citylights

Hi all, I was hoping to get some help from the group. I am only three days in, and am going through a very hard time. My father is in the hospital for alcoholic pancreatitis and is very ill, and my mother and I had a huge fight over the whole family's drinking, including hers, which she won't confront, and I have basically been banned from the hospital by them

Add to that, my boyfriend and I just had a fight when I told him that I was on Day Three, and that it's been hard because I haven't really been able to keep anything down and am going through withdrawal,and he said "at least you might lose some weight."

OK, I got off the phone in tears and immediately felt like drinking to crush all these feelings. I don't want to, I really don't want to end up where my dad is, but I don't want to feel so hurt and isolated.

Does anyone have any suggestions for how to deal with these feelings and the situation? Basically, I think I also want to hear--don't drink it won't help, which I know, but then I guess a lot of you know the other demon voice that speaks in your ear...

Thanks everyone.

TheTinMan

Really you are at the right place for support. And drinking will not help of course. Tomorrow you will still be struggling with the same battles but with a hangover.

I commend you for making it through day 3. Just stick around here and talk your way into day 4

suki44883

Don't drink. It won't help. Your boyfriend will still be a jerk and your dad will still be in the hospital and you'll wake up feeling like hammered shite. It's really, REALLY not worth it.

Do something nice for yourself. Order in, watch a favorite movie, eat ice cream, do whatever you want to do, but DO.NOT.DRINK.

Okay?

1undone

Don't drink! what a rough day! First, I'm sorry for what your "boyfriend" said to you. And now? Of all times to say that? Is this someone that cares for you?

If you drink the problems will still be there tomorrow and you will still be afraid that you will end up like your dad. Not only that but by drinking tonight you will be that much closer and who knows when you'd stop.

I want to say that if I were with you I'd give you a big hug. One thing I've learned is that you can't tell others - no matter how heavy their drinking is that they need to do anything about it. You will only be met with resentment and anger. As I'm sure you well know, it's only that when YOU are ready to stop drinking that YOU will take steps to get you on that path.

Again, I'm very sorry for your rough day! Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

I'm also very sorry to hear about your dad!

mubu

Hi Citylights,

Sorry about your dad and your boyfriend. You are smart to be on here, you are right a drink will not make it better. My dad died from alcoholism at 68, and I still chose to drink, I am on Day 15, and each day is getting a little easier.

Stressful days or situations still immediately trigger the thought that I really want a drink, and this site has helped me avoid drinking.

You will find lots of support on here, sending you hugs and positive thoughts.

Dee74

I'm really sorry you're having a bad time right now...but the advice here is great...

please keep reaching out for support...you can get through all this sober....don't go backwards...there's no answers back that way, citylights

D

Opivotal

Hi citylights.....Not drinking is the best thing you can do for yourself right now. The problems your having will still be there tomorrow when you wake up. Actually made worse by having a hangover.

Need I comment on your boyfriends remark? How hurtful and downright mean. Sorry, sounds like you need a support system. Glad you stopped in here.

Congrats on 3 days!! Of course your feeling lousy. Your body is confused and wanting alcohol. Stay strong and hang in there. Most importantly don't take that first drink.


Best Wishes To You!

citylights

Thank you all for your words and the strong message. Really appreciate it Tin, Suki, Dee, mubu, iundone, and opivital.

This is how I think God and faith works--I am staying in a city I don't know, and went around the corner to pick up something to eat, and there is a Hazeldon about 20 steps around the corner from me, with a meeting that started in 15 minutes that I went to and shared and got some numbers from when I am in town.

I just got back and read everyone's messages, and know that I am not going to drink today.

Thanks.

Thanks-

suki44883

Funny how things work, eh?

Dee74

right on!


D

artsoul

I'm glad you got a little "outside help" when you needed it! I believe things happen for a reason, too.

Be good to yourself - you've had a ton of stressors...... Just remember that you deserve to be sober and happy - so set your sails in that direction and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Let the day's troubles be sufficient for the day.

Drinking will only add more anxiety and sorrow to your life, which you don't need right now. Hang in there...... hugs and prayers!

citylights

thanks artsoul for the hug and prayers

EmeraldRose

I don't believe in coincidences.

ozgoddess

Hi City lights

Congrats on remaining sober when it was so tempting not to. This is all part of the journey of realization that drinking simply wont make it better. It is also the first time that you have had to deal with emotions while sober for a while I am guessing, and they tend to hit us like a brick wall in the beginning.

Have faith that you can get through this.

One day at at time...... only way to stay sober and best way to deal with life's issues.

Take care

newstart75

Good on you citylights for getting the support you need and not picking up a drink during such a tough time. You're stronger than you know!

Zebra1275

I'm glad you found some support, a higher power might be at work here.

grateful101010

Your future as a drinker is right in front of your eyes, lying in a hospital bed: your father, suffering the pain of pancreatitis because of this disease. It's caused by picking up a drink. So don't pick up.

woowaa

Keep your chin up, broken record bit first: "drinking won't help"

Now get a picture of aforementioned boyfriend, some darts, get that out of your system then a nice film and ice cream or something you like

Keep going :day6

1undone

citylights

Thanks everyone--you are all so right, picking up a drink isn't the answer, and where it leads is lying in a hospital, and I can tell you, it is not pretty and not a good way to end up.

So today is day four! And there is help and signs everywhere--I took walk this AM and was feeling so much, and there on a tree someone had put up a hand made cardboard sign:

"you are not alone." And of course I burst into tears and thanked God for the sign, just like the random AA meeting and and everyone on this awesome site. It's true, we're not alone. And Emerald, you are right, there are no coincidences.

Happy sunday, and a hug back to everyone. Hope you are doing great. x