ajangel

I was so angry yesterday. So angry that I was crying and trembling. Had it not been for the fact that I was on my way out the door for work, it may have gotten real ugly. I am by no means violent. Now that I am sober, the truth is so obvious. How did I allow myself to be so weak and insecure? I am not only mad at my situation but the situation I allowed myself to be in for the last 5 years. My question to myself is, was alcohol the problem or what I thought was the solution to the problem. Probably both. I am amazed how much strength and clarity I am gaining every day that I am sober. It is time to start my new life without guilt, and shame.

Kjell

Hi LP-

Yep, been there and it's not a fun place to be.

Try to go easy on yourself and be grateful you've come to this realization. It could be worse, you could still be "out there" drinking in ignorance and denial.

By the time I figured out I was an alcoholic, sure alcohol was my main problem, but once I quit, I was still stuck with me. I soon realized I was my own problem the entire time.

Wow.

Hurt. More pain.

...but that realization set me free and on the road to recovery.

Kjell~

EmeraldRose

I'm sorry those feelings are creeping up on you. I had alot of 'wish it were different' feelings, too. But I can't change the past 30 years, I can only change the next 30.
Deal with them and move on so your new sobriety isn't affected by old baggage.
Wishing you peace and strength.

ajangel

Good for me to rid myself of both relationships

Anna

I do understand the shift in perspective in recovery.

I felt like my eyes were open for the first time in my life, and some of it I wanted to see, and some of it, I didn't.

recoverywfaith

I can relate and am sorry you are experiencing pain. So much of my life wish I could go back and change...what I am doing today is trying to live right and making the necessary changes one day at a time with the serenity prayer.

indakut

Sounds very familiar....Keep pressing on.....