numbing yourself with booze for so long that when real feelings in you arise you are not sure how to deal with them. That raw feeling can also be a trigger. Just remember that it will take some time to heal so suck it up and keep going.

P.S. Eat a big watermelon and wash all the remaining poison out of your system. You will feel like a new man.

LaFemme

When I was newly sober I often went to sleep super early...I found it helpful.

Glad you made it through and that Kitty is ok

Zencat

Simple and sweet...I like it

Sometimes that's all a person can do when their emotions are having their way or at least it is for me, just carry on and get things done. I found being emotional is not a problem unless I sink into a complete emotional breakdown where I stop everything I'm doing to remain healthy. Then for me, deep depression and total apathy takeover. That would be the start of a downward spiral into the abyss

Anna

Hi,

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better and I'm so glad that your cat is doing well.

I know it's an emotional roller coaster, and how lucky you are to be able to work with your brother and let him know what's going on. I suspect that the anxiety will ease up as the days go by.

artsoul

Hi alchy - sorry it's been such a hard day - it's good that you're talking about it, though.

Alcohol affects seratonin and dopamine, so when we get sober our brains have to readjust. So don't feel bad - there's actually a physiological reason for the moods we go through at first.

It gets better, so hang in there!!:ghug3

Missy7

I have truly found that just allowing gratitude into my day really helps.

But I will say that on a recent day two I went to a butcher counter and the butcher told me he wouldn't cut up a steak--he said he doesn't cut raw meat. I said, Really? You don't cut raw meat? And I just wanted to cry. It was such a weird response.

So logic isn't part of this. Just hang on.

You made such a good decision coming here.