CallMeComplex

I am a very routine oriented person. One of the things I am struggling with is developing a new routine of healthy habits. The first hour after I get off work and the hours after I'm the only one left awake in the house are the worst. I sit at my desk in the back room of my house in front of my computer and smoke blunts and smash drinks. My wife calls it the "dungeon" and she says when I go in there's no coming back out, I'm gone for the night.

Can anyone recommend any books/websites that would be helpful regarding forming healthy habits and routines? I feel almost lost. I have moved my computer out to the living room, and it's not so much of a trigger here, because I couldn't smoke in here, even when I was using.

Also, I am having crazy nicotine cravings. I quit being tobacco smoker (except blunts) over a year ago. I want to smoke like crazy right now. I see a few people talk about starting up smoking again after they quit drinking...is this common? I'm having a really hard time not replacing the booze and weed with other bad habits!

Thanks to everyone, love the site!

lovingit

Coming to this site and reading new posts has become a routine for me. I feel you on the cigarettes. I was at a pack a day, and now one and a half, but I just purchased one of those new electronic water vapor cigarettes. Whatever your new routine is, I'm sure it will be more productive than getting loaded.

InAJar

Yea, I understand about that routine. I am still trying to form a healthy routine myself. I guess it is kind of like lifting weights. Too much at once, and it may be too hard. Too little and there isn't enough improvement. I try to do little things every day. For example, when I drive home from work, I like to go by the liquor store and buy some beer. I almost do it automatically. I had to concentrate on making myself keep on going home. That may sound like a little thing, but it was a hard change to make. Then when I got home, I had to plan out a new routine. I would have to know the routine even before I came home from work. Try making little changes to throw off your routine. Replace it with little things everyday that are closer to the kind of routine that you would like. As crazy as it sounds, exercise seems to work well.

Dee74

Actually the key, for me, was getting away from routines...my life had become so structured around my drinking, I really needed to free up my life a little and get a little spontaneous.....

I used to drink while watching TV for example so I consciously did less TV watching and more active things, took a walk, spent more time cooking than I usually did, or read more....

I quit smoking at the same time I quit drinking. The two went hand in hand for me so it made sense to do it that way. Others I know here had great trouble tho

I wouldn't start back up again if you've quit tho - that sounds like a retrograde step to me.

It's best to find out what works for you, I guess CallMeComplex.

D

CallMeComplex

Not a little thing at all! I have to do the same thing. "No, just take it home" I will tell myself. I will wander around when I first get there, just walking from room to room. Mine is a drive-thru that knows my order. They have seen me more than 5 times a day before. I've been trying to count the money I'm saving. I'm glad you said that, though. My car will almost drive me to the drive thru.

coffeenut

Welcome to SR. Keep reading and posting!

CallMeComplex

I am looking forward to finding out what spontaneity is again. You can read me like a book and time me like a clock, and it's all got a buzz in the mix.

reggiewayne

When I quit drinking here was what my day was like.

Get up and pray, first thing. I asked God to reveal himself to me in a way that I could understand throughout the day. I'd then ask for help staying sober. Next, I'd make my bed. Made it (and still do) every single day. I'd then do something constructive around the house - vaccume, do the dish's, laundry, ANYTHING, but something constructive that helped my wife out. I'd then eat breakfast and go to an AA meeting. After the meeting I'd come home and sleep, sometimes for hours. I was such a mess when I quit, thank god I could sleep. There were some days when I couldn't go to work. I'd call in sick and just sleep.

I'd then go to work, and participate in this site while there. Once I got off work, I'd try and hit another meeting. I'd then get some phone numbers from guys in the program and call a few new people every day. I'd then get home and get busy. I'd cook dinner, or clean up if my wife had cooked. I'd then always make sure I did something else constructive before I relaxed.

Once my wife went to bed, I'd get back on this site and participate some more. If I was struggling with wanting to drink, I'd call more people. When I finally went to bed, I'd ready the Big Book until I fell asleep.

This routine has kept me sober for 6 months. I now don't have to sleep so much, and I hit the gym now, but baby steps at first. Life is a long time, we can work on other areas of our life in time, but early on most of my attention was paid to recovery.

Now, I do a lot of this stuff by habit.

Best of luck!

CallMeComplex

Reggie, your posts are awesome. This is my first day on the site, and I have read several. My wife is a patient, hard-working woman. I will try and fill up much of my time by doing things that I could have been helping with all along. I appreciate how detailed your post was. Thank you!

grateful101010

Reggie and Callme, now you're making me *almost* wish my husband was an alcoholic, so he'd help more around the house LOL. Nah, he's pretty good.

I love reading about other people's sober routines - they're much more interesting than the drunk one, which is:

Wake up, go to work, come home, watch TV, get drunk, pass out.

StPeteGrad

I found many of my routines were quite OCD with drinking as well. Triggers everywhere since I drank everywhere. As they say "there is only one thing you need to change to stay sober - everything."

Since my main habit was having a can of beer in my hand at all times I finally found that replacing that with hot herbal tea was a very nice solution - something I even look forward too all day. It's hot so it's not like beer but it's spicy (I like mint) so it has a physical effect on the tastebuds. I'm holding something in my hand so I don't feel too weird.

I've noticed some of my earliest replacement obsessions have subsided (like killing a 16 oz bag of m&m's every night).

Like Reggie, I rely on AA as an important part of my sobriety. Honesty, accountability - things that were just lofty ideals before are becoming traits that I'm learning and starting to cherish.

Hang in there. You can do it. Many of us thought we were too far gone but are writing and reading as non-drinkers right now.

-Peace
SPG

Kadybug

I started making a new sober routine while I was in prison, believe it or not; the first thing I do every morning, since I got home (18 months ago) is make my bed. It sets the tone for the whole day - "discipline". I can relate to the OCD-ness of it though! Get up, make the bed, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, take my meds, feed the cats, call my dad, light a cigarette. Any of those missing? My day feels "off". When I get home from work I have a short routine also before I allow myself the pleasure of turning on the computer and taking off my shoes.

But: the previous routine, in the drinking days, centered around getting over or getting to a drink. Heck, who am I kidding? A drink? no - a BOTTLE. I'll take the trade - bed is made and teeth are clean, and I'm not peeing my bed or throwing up.

nickoftime

ROFL - I too fell prey to this odd (but tasty) habit.

CallMeComplex

I like what reggie and kady have said about making sure you're doing something constructive before allowing yourself to relax. I think I am as OCD about getting into my routine as I am about living the routine. But yesterday I broke it, and it felt good. grateful- The routine you described should get old on its own, but it never does. From wake up-pass out could be a blur as long as I get there on the bottle. Feeling very free right now. I'm trying hard to associate this with the freedom I felt after quitting smoking. I think with ya'll I can do it!

CallMeComplex

Took a few teabags to work, going to try that replacement today SPG!

grateful101010

I agree about the herbal tea - I drink about 4 cups a day minimum.

CallMeComplex

Love your quote grateful.

Kjell

Hi CMC-

Do something, anything, everything different.

I had to change who I was or the same me would drink and smoke blunts again, and again, and again. It was as simple as that, not easy, but that simple.

I too, am an AA'er and it's an amazing program.

Kjell~

EmeraldRose

Discipline and routine are important.
Because my work schedule varies from day to day I have to keep on my toes and keep a strict schedule with myself to be mentally and physically prepared. My day starts by running outside with the pup to pee. LOL Then I worry about me. My day ends with a large bowl of ice cream.
Last night, after AA I sat outside with muh dogs for a half hour. Nice change and good to have time to 'reflect'.
But to be quite honest...I'm alot more constructive sober.

StPeteGrad

ummm....yeah.... I still do about 3 pots a night. It makes me feel so good, though- and it's just mint and it gets weeker with every pot until bedtime.
OCD much???