Back again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: England
Posts: 51
Back again
I'm not really new, but I never got around to using the forums.
I saw a lady from Adsis today (it's a charity in the UK which deals with alcoholism).
I have panic disorder which caused me to self medicate. It worked well...at first, then, of course, I became addicted.
I am not quitting straight off but cutting down by one unit a day. I know I know, cutting down never worked for me when I was stopping smoking but because I am such an anxious person I need to do it this way because I am terrified of withdrawals.
The Adsis lady was great, but I'm only seeing her once a month. I thought it would be a very good idea to get some support from the wonderful people here. Also because I have been isolating myself for so long it will do me good to interact with people who understand and won't judge.
I know it's going to be hard, but I NEED to do this before it's too late.
Just excuse me when I don't reply straight away, my anxiety and alcoholism does make me put off replying. But I will try my best to interact. It will do me good
I saw a lady from Adsis today (it's a charity in the UK which deals with alcoholism).
I have panic disorder which caused me to self medicate. It worked well...at first, then, of course, I became addicted.
I am not quitting straight off but cutting down by one unit a day. I know I know, cutting down never worked for me when I was stopping smoking but because I am such an anxious person I need to do it this way because I am terrified of withdrawals.
The Adsis lady was great, but I'm only seeing her once a month. I thought it would be a very good idea to get some support from the wonderful people here. Also because I have been isolating myself for so long it will do me good to interact with people who understand and won't judge.
I know it's going to be hard, but I NEED to do this before it's too late.
Just excuse me when I don't reply straight away, my anxiety and alcoholism does make me put off replying. But I will try my best to interact. It will do me good
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Welcome, Frisky! Glad you are here. And yes, interacting with us on all on here will definitely help. SR has been so important to me in the 35 days I have sober. I've found everyone to be so supportive and helpful. Keep reading and posting!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: England
Posts: 51
Congrats newwings on the 35 days 
That is fab!
I am reading through things now and I really do adore how amazing everyone here is. No guilt because life went a bit wrong, and tremendous support which really is something I need right now.
That is fab!I am reading through things now and I really do adore how amazing everyone here is. No guilt because life went a bit wrong, and tremendous support which really is something I need right now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
One more thing - drinking alcohol definitely made my anxiety worse. I can totally relate to you drinking to temporarily help with it, I used to do that too. I had a driving phobia that was really limiting my life. In fact, I only got my US license last year because I didn't want to drive on the highway. I moved to California from the UK three years ago, and the traffic really scares me, especially the five lane freeways.
I am pleased to tell you that I have been able to drive on the freeway for the first time EVER! This was after about 15 days of being sober. Yes, it was still scary, but I didn't have a panic attack or feel totally overwhelmed, and I didn't obsess about it before I did it (which was the worst bit about the whole anxiety thing. I'd mentally plan it for days on end, and feel it really kick up a notch).
I'm also more even and steady day to day, as well. No roller coaster of feelings, just a nice, steady calm inner peace. I still laugh, I still get excited, I still get cross and angry, but the feelings aren't so overwhelmingly intense. Basically - normal!
I am pleased to tell you that I have been able to drive on the freeway for the first time EVER! This was after about 15 days of being sober. Yes, it was still scary, but I didn't have a panic attack or feel totally overwhelmed, and I didn't obsess about it before I did it (which was the worst bit about the whole anxiety thing. I'd mentally plan it for days on end, and feel it really kick up a notch).
I'm also more even and steady day to day, as well. No roller coaster of feelings, just a nice, steady calm inner peace. I still laugh, I still get excited, I still get cross and angry, but the feelings aren't so overwhelmingly intense. Basically - normal!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: England
Posts: 51
newwings That's incredible. Driving is something I really am not not good at! To get along an interstate, that busy, is something I can't even comprehend. And after 15 days sober is even better. It's really amazing!
My anxiety came before the alcohol, but I know the alcohol makes it worse. Half a pint of vodka and I can walk to the shops without freaking out and curling up in a ball on the floor. But next morning I'm shaking like crazy and the anxiety is worse than ever. Vicious circle.
I really want to crack it this time. Slow and steady, and I know I can never drink again once I reach that goal, but I'm going to do it
And thank you too Kjell. I was just reading a few of your posts and they helped me feel more confident.
My anxiety came before the alcohol, but I know the alcohol makes it worse. Half a pint of vodka and I can walk to the shops without freaking out and curling up in a ball on the floor. But next morning I'm shaking like crazy and the anxiety is worse than ever. Vicious circle.
I really want to crack it this time. Slow and steady, and I know I can never drink again once I reach that goal, but I'm going to do it
And thank you too Kjell. I was just reading a few of your posts and they helped me feel more confident.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
Welcome Frisky
I self medicated too for a variety of things, including anxiety. The trouble with cutting back is pretty self evident - when we rely on something so much, it sometimes can be very difficult to cut back.
Have you thought of seeing a Dr? You could make sure you're safe in withdrawal, and make sure all your other issues are addressed as well
D
I self medicated too for a variety of things, including anxiety. The trouble with cutting back is pretty self evident - when we rely on something so much, it sometimes can be very difficult to cut back.
Have you thought of seeing a Dr? You could make sure you're safe in withdrawal, and make sure all your other issues are addressed as well
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome back! Getting support is so important for us - you just can't have too much of it!
I hope your taper goes well - some people can manage it and some can't. I agree with Dee about seeing a doctor - it would make things so much easier. Have you ever gotten professional help with your panic disorder?
Keep posting/reading - things will get better!
I hope your taper goes well - some people can manage it and some can't. I agree with Dee about seeing a doctor - it would make things so much easier. Have you ever gotten professional help with your panic disorder?
Keep posting/reading - things will get better!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: England
Posts: 51
Dee74 Yeah, I'm not sure cutting back will be the right option for me. I have a month before I see my counsellor again, so a diary sheet and time will tell. I am going to give it my best shot, and it will work, but then I can see me having a panicky day and thinking "one extra drink won't hurt".
The counsellor won't let me go cold turkey mind you. Her mind is set on reducing so I don't get withdrawals, and from there to abstain completely.
Going to my doctor is tricky. I've told everyone else on the planet I have a problem, but my doctor I became close with. It's like admitting to yet another friend I have a problem. I'm going to have to suck it up at some point though. It's what he's there for.
artsoul Yep, I'm getting help with the panic disorder. That's how I finally came to admit to the the pros that I have a drinking problem. They're great and we're all working together as a team to get my head right again!
I've read a lot on here tonight, and thank you again everyone for your encouragement. I'm going to be stubborn and work on this as hard as I can
Edit because my post went all wonky and part disappeared lol
The counsellor won't let me go cold turkey mind you. Her mind is set on reducing so I don't get withdrawals, and from there to abstain completely.
Going to my doctor is tricky. I've told everyone else on the planet I have a problem, but my doctor I became close with. It's like admitting to yet another friend I have a problem. I'm going to have to suck it up at some point though. It's what he's there for.
artsoul Yep, I'm getting help with the panic disorder. That's how I finally came to admit to the the pros that I have a drinking problem. They're great and we're all working together as a team to get my head right again!
I've read a lot on here tonight, and thank you again everyone for your encouragement. I'm going to be stubborn and work on this as hard as I can
Edit because my post went all wonky and part disappeared lol
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: England
Posts: 51
Well thought I'd pop back in with an update. It's been a tough few months.
Trying to reduce my intake just hasn't happened. Last week two days running I was so drunk by 4pm I had no choice but to go to bed. Then things picked up again emotionally and THEN I was hit by a massive panic attack. Since then I have been pretty much sat on the edge of my bed quivering with anxiety. And the pros who are supposed to be helping just keep telling me I need to crack on with my CBT.
Pfft, that's helpful, I wanted to actually talk to someone not have them tell me the same old nonsense.
Today I got a call from the Adsis lady, ie alcohol counsellor, she suggested detox.
Honestly I recoiled at the thought of it. She told me to read some stuff online and naturally I ended up here!
The idea of life without alcohol is just something I can't comprehend, but I know I can't get mentally well whilst I am still self medicating with it. I saw a post by Dee saying life was on hold whilst drinking, that's how I feel.
I just don't feel ready to stop, but when am I ever going to be?
Amy
Trying to reduce my intake just hasn't happened. Last week two days running I was so drunk by 4pm I had no choice but to go to bed. Then things picked up again emotionally and THEN I was hit by a massive panic attack. Since then I have been pretty much sat on the edge of my bed quivering with anxiety. And the pros who are supposed to be helping just keep telling me I need to crack on with my CBT.
Pfft, that's helpful, I wanted to actually talk to someone not have them tell me the same old nonsense.
Today I got a call from the Adsis lady, ie alcohol counsellor, she suggested detox.
Honestly I recoiled at the thought of it. She told me to read some stuff online and naturally I ended up here!
The idea of life without alcohol is just something I can't comprehend, but I know I can't get mentally well whilst I am still self medicating with it. I saw a post by Dee saying life was on hold whilst drinking, that's how I feel.
I just don't feel ready to stop, but when am I ever going to be?
Amy
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