Jil

Well obviously something like this was bound to happen. I got a call from a guy that I used to love to party with- that was 99% of our relationship. It's times like this that make me really miss drinking. The old me would have been so down to hang out with him, have some drinks and basically get f*cked up. The new me wants to. I wish this phone call had never happened, but it is inevitable that these things are going to occur. I'm angry because I miss being able to party and have a great time. I miss the old me, even though I know how destructive she was. It's times like this where I know I can say no to the alcohol and partying, but I don't know if I can overcome the jealousy and anger towards those who are able to do these things. I miss the buzz, the ability to unwind, and the feeling that alcohol gave me.

Dee74

How long have you been sober now Jil?

I missed the old life too - when it was all I knew.

I think it takes more than just not drinking to be in recovery.

A very big part of recovery as I see it is building a new life - finding happiness joy and fufillment without resorting to alcohol.

sometimes that means spreading our wings and doing new things, finding sober friends and sober parties...and letting some old friends go.

I had to change a lot of things in my life, and I had to work hard at it, but I ended up with a new life I wouldn't change for anything.

At the risk of hubris, they haven't invented the drink good enough to risk what I have now

D

Jil

It has been 103 days now. It gets easier... and then a call like this makes it harder.

Ghostly

Congrats on 103 days! That is great.

Think it just comes down to what you want. It is ok to miss some things. I do too. You have to decide what things are worth. I never want to go back to those days. Try to find things you appreciate without the alcohol.

Good luck.

tomdecel

Same thing happened to me. An old friend who moved out of town came back for three days and called Sunday morning and said how about we go out for drinks and listen to some jazz Sunday night.

I just said how about we do lunch Tuesday instead. We did. Friendship (and sobriety) intact.

I have many memories of the two of us partying in past years, but that ain't me anymore. My friend knows and accepts that. I have managed to re-invent myself to who I am now and like Dee says, "they haven't invented the drink good enough to risk what I have now." True friendships survive.

Thanks.

TheJungianThing

As an alcoholic I find it perfectly normal to miss it from to time. For a long time alcohol was my higher power. Rest assured it is still more powerful than I am, but it was that upon which I relied for ANYTHING and EVERTYHING. Happy times, booze made them happier. Sad times, booze made them bearable. Lonely, dark, desloate times by myself - booze and I had our own party. I actually grieved over "losing" it for a short time.

When those fleeting moments of misssing its effects occur I see them as a reminder of the fact - I'm alcoholic man, ain't two ways about it. Talking to a moderate drinker about my "relationship" with alcohol is always a funny experience. They think I'm a bit nuts, I'm reminded that at least with respect to alcohol - I was and can be still.

I got over the feelings of envy, watching those enjoy their drinks and sometimes even out and out drunkeness with impunity. And the other day sitting in traffic I found myself drifting off into my mind - the truth is - I can romanticize and rationalize ANYTHING when it comes to alcohol. Sanity returned quickly, I laughed a bit. I wouldn't trade my sober life for my drunk life for a second. I'm free today, truly free. Alcohol, just made me feel free, all the while tightening its grip on my soul, my mind and my body.

But today, I not only feel free - I am free - and I dig that.

Good luck to you. Congrats on 103 days

SomethingBetter

103 days is about where im at, for me it is getting where for the first time in my life im not thinking about Not drinking booze every second of every day and just when i least expect it something alcohol related pops up. Bam!

I think these are fragile times, times we really need to stay focused...

Congrats on 103 days!

instant

would there be a downside to taking up the offer?

"Missing it" has got me back every time

coffeenut

Take a minute and think about it...do you really miss the madness? There is something that brought you to SR and brought you the desire to quit. Do you want to deal with that again?

103 days is Awesome! Sometimes I think dealing with things like this, makes us stronger. Good luck to you!

saphira

Congrats on 103 days! That is amazing!! You have a lot more days sober that I do, but whenever I miss drinking, I take it step by step and think about what it is actually that I miss. I picture myself taking a drink and where that will lead to, what I'll feel like the next day...and that helps. It makes it clear that I don't miss alcohol...it's just the addict in my brain. It helps if I separate them. Stay strong and be proud of your 103 days!!

Mark75

Yea, I know that feeling. You can overcome it, but it takes a change, a basic psychic change...

I found that getting more experience with having a good time sober helped a lot. So, besides drinking, what do you like to do? If you don't have an answer, it's time to find out, what it is you like to do... When you find that there is, in fact, life after booze, those feelings will fade and begin to make way for new feelings... gratitude, for one, that you are not drunk on your ass sputtering around, or worse.

Hang in there, it gets better. Are you working a program of recovery?

Zube

Jil-

First, congrats on 103 days.

Second, have you tried AA? Jealousy and anger are normal feelings. However, jealousy and anger will usually lead to a relapse without a plan of action in place to deal with those feelings when they come up. AA will introduce you to that plan of action, not just for early recovery, but for the rest of your life.

Good luck and best wishes,
Zube

artsoul

Thanks for the post, Jil! After a year sober, I still have those thoughts once in a while - sometimes I get triggered by a person or an event (such as a holiday) or sometimes they just come out of the blue. At 3 months they were still pretty strong and made me really uncomfortable.

There were days when I had to come here and read, read, read, until I felt grounded again. I had to go back to one hour or one minute at a time. The thing to remember is that these thoughts/feelings don't last. And they don't have to control your actions.

I don't get jealous or upset anymore about other people drinking. It took a while to get to this point, but believe me it's worth it. You'll get there too!