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How Many Bottoms Does it Take?

Old 06-11-2011, 09:54 PM
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How Many Bottoms Does it Take?

I am just wondering about the 'bottoms' everyone talks about. I have had many many situations that should have been bottoms and felt like bottoms at the time. Then, I continue eventually. This is terrifying. Is it possible to just realize that this is enough without some HUGE moment?
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Old 06-11-2011, 09:58 PM
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although many equate a 'bottom' with an event, for me it was a decision - I decided I couldn't live that way one more day.

I had many moments that should have been wake up moments too - but for one reason or another they weren't.

I believe we can decide to stop, and get help, any time we like

D
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Old 06-12-2011, 12:05 AM
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Theres a saying that your bottom is when you decide to stop digging. For me I odnt think there is a bottom. Mine is like falling from the top of a tree and hitting branches all the way down. I hit one and think thats it but then it breaks and there I go falling again. Hitting every one all the way down. Unfortunatly I dotnt think I have hit the ground yet. But I dont need to in order to relize I can stop anytime I want by doing what I have to do to get and stay clean. I have been sorta looking for that "moment" to make me get it. It hasnt happened yet and doubt it ever will. The only true "moment" for me will be when I finally surrender 100% and stay commited to recovery.
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Old 06-12-2011, 12:15 AM
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I'm not sure about hitting a "bottom" , or if the incredible lows that I hit were in themselves enough at the time to make me stop. I think what did it was the realisation that I just did not want to do that anymore, did not want to feel that anymore, did not want the rest of my life to be lived as I was living it. Not anymore.

I believe we can all stop and move forward into recovery, when we decide to.
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Old 06-12-2011, 01:06 AM
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Originally Posted by littlegirllost7 View Post
I am just wondering about the 'bottoms' everyone talks about. I have had many many situations that should have been bottoms and felt like bottoms at the time. Then, I continue eventually. This is terrifying. Is it possible to just realize that this is enough without some HUGE moment?
In one word? Yes.

As the others have eluded to from their personal experience we all see the 'hitting bottom' experience differently - or rather experience it differently.

As Dee said, it be as simple as deciding the time is now. For others such as myself my last bottom that got me sober this time was far, far, far from my worse ever situation. BUT it was an experience that occurred during a time when I was truly ready to get sober and finally acknowledge the idea that I can maybe go back one day was a deadly illusion - I finally knew in my heart of hearts the war was over and I had lost.

So I surrendered and I went over to the winning side.

For those of us dying in the quagmire of addictions, every so often we have opportunities arise, whether they are from internal revelations, external situations, or a combination of both when a 'window' to sobriety opens up. It's up to us to decide if we are ready to jump through it and traverse to the other side, the side of believing in living life sober. It's an amazing adventure, I wish you the best.
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Old 06-12-2011, 03:37 AM
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Im not sure its about how many times you hit it, its more like how hard you actually hit it that makes the difference. Ive hit lots of bottoms, but I know this one was different. I was physically, mentally, spiritually spent. Yeah sure I was all those times before too. What was different with this bottom? Acceptance. I accepted I literally cannot drink...like a 'normal' person. Its just not me, never has been, never will be. I accept that and I learn to live my life soberly. Absolutely its been terribly hard being sober, i've thought many times 'if this is what sober feels like id rather be killing myself as a drunk'. But that's cos I was that drunk, and I had to learn how to live in the real world, with the real me and figure out who that real me is and be ok with that. Im still working on it but DAM am I grateful to be sober :-)
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Old 06-12-2011, 04:11 AM
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Originally Posted by littlegirllost7 View Post
Is it possible to just realize that this is enough without some HUGE moment?
Absolutely! For me the turning point was realizing that I can.not.moderate. I mean it's not like I open a bottle and wake up in a dumpster the next morning. But if I have one I want 8 and usually can't stop until at least 6. Sometimes I can but then I'm tense and obsessed with it.

From an outside perspective my bottom could have been a lot lower. But it was the end of the road for me. No good could come of my life the way it was going. And it was not going to turn around while I allowed my obsession for moderation to be the focus point.
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Old 06-12-2011, 04:22 AM
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Hello,
That is a good question for which I had an answer. I was once told that you didnt have to have more than one bottom. I wis this was my situation bur its not. I'm entering treatment tomorrow morning for my Opiate addiction that once again has its grip on me. I'm so scared for what the next few days has instore for me. I cant do this any longer this monkey has to go!!

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Old 06-12-2011, 04:53 AM
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Sadly many people fall off the radar when they try to find their bottom, or convince themselves that although what they are doing is not ok, it still isnt their bottom.

Drinking one day at a time is a very dangerous game.
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Old 06-12-2011, 05:53 AM
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Personally, I think a quitting point is when a person knows that if they have drink in hand and look over the edge of the cliff, that they can't see the bottom. When one finally accepts that alcohol does nothing for them and everything to them. When drinking becomes purely nonsense and they accept this to their innermost core. We have to know that it can always get worse and never get better.
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Old 06-12-2011, 05:56 AM
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I think I have had many bottoms this past year. My final bottom is blacking out every time I drink, that is scary and humiliating. My bottom is that my soul feels robbed and I do not feel like I am living the life I should be. Picking myself up and dusting off for the last time. I was sober for five years before and know how glorious it feels, I was myself. I am going to stop drinking for me and not drink because everyone else expects me to be the party girl. This party girl is getting too old for this..It's My Time...
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Old 06-12-2011, 07:28 AM
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I was looking for one too. For me it would have been 6ft under. Lucky for me desperation kicked in and that's what made me stop. I couldn't live that way anymore, I still have cravings and annoying thoughts about drinking. I even dream about it. BLA! But I was close to doing something really bad so I had to stop.
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Old 06-12-2011, 03:22 PM
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I read in the big book that your 'bottom' is when the last thing you lost or the next thing you are about to lose is more important to you than alcohol.
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Old 06-12-2011, 03:42 PM
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My bottom was the misery. Not just the occasional misery that everyone goes through but the day in day out misery. I didn't want it anymore so I did something about it.
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Old 06-12-2011, 06:19 PM
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My bottom was every day for the last year or so that I was drinking. Every morning I put shots in my coffee. That started out as "hair of the dog" once in a while for years, but then it was every morning to stop the shakes and the dry heaves and the dizziness. 3 to five shots in coffee to both feel better and get to where I didn't care I was drinking as soon as my eyes opened. I hit my bottom every morning and could not stop. I finally gave up and checked into detox. I swore never again. I broke my cycle. I don't miss it, I don't want to go back, I don't want to try to control it, I am done. No one knows their bottom except in hindsight. (Pun int.) The ones who relapse haven't hit theirs yet.
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Old 06-12-2011, 07:46 PM
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I didn't have a big event that made me stop, mine was very small, probably insignificant to some. I was shopping with my mother one day and she noticed I was hung over. She didn't even make a fuss, apologized for not minding her own business. That was the last time I drank though.

I'd also had times when I'd hit very bad depressions and anxiety. Just couldn't seem to stop though. After the last incident however, I decided to try and change my plan, called some numbers and consulted with a range of professionals to get back on track. They helped me through some things I'd felt were previously hindering my sobriety. And this time I was prepared to be serious and follow through on it, as I was just so tired of start-stop-start-stop recovery. I knew that was pointing me towards a major breakdown if I didn't get help, so I was prepared to follow any advice.
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Old 06-12-2011, 08:16 PM
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Oh yes, I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. All that fear was just killing me. I don't miss that.
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