lostsheep

Hi, I'm lostsheep.

I'm 46, 3 kids, one about to graduate hs and I am an alcoholic. With God's will, tonight will be the night I quit drinking. I have so many questions, concerns, fears, etc, but I am soooo hoping to be the person I was 10 yrs ago; hyper, organized, funny, happy, creative, and loving. Alcohol made me more sociable...until a few months ago. It now controls me and I don't want to have a drink because I need it. time to let go of an old friend/enemy. I am scared about who I will turn into when I quit though. I don't wnat to be so focused on my sobriety that I forget my family. I was useless for a couple of weeks each time I quit smoking. Will I be useless when I quit drinking?

bellakeller

Sounds like drinking has made you more useless than stopping will.

Best of luck and Welcome here!

Much love.

artsoul

I think you have to expect an adjustment period, but I agree with Bella: I was a lot less available to my family when I was drinking. After the initial 3-4 days of getting alcohol out of my system, I began to see and appreciate things around me again. While there was some insomnia, and low energy issues, I had much less anxiety and started to feel the "real me" again - all within the first week or two.

Even if you were to be "useless" temporarily, what is that compared to living the life of an alcoholic and dragging everyone down with you?

Keep focused on getting through the next 24 hours sober. The rest will work itself out. :ghug3

Hevyn

lostsheep - So glad you're here! Be proud of yourself for reaching out for a better life. SR helped me get on the right road, & I check in here several times a day. It's my lifeline, and has been for almost 4 yrs.

I was obsessed with quitting in the beginning, but gradually it didn't occupy my mind all the time. Once you get over those first few hurdles you'll feel encouraged. Be patient and kind to yourself - you can do this. Read here and jump in to the conversations when you feel the urge - it helps to calm your nerves & you can learn alot. Wishing you a great new life. You are not alone.

Soph

Welcome to SR!

To answer your question...The way I feel about it is, I believe that you are you, and right now you are Alcohol-Dependent You and now you have been given another chance, and you can be "You on the Road to Recovery," to return to the You who you said you missed...all that great stuff about being creative, funny, happy, organized...it's all inside you! Waiting to come back out!

My "best me" - sober, patient, relaxed...she keeps encouraging me and every day that I don't pick up, I am one step closer to the me I want to be. It feels amazing! So hopeful.

You can do this.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

It's normal to feel scared about what we will find when we begin the recovery journey. I really had to take a leap of faith, and it was so worth it. Of course, you might not find what you were expecting to find, but it will be the authentic you. I am less social now and that's more than fine with me.

JoM

Hi I'm Jo and I'm trying to start over again. Just 19 days clean. Need help

Zebra1275

Welcome lostsheep and Jo, stick around.

Dee74

Welcome lost sheep - and welcome to you too Jo.

It definitely is scary - I didn't know if I could do it - but I kept my head down and stayed committed.

It wasn't always easy - sometimes it was pretty difficult - but support counts for a lot and you'll find a lot of that here

I didn't know who I'd be either but if anything I uncovered a lot of the old me again - the same but better, because I learned and grew from my mistakes...

I've never regretted it, and I know you guys won't either

Hope to see you around some more
D

lostsheep

Have seen dr and given inderol and small supply of zanax, just incase withdrawals are severe. Drinking tons of camomille tea and water. Feel relaxed but 5pm has not hit yet, so not sure what will happen. I would like to go to bed early so that I don't even think about wine. One minute at a time and looking forward to getting through my first 24 hrs with no alcohol.

least

It can be scary at first but oh, is it worth it. My life sober is so much better, I'm alive again instead of just existing between bottles. (I was a wino too)

sarah1414

Hi lostsheep and welcome to this wonderful forum. I am a newbie too and SR has been a huge help! Don't think of the short-term with regards to your family. Think ahead to the better wife and mommy you will be once the old you has returned. It isn't easy but it is worth it...always.

mubu

Hi Lostsheep,

I am a newbie too. Like you I have three children, and was used to wine each night. This is Day 7 for me, I still feel like I am obsessing over staying sober, and trying to find alternate nighttime activities to replace drinking.

I have been hanging out with my kids and playing with them until they go to bed, and then having chocolate milk or ginger ale while my husband has beer. It has not been an easy week, but I am hopeful that it is going to get easier.

I know this weekend will be challenging.

Good luck tonight, maybe we can check in on each other and get through this together.

coffeenut

Welcome to SR! Lots of good advice here already. Be gentle with yourself. And at times, it really is a moment at a time.

And....it does get better. Much better. Hang in there!

IndaMiricale

Hi there lostsheep and jo and welcome

I as so many here are new to this but it is really nice waking up in the morning sober(best part so far for me).

So hang in there youll make it though and lets keep this thought process going

Peace , Dylan

lostsheep

mubu: thanks. I wish I could say I hung out with my kids but for my first/day night could only focus on getting through the day/night. Sure, made dinner and went to bat for teen daughter who is having a crisis, but went to bed early. Hubby was real supportive, but he also has the flu so he could entertain 10 yr old so much. the older ones....it was a free for all.

I'm thrilled I made it through day 1, or will tonight be considered day 1? My last drink was Thursday at 10pm. At anyrate. I'm not happy or sad, a little restless, board and keeping busy. Need more camomille tea and caffein free coke. Remembering when I was sober: I would wake up early and work muscles doing yard work, or clean house, or do anything that struck my fancy. I can't wait to get there again. My withdrawals, if any were mild. Slight warming, headache, restlessness, slight feeling of asthama attack, anxiety. Lets see how they go...I know they may get worst, but I believe that God will carry me through. Yes, lets keep communicating.

lostsheep

so true. Minute by minute. I wish where I lived the sun would come out more often and be warm. The times when I feel I will falter, I would love to sit where the sun is...even if it is only a spot on the sunroom floor. lol.

artsoul

Congrats on getting through day 1 (a Friday, no less!)..... Hope today goes well and that you don't have any bad withdrawal symptoms. (Eating something helps with cravings, too)

Be good to yourself and remember to take it a day at a time.

lostsheep

I've noticed that not only do I not have any particular cravings for food, I have no appetite. Nothing seems to appeal to me, or takes too long to prepare. I've noticed that the last couple of weeks I havent really been eating and attribute it to the drinking....which use to give me an appetite for food. Something easy to make....hmmm. Part of me is afraid that I'll feel nausous if I eat something. Food has never been a problem for me,until now.

bellakeller

Hi Lostsheep. Maybe you should see your doc about the lack of appetite. That happened to me at the end of my drinking and turns out I was severely anemic. Hang in there!

Much love.