Hey
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 226
Hey
Hi All,
I'm in my late thirties, an alcoholic and an addict. I also suffer from depression and anxiety disorder.
I have been sober for 1 month. Prior to my last slip up, I had 2 months.
I work the steps everyday, but don't attend meetings, I found the meetings around here, a bit depressing, and negative. For me I found they made it a little harder to stay sober sometimes. The flip side of that is that I got a copy of the big book and started working the steps. Without that I wouldn't be sober today.
I like the back to basics stuff, but they don't have that in my area. I don't really know it, only through listening to mp3s and studying along with the big book. Its working for me so far.
At the moment I read the big book in the morning, and have highlighted passages colour coded to the steps. I also get down on my knees and pray the serenity prayer, the third step prayer, and ask for a clean and sober day.
Its wierd because 3 months ago I was a hard atheist, but I became willing to believe and it all changed from there.
I feel conscous of a need to work with others but can't see a way to do that without the meetings. I'm thinking about going back to just the meetings that I liked, which was really only two a week. Unfortunatly I know I'll get pressured to attend more. sigh. I'm posting here becuase of that urge.
thanks
G
I'm in my late thirties, an alcoholic and an addict. I also suffer from depression and anxiety disorder.
I have been sober for 1 month. Prior to my last slip up, I had 2 months.
I work the steps everyday, but don't attend meetings, I found the meetings around here, a bit depressing, and negative. For me I found they made it a little harder to stay sober sometimes. The flip side of that is that I got a copy of the big book and started working the steps. Without that I wouldn't be sober today.
I like the back to basics stuff, but they don't have that in my area. I don't really know it, only through listening to mp3s and studying along with the big book. Its working for me so far.
At the moment I read the big book in the morning, and have highlighted passages colour coded to the steps. I also get down on my knees and pray the serenity prayer, the third step prayer, and ask for a clean and sober day.
Its wierd because 3 months ago I was a hard atheist, but I became willing to believe and it all changed from there.
I feel conscous of a need to work with others but can't see a way to do that without the meetings. I'm thinking about going back to just the meetings that I liked, which was really only two a week. Unfortunatly I know I'll get pressured to attend more. sigh. I'm posting here becuase of that urge.
thanks
G
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Gazza))) - welcome to SR!! Though I went to meetings, years ago, I no longer go, however SR has been a huge part of my recovery and I still use what I learned in the meetings. The Alcoholism forum is a really good place with lots of ES&H, some threads are on step study, etc.
Congrats on one month!! You've found a place where people "get" what we're going through, and it's been invaluable in my recovery.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Congrats on one month!! You've found a place where people "get" what we're going through, and it's been invaluable in my recovery.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Gazza,
Welcome to SR
Hey, just reading your post helps me tonight!?!
I'm not one to attend boatloads of meetings, but as an athiest, I'm sure as hell not going to use that as a reason to stay away either.
I heard the best thing in a meeting last week, when this guy talked about "how other peoples opinion of him was none of his business"
It's taking me more than a few minutes to really get what he was saying ; but it's helped me change my thinking since then.
When it comes down to it for me, meetings (in reality) are very secular.
That's just me, though.
Welcome to SR
Hey, just reading your post helps me tonight!?!
I'm not one to attend boatloads of meetings, but as an athiest, I'm sure as hell not going to use that as a reason to stay away either.
I heard the best thing in a meeting last week, when this guy talked about "how other peoples opinion of him was none of his business"
It's taking me more than a few minutes to really get what he was saying ; but it's helped me change my thinking since then.
When it comes down to it for me, meetings (in reality) are very secular.
That's just me, though.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome and congratulations on your sober time! I think you'll enjoy the interaction here - lots of people with different beliefs and approaches to sobriety. I've learned a lot and get my daily support here.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
If there are two meetings a week that you like, go to those. Eventually you might learn of a third meeting and that would put you on track attend a meeting every other day. Most weeks I make it to about 3 meetings a week.
It is important that you get a sponsor, you can't sponsor yourself, it just doesn't work.
It is important that you get a sponsor, you can't sponsor yourself, it just doesn't work.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 226
Thanks all. Unfortunatly I slipped up as said you can't sponsor yourself.
I will go to those two meetings I like. I want to take my time finding a sponsor I think I choose hastily last time.
I really want to find a sponsor who isn't too clingy that just ain't me. I'm happy to work through the steps with some one and call them on a regular basis but daily us just too much honestly were not all the same.
I started working through the 4th for the second time in my life. This time properly ulits taking ke a while...
Here's a question does my sponsor have to be an AA? I like the big book and the steps but I don't really like AA half the people are just sitting around mooching wining and not working the steps anyhow. Not all of course but many and they drag me down I'm just being honest I know feelings run strong around this...
I will go to those two meetings I like. I want to take my time finding a sponsor I think I choose hastily last time.
I really want to find a sponsor who isn't too clingy that just ain't me. I'm happy to work through the steps with some one and call them on a regular basis but daily us just too much honestly were not all the same.
I started working through the 4th for the second time in my life. This time properly ulits taking ke a while...
Here's a question does my sponsor have to be an AA? I like the big book and the steps but I don't really like AA half the people are just sitting around mooching wining and not working the steps anyhow. Not all of course but many and they drag me down I'm just being honest I know feelings run strong around this...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Gazza,
I ended up just asking a guy I could relate to, to be a 'temporary " sponsor. Was worried about the very same thing ( the "too clingy" aspect ).
Probably worried the guy early on I wasn't the best at attendance, but I can tell it means something to him now; ....being clean and sober over a year along with real personality changes speaks volumes.
Anyway, from what I understand, if ya get a temp. sponsor for starters, you can always find another.
The whole concept of "not drinking, no matter what" was something that took a little while to sink in.
I had the same thing of "judging" folks in meetings. Had to give those particular ones a break, but when I went back, sometimes the whole tenor of the meetings seemed different. I'm absolutely sure it seemed that way because I'd lowered my expectations, and probably had enough sober days/ months to feel more empathetic to their situation.
Reading through the BB, I don't remember anything about daily calls to a sponsor.
It's great you are doing the work suggested in the BB !! ie ...4th step.
Welcome to SR, this place saved my behind this past year.
I ended up just asking a guy I could relate to, to be a 'temporary " sponsor. Was worried about the very same thing ( the "too clingy" aspect ).
Probably worried the guy early on I wasn't the best at attendance, but I can tell it means something to him now; ....being clean and sober over a year along with real personality changes speaks volumes.
Anyway, from what I understand, if ya get a temp. sponsor for starters, you can always find another.
The whole concept of "not drinking, no matter what" was something that took a little while to sink in.
I had the same thing of "judging" folks in meetings. Had to give those particular ones a break, but when I went back, sometimes the whole tenor of the meetings seemed different. I'm absolutely sure it seemed that way because I'd lowered my expectations, and probably had enough sober days/ months to feel more empathetic to their situation.
Reading through the BB, I don't remember anything about daily calls to a sponsor.
It's great you are doing the work suggested in the BB !! ie ...4th step.
Welcome to SR, this place saved my behind this past year.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Gazza 
... half the people are just sitting around mooching wining and not working the steps anyhow.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Welcome Gazza! Congrats on your month! 
I'm pondering the whole idea of my sponsor too. I have one but I'm worried she will be too clingy. I don't have a problem saying anything and maybe I'm worrying over nothing but I don't like having to touch base with someone every single day.
My AA meetings are pretty upbeat and focus on solutions and positive experiences due to the old-timers sobriety. I like the smaller groups though, when they get too big it just seems like I'm too distracted by meaningless stuff.
I'm pondering the whole idea of my sponsor too. I have one but I'm worried she will be too clingy. I don't have a problem saying anything and maybe I'm worrying over nothing but I don't like having to touch base with someone every single day.
My AA meetings are pretty upbeat and focus on solutions and positive experiences due to the old-timers sobriety. I like the smaller groups though, when they get too big it just seems like I'm too distracted by meaningless stuff.
...is learning and growing...
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 573
Welcome Gazza!
I'm not in AA but have read the BB and listened to tons of speaker tapes. It seems that quite a few of the AA folks who are now doing extremely well have said they absolutely hated to have to talk to their sponsor every day early on but in hindsight it was one of the best things they did to keep them on track. Just a thought... though I know everyone is different.
Best of luck on your journey.
I'm not in AA but have read the BB and listened to tons of speaker tapes. It seems that quite a few of the AA folks who are now doing extremely well have said they absolutely hated to have to talk to their sponsor every day early on but in hindsight it was one of the best things they did to keep them on track. Just a thought... though I know everyone is different.
Best of luck on your journey.
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