Well then...here we (I) go AGAIN
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Moscow, ID
Posts: 6
Well then...here we (I) go AGAIN
After finally succumbing to the alcoholic tendencies that have slowly (but surely) consumed my life....I am finally ready to take seriously the truth that I simply can't control my addiction to alcohol and the only solution is to live without it.
I have gone a full month TWICE without a drink in the past four months both times crashing miserably. The odd part is how good I felt when I wasn't drinking and then feeling compelled to go and screw it all up by adding the poison that is alcohol back into my system and just like that, wham, back to the proverbial races we go.
Anyway, due to a number of factors I have finally admitted to myself that I can't control it and that everyone else wasn't stupid for not realizing that....
It's amazing the control this drug has over your life to the point of where it controls you as opposed to vice-versa. And not in a good way.
So...... Here I am taking it a day at a time and actually going to do both AA and private therapy this time around. I have a child and a family to think about and leverage as motivation, but more importantly I have myself to save.
And I am almost a week into this new life of mine and I feel pretty damn good. So I am thinking this is the right decision and this is FINALLY the right time. Reading through some of the other posts here helps me realize I am not alone and for that I am thankful.
Together we can do this..
I have gone a full month TWICE without a drink in the past four months both times crashing miserably. The odd part is how good I felt when I wasn't drinking and then feeling compelled to go and screw it all up by adding the poison that is alcohol back into my system and just like that, wham, back to the proverbial races we go.
Anyway, due to a number of factors I have finally admitted to myself that I can't control it and that everyone else wasn't stupid for not realizing that....
It's amazing the control this drug has over your life to the point of where it controls you as opposed to vice-versa. And not in a good way.
So...... Here I am taking it a day at a time and actually going to do both AA and private therapy this time around. I have a child and a family to think about and leverage as motivation, but more importantly I have myself to save.
And I am almost a week into this new life of mine and I feel pretty damn good. So I am thinking this is the right decision and this is FINALLY the right time. Reading through some of the other posts here helps me realize I am not alone and for that I am thankful.
Together we can do this..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
Welcome Mayor!
It's getting late and I'm about to retire but you nailed it with you're not alone and together we can (and are) doing this together!
I use both AA and SR. I also have a psychiatrist that I've had for years who I don't (oddly enough) see that much anymore now that I'm not drinking. Don't be afraid to throw your net as far and as wide as possible. Glad you're here!
It's getting late and I'm about to retire but you nailed it with you're not alone and together we can (and are) doing this together!
I use both AA and SR. I also have a psychiatrist that I've had for years who I don't (oddly enough) see that much anymore now that I'm not drinking. Don't be afraid to throw your net as far and as wide as possible. Glad you're here!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Hi Mayor - I'm a newbie too. I'm right there with you - been through exactly what you described. Actually, the thoughts are coming already after 10 days about maybe being able to manage (ha, as if) and I'm using SR to help me know that it just doesn't work.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Welcome. Glad to hear it's your time. I don't hear a pity party from you, I hear 'I want to take action and change'. That's the confidence you need to be successful. Keep it up...
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hi M-
This is one battle in your life where surrendering is key to saving your life.
As you go forward in your recovery, remember to remain willing, honest, and open minded.
GREAT job
Kjell~
This is one battle in your life where surrendering is key to saving your life.
As you go forward in your recovery, remember to remain willing, honest, and open minded.
GREAT job
Kjell~
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Mayor - I'm so glad you're getting support and want to stay sober.
That was me too..... Once I had a drink or two, the only thing on my mind would be having another (and another and another). Trying to moderate or just drink occasionally was torturous.
This place has been an enormous help to me. Keep the faith, take it a day at a time....... it's worth it!:ghug3
and just like that, wham, back to the proverbial races we go.
This place has been an enormous help to me. Keep the faith, take it a day at a time....... it's worth it!:ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Moscow, ID
Posts: 6
Thanks for the kind words of support everyone. It actually quite warms my heart to know I am not out here alone.
Funny how a group of people that understand each other makes us only stronger exponentially - I know this because I can ALREADY feel it.
Funny how a group of people that understand each other makes us only stronger exponentially - I know this because I can ALREADY feel it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 200
Hi Mayor, I am right there with you. Today is day six after a binge ended a 53- day sobriety streak. I feel.....ok, with moments of anxiety/depression peppering my wake time.
Family, self, career.....in that order, for me.
Welcome.
Family, self, career.....in that order, for me.
Welcome.
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