Saying goodbye to my past
Saying goodbye to my past
Alcohol was never my drug of choice, though when I was abusing my drug of choice I often ended up abusing alcohol as well. I have a very fine and expensive collection of fine spirits. I never abused them, because I have a practical streak that said it was crazy to guzzle expensive liquor. It is meant to be sipped, when I binged, it was always the cheap stuff. I only ever got wasted on the cheap stuff.
I hoped someday I could drink again, enjoy sipping those fine spirits. A recent relapse has not only robbed me of a taste for the stuff, but knocked some sense into me. I CANNOT drink, drug of choice or not, I cannot drink.
So, here I am with gallons of the stuff, nearly 1000 bucks worth. But it's time to let go. I am giving away my bottles to people who appreciate fine spirits and who do not have substance abuse issues. I admit, as I was packing some up for a friend for future delivery, I thought maybe I should set at least one bottle aside...for someday, for a super duper special event...
Maybe I will leave one in safe keeping with a friend, they can break it out at my funeral and have a drink on me.
I am sharing this here to keep me honest and accountable. I don't want to do this, I don't want it to be true that I am a person who can't handle a drink, or a pill, or any of the other things that I "use" in active addiction. I don't want any of that to be true. Through this act I am admitting it IS true, and that I am willing to do what it takes to stay clean.
Grrrrrrrrrrrr
I hoped someday I could drink again, enjoy sipping those fine spirits. A recent relapse has not only robbed me of a taste for the stuff, but knocked some sense into me. I CANNOT drink, drug of choice or not, I cannot drink.
So, here I am with gallons of the stuff, nearly 1000 bucks worth. But it's time to let go. I am giving away my bottles to people who appreciate fine spirits and who do not have substance abuse issues. I admit, as I was packing some up for a friend for future delivery, I thought maybe I should set at least one bottle aside...for someday, for a super duper special event...
Maybe I will leave one in safe keeping with a friend, they can break it out at my funeral and have a drink on me.
I am sharing this here to keep me honest and accountable. I don't want to do this, I don't want it to be true that I am a person who can't handle a drink, or a pill, or any of the other things that I "use" in active addiction. I don't want any of that to be true. Through this act I am admitting it IS true, and that I am willing to do what it takes to stay clean.
Grrrrrrrrrrrr
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: far away
Posts: 392
may gods light shine upon you mate. atleast you undertsnad your wrongs.next part is going forward with strength and character!
and keep the dear stuff as it gets more expensive with age. !!!
good luck.
and keep the dear stuff as it gets more expensive with age. !!!
good luck.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 51
Much luck and strength to you Threshold!
I hate that I cannot have just "a beer"... but it is true and I cant ignore than fact any more.
No sipping, no pounding, no "relaxing with just a few"... it has to be zero and thats just the way it is
I hate that I cannot have just "a beer"... but it is true and I cant ignore than fact any more.
No sipping, no pounding, no "relaxing with just a few"... it has to be zero and thats just the way it is
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
CHUCK THE LOT OUT. You know you are kidding yourself, keeping something back for a "special event", its all alcohol for God's sake, its all gonna take you to the same place whether you paid £10 or £100 its all the same. Good luck.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)