Will the obsessive thoughts ever end???
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Will the obsessive thoughts ever end???
I am so tired of the thoughts swirling around in my head about drinking! I feel like running around in circles and screaming to drown them out!!!! Day 23 is coming to a close and all I can think about are all the times I had fun drinking. Never mind the fact that in the last five of those years I've been blacking out and making an idiot out of myself.
I don't want to care about this crap (alcohol) anymore! I don't want to give it any thought but I am not shaking it. Now I have a good idea about OCD.
I'm not sure why I'm posting. I think I'm just sick of walking around with these thought. I'm tired of it all.
I don't want to care about this crap (alcohol) anymore! I don't want to give it any thought but I am not shaking it. Now I have a good idea about OCD.
I'm not sure why I'm posting. I think I'm just sick of walking around with these thought. I'm tired of it all.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I found the obsessive thoughts died the more I worked on my recovery 1undone....
the more I worked and built a life I wanted to keep, the less I thought about the element that would surely bring all that crashing down....
It can take time - sometimes more time than we'd like, but it will happen so long as you keep working on your recovery
What have you been doing for your recovery today?
D
the more I worked and built a life I wanted to keep, the less I thought about the element that would surely bring all that crashing down....
It can take time - sometimes more time than we'd like, but it will happen so long as you keep working on your recovery
What have you been doing for your recovery today?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
I messed up today is actuall day 24. Oh well...
I went to my AA group tonight, we read from the BB and discussed. But I sat there like a lump of nothing. I could have contributed but I just felt so "tired" of my own thoughts. I'm sick of my brain. Can I trade it in for a new one?
I also came here to hash out the obsessive thinking and to see if there is hope for me. Probably sounds dramatic but this really feels awful. I don't want to drink but I'm giving myself such a mind-*F* these past few days. I'll probably feel better in the morning...
I went to my AA group tonight, we read from the BB and discussed. But I sat there like a lump of nothing. I could have contributed but I just felt so "tired" of my own thoughts. I'm sick of my brain. Can I trade it in for a new one?
I also came here to hash out the obsessive thinking and to see if there is hope for me. Probably sounds dramatic but this really feels awful. I don't want to drink but I'm giving myself such a mind-*F* these past few days. I'll probably feel better in the morning...
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
I think the obsessive thoughts are perhaps the worst aspect of this disease. I was plagued throughout my first month. It's difficult for me to remember when it began to stop. I just started having moments here and there, I realized I had stopped thinking about alcohol. Over time, those moments became more frequent and lasted longer, I can get through my day now with none of those thoughts. It's a great freedom, it takes time and effort, I wish I could say it could be done in a brief time. Unfortunately not, it's a lifetime commitment, but it is genuinely worth it.
If the obsessive thoughts are still there constantly at the end of say two months, and you've done what you can... I tend to think you should really be looking at further help and assessment. In the end, that's what I did, had my depression/mood disorder treated, I was also given anti craving medication etc. That was after two months of struggling primarily on my own however, which wasn't ideal. The main point is to have an appropriate recovery plan for yourself and support you can reach out to if you need it. I didn't have AA (nothing at all against it) but still had support I could reach out to 24/7, a list of numbers if I needed help, that often saved me when I was in trouble.
If the obsessive thoughts are still there constantly at the end of say two months, and you've done what you can... I tend to think you should really be looking at further help and assessment. In the end, that's what I did, had my depression/mood disorder treated, I was also given anti craving medication etc. That was after two months of struggling primarily on my own however, which wasn't ideal. The main point is to have an appropriate recovery plan for yourself and support you can reach out to if you need it. I didn't have AA (nothing at all against it) but still had support I could reach out to 24/7, a list of numbers if I needed help, that often saved me when I was in trouble.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
I found that thoughts about drinking are only as powerful as I give them. I learned to challenge drinking thoughts with more powerful thoughts about staying healthy. Another way that has helped me with drinking thoughts is to STOP them all together.
As it is in life, learning new skills take time and practice, but the payoff is great.
I wish you well because I sure do know what it is like to have a mind that dose its on thing wile I suffer because of it.
As it is in life, learning new skills take time and practice, but the payoff is great.
I wish you well because I sure do know what it is like to have a mind that dose its on thing wile I suffer because of it.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Your mid brain, altered by years of drinking, is fighting for its life. It--your addiction--needs alcohol. And these thoughts are its way of letting you know how important it is. Don't give in! It will quiet and you will know then who's in charge of your recovery. YOU.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
1undone,
Are you working the twelve steps of AA? The promises of Step Ten (bottom of page 84 and top of page 85 in the Big Book) came true for me through working the steps. The obsessive thoughts that had plagued me suddenly disappeared (completely). I have no desire at all to drink anymore. You can have those same promises if you do the work.
Susan
Are you working the twelve steps of AA? The promises of Step Ten (bottom of page 84 and top of page 85 in the Big Book) came true for me through working the steps. The obsessive thoughts that had plagued me suddenly disappeared (completely). I have no desire at all to drink anymore. You can have those same promises if you do the work.
Susan
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
One thing I did that helped me get through the first couple of weeks was I imagined that all alcohol was warm, golden, smelly, rancid, urine. I did my best to really sit back and close my eyes daily for 5-10 minutes and just relax and think about this nasty urine that is in every bottle that has alcohol in it. I made such a strong impact on brain that the first time I actually saw someone drinking a beer I almost dry heaved.
Then start focusing on how good it feels to be sober everyday. Eventually you will lose all urges to drink and you will look forward to everyday sober. Good luck!
Then start focusing on how good it feels to be sober everyday. Eventually you will lose all urges to drink and you will look forward to everyday sober. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 395
lol....welcome to the insane asylum. It is pure insanity and the worst part about it is that you are cognizant of it. You know that you are lying to yourself, but you can't help it. Its insane, its insidious, its alcoholism.
But you don't have to trust those thoughts. You don't have to act on them. Recognize that they are false thoughts and try to let go, ask for help, pray, read the BB or other recovery lit, do something nice for yourself or another person, etc.
The obsessive, crawling out of your mind thoughts do go away. It varies by person. I can't honestly say when they go away, but they don't. However, don't mistake that as the ultimate goal of recovery. Alcoholics will and do pick up after those thoughts ceased and that is even more insane.
But you don't have to trust those thoughts. You don't have to act on them. Recognize that they are false thoughts and try to let go, ask for help, pray, read the BB or other recovery lit, do something nice for yourself or another person, etc.
The obsessive, crawling out of your mind thoughts do go away. It varies by person. I can't honestly say when they go away, but they don't. However, don't mistake that as the ultimate goal of recovery. Alcoholics will and do pick up after those thoughts ceased and that is even more insane.
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
Originally Posted by 1undone 
I am so tired of the thoughts swirling around in my head about drinking!
Originally Posted by 1undone
I feel like running around in circles and creaming to drown them out!!!!
Where you may have no control over the obsession (yet) you do have control of what occupies your mind.
Try to occupy your mind with positive sober thoughts. You have to work at it, but set your vision on a bright sober future. Meditate, visualize, daydream if you have to, but do everything you can to see a positive image for yourself and those around you. As soon as you get a negative image, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and replace with something else, abstract or real. You can do it if you can first see it in your mind.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 13
Hi 1undone,
You feel like you are running around in circles with the obsessive thoughts, but when you drank you were chasing a high, a feeling. Essentially chasing your own tail, running in cirlces. It's a viscious cycle. If you can think past the urge, you can get through it. The thoughts will subside. I have been sober almost 60 days now, just last week out of NOWHERE, I had the urge to go buy beer and drink every last drop. Then I thought...and then what. Regret it, wake up hungover, throw up, be sick for two days, not worth it. A friend of mine in recovery also told me that when he gets the urge he tells himself he will drink tomorrow, not today, but tomorrow. And guess what, that "tomorrow" keeps getting put off one more day and he doesn't pick up again. Find what works for you. Hang in there!
You feel like you are running around in circles with the obsessive thoughts, but when you drank you were chasing a high, a feeling. Essentially chasing your own tail, running in cirlces. It's a viscious cycle. If you can think past the urge, you can get through it. The thoughts will subside. I have been sober almost 60 days now, just last week out of NOWHERE, I had the urge to go buy beer and drink every last drop. Then I thought...and then what. Regret it, wake up hungover, throw up, be sick for two days, not worth it. A friend of mine in recovery also told me that when he gets the urge he tells himself he will drink tomorrow, not today, but tomorrow. And guess what, that "tomorrow" keeps getting put off one more day and he doesn't pick up again. Find what works for you. Hang in there!
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
1undone
Part A : Before quitting alcohol I thought about
• Planning to drink
• Worrying about all the consequences that were piling up
• Planning to minimize consequences
• Worrying about the future due to alcohol
• Suffering with hangovers
• Planning to consume food and fluids to get rid of hangover
• Concealing the fact that I am hung-over
• Drinking and slobbering drunken thoughts
• Worrying about not functioning well at work
• Trying to act normally around my kids when I was drinking
Part B: Now At day 24 free of the socially acceptable toxin
I obsess about not drinking –I spend a lot of time doing it- at times it is tiresome-
I spend no time thinking about part A unless I want to focus on it
It’s a fair trade. Then………factor in the fact that they say this gets better- I’m in
Hang in there
Instant
Part A : Before quitting alcohol I thought about
• Planning to drink
• Worrying about all the consequences that were piling up
• Planning to minimize consequences
• Worrying about the future due to alcohol
• Suffering with hangovers
• Planning to consume food and fluids to get rid of hangover
• Concealing the fact that I am hung-over
• Drinking and slobbering drunken thoughts
• Worrying about not functioning well at work
• Trying to act normally around my kids when I was drinking
Part B: Now At day 24 free of the socially acceptable toxin
I obsess about not drinking –I spend a lot of time doing it- at times it is tiresome-
I spend no time thinking about part A unless I want to focus on it
It’s a fair trade. Then………factor in the fact that they say this gets better- I’m in
Hang in there
Instant
.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: San francisco,ca
Posts: 112
I really like what instant said about this. Dealing with the insanity of alcohol is much easier when your sober. And it does get better, the urges do go away. I'm not sure if its because of the sober time, or because of working the steps. I've relapsed a lot in the past year, but my urges have gone down dramatically. It did take some time, about 6 months, relapsing every 1-2 months in that time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 207
Yes, it does get better. Immensely better. Hang in there!
For me there were a few things that helped. Number one was exercise. Even if it was just a walk - it was a moment when I had to focus on something else. The longer the walk or run, the better. Music in my ears helped end the chatter, also. I started to run and then started to see how far I could go. This REALLY cleared my mind because I had to focus on one foot in front of the other. It's also a sport that doesn't work well with drinking so knowing that I had to stay sober in order to run helped.
Here are two very serious things that helped above and beyond. This isn't a nice thing but it's reality so - sorry in advance for the details. My 37 year old brother died from alcoholism (hypertension caused by chronic alcoholism) in March. Very sadly, his body wasn't discovered until weeks later. When we entered his home to clean it out the smell of death was still very present. My mind was able to equate that horrid stench with alcohol. I nearly puked the next time I went to the grocery store and saw wine bottles because that smell immediately came to me. I started to see alcohol as poison with a big skull and cross bones on it. I still get ill to my stomach when I see it. Losing my brother to alcoholism and the horrible nature of his dying alone all because of this disease put it in a light I had never realized or even thought of before. It's very real now.
I know everyone has a different experience but all I can say is that it does get better. I can't believe how much better I feel at 64 days. Coming out of the fog I never knew how far down *I* was. I made so many other excuses. I didn't think I would make it this far. . . but I have. And you will, too. It will be better.
I agree with instant - my life was filled with all those points also. It's so freeing to not have to hide anymore and to "worry" about "normal" things. That freedom is amazing.
For me there were a few things that helped. Number one was exercise. Even if it was just a walk - it was a moment when I had to focus on something else. The longer the walk or run, the better. Music in my ears helped end the chatter, also. I started to run and then started to see how far I could go. This REALLY cleared my mind because I had to focus on one foot in front of the other. It's also a sport that doesn't work well with drinking so knowing that I had to stay sober in order to run helped.
Here are two very serious things that helped above and beyond. This isn't a nice thing but it's reality so - sorry in advance for the details. My 37 year old brother died from alcoholism (hypertension caused by chronic alcoholism) in March. Very sadly, his body wasn't discovered until weeks later. When we entered his home to clean it out the smell of death was still very present. My mind was able to equate that horrid stench with alcohol. I nearly puked the next time I went to the grocery store and saw wine bottles because that smell immediately came to me. I started to see alcohol as poison with a big skull and cross bones on it. I still get ill to my stomach when I see it. Losing my brother to alcoholism and the horrible nature of his dying alone all because of this disease put it in a light I had never realized or even thought of before. It's very real now.
I know everyone has a different experience but all I can say is that it does get better. I can't believe how much better I feel at 64 days. Coming out of the fog I never knew how far down *I* was. I made so many other excuses. I didn't think I would make it this far. . . but I have. And you will, too. It will be better.
I agree with instant - my life was filled with all those points also. It's so freeing to not have to hide anymore and to "worry" about "normal" things. That freedom is amazing.
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