Starting Over Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Southwest
Posts: 7
Starting Over Again
I'm REALLY grateful for the support on this site today as I'm too sick to leave the house and desperately need to connect with those who understand this disease. After six months of sobriety, I decided to start drinking again thinking that this time it will be different because my life is finally coming together! I just graduated with a BA degree, was offered the best job of my life and finally moved into my own beautiful condo. Today, I find myself sicker than I've ever been in my life and not sure I'll even make it to work tomorrow....the insanity of this disease.
I tried staying sober on my own and it DIDN'T work....I know that my life is on the line this time, that I am powerless over alcohol and my life is truly unmanageble.
I tried staying sober on my own and it DIDN'T work....I know that my life is on the line this time, that I am powerless over alcohol and my life is truly unmanageble.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,868
So, are you in AA? Do you have a sponsor helping you work the steps? Realizing that you are powerless over alcohol is a good first step, but the hard work comes after that. It would be sad for you to lose your new great job and condo, but if you continue drinking, that exactly what is likely to happen.
Are you willing to do whatever it takes to recover?
Are you willing to do whatever it takes to recover?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Southwest
Posts: 7
Yes, back in AA, getting a sponsor and will begin working the steps. There is no other way, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes. If I don't have sobriety, I have nothing, and I will certainly lose everything if I continue drinking.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I'm wondering, after all that time, what triggered you to relapse. Besides getting to AA asap, you need to get to the root of your problem as to why it happened. I found talking to a counselor very helpful as I could talk out my life and came to my own realization.
I separated with my husand last August and moved into a rental house (owned by a friend) and started a new job. I lost that job due to my continued drinking and I can fully understand your thoughts on starting over and moving ahead.
I now have another job and am considered for a supervisor position (after only a month of employment)...I will do NOTHING to screw this up. I can not and will not let alcohol put me in a place where I am out of control again. It has been 4 months for me and am feeling powerful in my heart.
Please try again so you don't risk losing what you worked so hard for.
Wishing you peace and strength.
I separated with my husand last August and moved into a rental house (owned by a friend) and started a new job. I lost that job due to my continued drinking and I can fully understand your thoughts on starting over and moving ahead.
I now have another job and am considered for a supervisor position (after only a month of employment)...I will do NOTHING to screw this up. I can not and will not let alcohol put me in a place where I am out of control again. It has been 4 months for me and am feeling powerful in my heart.
Please try again so you don't risk losing what you worked so hard for.
Wishing you peace and strength.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Welcome home! This too shall pass. I know, I am nothing without recovery. When I am in recovery I can have the job, the wife, the kids, the hobbies, the friends. It's actually not even that difficult to manage them all. But, mix in drinking and frankly all of those things COMBINED go out the window.
I've heard that whatever we put in front of recovery, we'll lose. I've seen so many examples of how this statement is true. You have had 6 months of recovery so I know you can do it again. Just take it a day at a time, don't beat yourself up, just move on from this.
The trickiest part of this disease, is that it tells us morning, noon, and night we don't have it.
We see so many others able to enjoy that beer with seemingly no consequences. I have been going through this myself. I have six months and I have thought many times, why do I have to try so hard to be good when others don't. It's just my nasty disease using language that appeals to me so it can drink again.
You can get better and get through this. I wish you the best. Remember, you're not bad, you're just sick. All we have to do is get "un-sick". I seem to do my best when I'm hitting meetings on a daily basis.
I am capable of so much when I'm sober, the trick is staying that way.
I've heard that whatever we put in front of recovery, we'll lose. I've seen so many examples of how this statement is true. You have had 6 months of recovery so I know you can do it again. Just take it a day at a time, don't beat yourself up, just move on from this.
The trickiest part of this disease, is that it tells us morning, noon, and night we don't have it.
We see so many others able to enjoy that beer with seemingly no consequences. I have been going through this myself. I have six months and I have thought many times, why do I have to try so hard to be good when others don't. It's just my nasty disease using language that appeals to me so it can drink again.
You can get better and get through this. I wish you the best. Remember, you're not bad, you're just sick. All we have to do is get "un-sick". I seem to do my best when I'm hitting meetings on a daily basis.
I am capable of so much when I'm sober, the trick is staying that way.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Southwest
Posts: 7
Thank you so much, everyone, for your comments and encouragement. Yes, I'm starting tomorrow with a 7am AA meeting which I attended for a full month while in rehab last fall. It will be great to see some friendly faces and get my 24 hour chip.
EmeraldRose - great question...I'm convinced that the insanity of this disease starts in our head, and I had actually begun planning to start drinking again about a week ago thinking that this time it would be completely different because my life is now falling into place. My prior "triggers" included depression, lonliness and isolation since I was off work for two years. I will be seeing my former rehab counselor for a session or two this week and know that along with AA, step work, getting a sponsor etc., counseling will be critical for me to really get to the root of my issues and reasons for drinking.
Wishing everyone a happy sober week ahead as I begin the journey myself, once again.
EmeraldRose - great question...I'm convinced that the insanity of this disease starts in our head, and I had actually begun planning to start drinking again about a week ago thinking that this time it would be completely different because my life is now falling into place. My prior "triggers" included depression, lonliness and isolation since I was off work for two years. I will be seeing my former rehab counselor for a session or two this week and know that along with AA, step work, getting a sponsor etc., counseling will be critical for me to really get to the root of my issues and reasons for drinking.
Wishing everyone a happy sober week ahead as I begin the journey myself, once again.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
GettingHealthy4: I tried staying sober on my own and it DIDN'T work....I know that my life is on the line this time, that I am powerless over alcohol and my life is truly unmanageble.
I tried staying sober on my own and it was a most miserable time of my life. I did not relapse back into drinking, but it was only a matter of time before I would drink again. I was plagued by the mental obsession about alcohol and drinking, and I was at the depths of depression, unhappiness, misery. I was contantly on guard, vigilant and on the edge of drinking again. Each day was becoming worse for me than the day before.
I went back to AA, found a sponsor who works the steps from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and completely gave myself to working AA's simple spiritual program of action. I am now on my 9th step amends. I have not had a single thought or obsession about alcohol. I am calm and peaceful inside. I have no desire whatsoever to drink. I am a new person. The difference in me is night and day.
It sounds to me as if you are suffering from untreated alcoholism. There is no need to suffer. There is a solution. If you want to become well, you have some work to do.
Susan
I tried staying sober on my own and it was a most miserable time of my life. I did not relapse back into drinking, but it was only a matter of time before I would drink again. I was plagued by the mental obsession about alcohol and drinking, and I was at the depths of depression, unhappiness, misery. I was contantly on guard, vigilant and on the edge of drinking again. Each day was becoming worse for me than the day before.
I went back to AA, found a sponsor who works the steps from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and completely gave myself to working AA's simple spiritual program of action. I am now on my 9th step amends. I have not had a single thought or obsession about alcohol. I am calm and peaceful inside. I have no desire whatsoever to drink. I am a new person. The difference in me is night and day.
It sounds to me as if you are suffering from untreated alcoholism. There is no need to suffer. There is a solution. If you want to become well, you have some work to do.
Susan
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