stanleyhouse

Mama36
I'm glad to hear you have been doing well. I'm so pleased you are one of the ones who are loving life being sober, free from the physical need for alcohol and the mental obsession. I know for me, as long as I don't take a drink my physical body won't crave alcohol anymore. I never want to go back to that place. I want to keep living this peaceful life sobriety and recovery has given me. Keep up the good work.
SH

I have been given a gift; very grateful, not forgetful.

mama36

Day 3 down and feeling pretty good. I got a call back for a great job...second interview next week and had an online assessment for the company tonight. Here's hoping. I love the job I have now but this new one would be a step up, a step in a more fulfilling and challenging direction. I can't wait til Wednesday to see how it goes.

Thanks to all for your support the last 3 days...I'm so glad that I found my way back in such a short time...it could have been so much worse. Thank God for SR and all of you.

D.

mama36

Day 4 and feeling great...and I found out today that my results for my capabilities test were good so that is another step towards this new job. I'm looking forward to next week when I have my 2nd interview.

Hubby is watching the hockey game and having a few beers and it doesn't even bother me, yay. The physical effects of drinking on Saturday night are enough to turn me off of booze...I sure don't want my health to deteriorate just so that I can get buzzed. A person should be able to sit down and have 2 drinks, the limit in one sitting for women, and stop...not this person.

I'm thankful for today and for my family and all that I have.

D.

eaglette

Just wanted to say thanks to you guys and all who post here with their experiences of "trying again". I indulged in a few alcoholic beverages 39 days into sobriety my first attempt. Alcohol was not my DOC, and I figured I would be fine. Now I am on day 26 and can feel that doubt beginning to creep into my head again, telling me that I can have a glass of wine or so like "normal" people do. Reading your experiences and reflecting on my own is what keeps me from pouring myself a margarita or glass of wine.

TheEnd

Somebody said in my aftercare group "A relapse is like a marriage gone bad, we had our good times, but it's over and done with, and there is no need to dwell on it. Time to focus on our new relationship or sobriety and enjoy it".

It was something like that, it sounded so much better when they said it....

mama36

Thanks TE - I am doing my best not to dwell and just move forward - today is my new day 6 and feeling okay. Ond day at a time. I am sleeping okay and keeping busy at work. Now on to the weekend with my family and that's a great feeling.

D.

leo21

Well done mama!! I wish nothing but success for you!!

hibou

dear Mama and Pigtails, I loved your conversation. I don't know the answer to the sobriety date thing. Counting can be a measure of sobriety for some, but I truly believe for other sobriety can simply be a state of mind and not something to measure. I am so new at this that I only have thoughts and not opinions yet.
What I do know is that in my sobriety -- small amount of time but huge in my way of observing my own life -- I don't want to be defined or define myself as the person with the drink problem. I want to (in sobriety) be a person wth thoughts, feelings, etc. It is hard and will be hard for some time I think. Friends ask, 'how are you?' and what they are really asking is 'have you had a drink' or 'are you okay not having one?'. Also what I find is that when you say 'I'm great. Thanks for asking.' they don't believe you, or certainly have a skeptical tone. I know it is created by years of trying to cover up a problem, hide it away. I take a lot of comfort at the moment that when I am alone I am quite content. I guess I just need to develop a thicker skin with regard to letting others into my life. Afterall thier skepticism is merely a consequence of my own behaviour over the years...

mama36

Thanks hibou! Today is horrible, at least it is this evening. I went through those couple of hours on a Friday night saying I'm sure I can drink just once a week, can't I? I went out for a while and the craving passed and then back home it was right back there. I talked it over with hubby and got myself all upset because I want to have some drinks tonight so bad. Next thing I see, after all of the conversation and hurting, was my husband pouring a beer...omfg. Call me crazy but is that not completely insensitive? So I go outside for a smoke to get away from him and doesn't he come out there with his beer, blew the foam off of the top and took a big swill. I could have just lost it. I stormed out of the house to go and see a movie but ended up just picking up a coffee and coming home where I told him that he is an ignorant son of a bitch and that I believe he should have known better.

He has had drinks 3 times this week and it didn't bother me, but when he knows I am struggling and fighting the urge?? I would never do that to anyone...never.

I'm very upset today...I am feeling awful about it all not to mention a horrendous headache all day long. I'm on a stupid diet to try to stay thin through all of this and that is killing me too. I only reward myself with food occassionally and today isn't the day. I want to just curl up and sleep the next 3 days away.

I have been married twice and both times I was trying to quit drinking with a booze hound by my side. My now husband isn't a drunk drunk but he likes to have drinks at least 4 times a week and it is to a point now, after the nine months quit, that I go to bed by myself and he stays up drinking and watching movies alone. We do have a good marriage and lots of kisses and cuddles but let me tell you...tonight was about the most ignorant thing he could have done.

I'm sorry for my pity party...I'm just really down tonight after a really good week.

D.

stanleyhouse

I'm just thinking about you. Some days are just tough, hang in there.
SH

NYCDoglvr

Hi Mama .... please, don't beat yourself up! Denial is such a big part of the make-up of an alcoholic that sometimes we have to test it. All any of us have is being sober TODAY.
That's it! If you're sober today you're fine.