Missy7

do you expend on NOT drinking every day?

I'm early on in my sobriety. I won't discuss days until I pass my personal record of 13 days. But I'm finding that not drinking has to be a mantra in my head all the time--even when I never would have drank.

I have never had a drink and returned to work, so at work drinking is not an option and I didn't worry about it when I would be drinking at night.

But I DO worry about NOT drinking all day long.

So, I would say, that right now, 30% of my mind is playing the non-drinking record ALL the time.

Can some of us post

A. How long you have been sober; and
B. How much of your brain is worried about it?

I'm hoping to see a diminishment.

Doing okay though. Feeling great.

Thanks for helping me think about this SR.

smacked

A. Since 9/1/08
B. Honestly, none. I love being sober..

SSIL75

What do you mean by 'worry'?

I was and continue to be very conscious of my sobriety. In the early days I thought about it all the time. But it was excitement/hope/gratitude. Not a negative thing.

Missy7

I'm not sure it's a negative thing. Just a constant plan, perhaps an effort. Yes. I am constantly planning to make the right decisions. And that is an effort.

MIBluebird

Missy...when I was drinking I expended most of my brain power on thinking about when I could have my next drink. At four months, I think about all of the things I can do now that I'm sober. What a relief it is to have positive thoughts that lead to activities and relationships that boost my self esteem and enrich my life.

doggonecarl

I spend a fair amount of brain power on my recovery rather than "not drinking" per se. If my thinking shifts to drinking, or not drinking, then I know I'm not dealing with an issue in my life in an appropriate recovery-based manner.

But I know what you mean. My first few months all I thought about was one or the other--drinking or not drinking. My first (and only) relapse was an attempt to shut my brain down. Realized during the next stint at being sober that I would just have to wait it out as so many her on SR had told me.

sarah1414

Hi Missy, I am only at day 15 or so but I am thankful to report that I haven't thought a whole lot about drinking/not drinking over the last two weeks. This time is different for me. The other times I tried to quit, I was constantly thinking of it and wondering how I was really going to live life w/o looking forward to my evening wine.

I fully surrendered this time. Gave the "drinking" part of my life over to God (which I finally realized I was still trying to control on my own terms) and I truly feel a freedom I haven't had in a long time.

SSIL75

I can't believe how much I forget already. It's only been nine months. But anyway I do know that I did a lot of self-talk about how drinking was never an option, ever. And then if a thought of drinking creeped in I'd try to let it wash over me. "That's an alcoholic thought. I guess that's normal. I'm an alcoholic" and then it would pass by.

If the thought was intrusive/upsetting/unrelenting I'd pick and alternative thought. Like "My kids are driving me insane and I just want to neck a glass of wine". If that thought wouldn't abate I'd ask myself what a normal person does when their kids are driving them nuts. I know a lot of moms IRL and online and I'd reference what they say. People post on FB "Calgon take me away!" or refer talk about getting 'their' diet coke with ice. Or other random things that always seemed so boring and stupid to me.

But I'd trudge along and go get a $1 coke from McD's or clean the bathroom in preparation for a long, solo shower (don't like baths). And what do you know I would feel better. And so it evolved. Actively replacing the intrusive thoughts with normal people thoughts.

Kjell

a. 18 months sober
b. the obession to drink has been removed by working all 12 steps of AA.

Now, I put a lot of work into myself and my life, but drinking is no longer an option for me, today.

Kjell~

bellakeller

"Yes. I am constantly planning to make the right decisions. And that is an effort. "

It's called "living with intention". According to Socrates the 'unexamined life is not worth living'.

FBL

a. 23+ months sober
b. mental obsession to drink is gone with no "formal" program

Drinking is just no longer an option for me and I couldn't be happier about it!

Boleo

In my case, my brain thought more and more about drinking the longer I got away from my last drink. I think it peaked at 99% about 30 days abstinent and stayed that way till I had a spiritual experience.

After that it was 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001%

SoberHooligan

99 days and planning on 100+.

It does get easier, the first 30 days or so were constantly thinking about my alcoholism. In a way the more meetings I went to , tapes I listened to and books I read made me think about it even more.

However with time my thoughts are more of gratitude that I'm finally getting physically, mentally and spiritually well again. Every day get's better and better.

Keep it up!

Anna

I've been sober for more than 10 years and I never think about 'not drinking'.

I do however, think about recovery every day.

jennybeth

A. How long you have been sober; and
B. How much of your brain is worried about it?


I can so relate to your post! My personal record is pathetic, just two days. I am a pain pill junkie. I spend a whole lot of time thinking about keeping clean too, I mean all the time, it's all I can do to stay clean every day. Staying clean is constantly on my mind and yet I can't manage it. I still make doctors' appointments!! So frustrating, it's like one side of me is actively fighting another. Stop the madness!

CarolD

The only time I think about drinking is when I am sharing with someone interested in "How to Quit And Stay Quit"....
That began happening at around 2 months of this current run of AA recovery....22 years ago.

least

Going on 18 months next week.


No part of my brain/thoughts are 'worried' or busy with not drinking. It's my normal life to be sober now and I'm too happy sober to even think about drinking.

instant

I am now on day 18. I can relate to what Missy is saying. "not drinking" was an involuntary preoccupation that became irksome at the end of last week. It was almost like I spent more time on it than I used to spend on thinking about drinking (although that was probably incorrect). In the end I just had to accept it was happening, and focus on the more pleasurable aspects of the moment (especially noticing visual and sound experiences) and feeling better physically. This aspect of my sobriety is diminishing (or at least the sense of disquiet with it is getting better). I think this experience is related to the "obsession" with drinking, and the brain changing from withdrawal- still a relatively short time ago in biological terms.

I am trying to maintain my gratitude and humility through the day with a degree of success. It's an area that needs work for me. I guess the "not drinking" obsession is very protective at the moment- so I can see the positives of it.

And so for me a new day begins ..................

Dee74

I was obsessed with drinking...and then I was obesessed with not drinking.
It's two side of the same coin.

Drinking was a HUGE part of my life - I think it's natural I missed it for a while, even if it was toxic to me.

I can't say for sure when the obsession weakened...but it was longer than 2 weeks - I was definitely on a new road by 90 days or so though....I began to get excited by my new life and doing new things....

I think 3 months is a pretty good trade when you consider I drank for 20 years

I'm not troubled by 'drinking' or 'not drinking' now

D

erikm02

I use a lot of my brain power on not drinking when I'm in social situations or mad at something

Weekends are the worst because I get bored and lonely cooped up in my house after a while...